FIFTY SHADES OF SEXUAL HARASSMENT

PREFACE
I have encountered sexual harassment at many levels throughout my life. I have not always recognized it as such at the time. Sometimes I realized it right after it happened, after thinking about it for some time (days, weeks, months, even years), and sometimes never realizing it until relating a story about it and someone else pointing it out. How odd is that?

STORY
I was working in a 7-Eleven on Saturday, setting up a display for the coming Christmas season. This store was the 15th location I had completed in the past six days. I work from a seated position as my lower back cannot take the bending and stooping required. I take my two-step A-frame step ladder with me and use it to sit on and get to lower levels and bottom rows.

A customer came in and walked over to me, standing behind me, he reached around leaning into my back to "reach for something" hanging on the display. I could smell the strong odor of Listerine (used to mask alcohol, as it triggered a memory of my alcoholic father). As I turned to see if I recognized him, he said something apologetic, giggled and walked away. Maybe this was his idea of flirting?

He then returned and leaned in behind me to give me a hug (of sorts), again feigning that he was going to buy something off the display I was setting up. Both his arms encircling me at just below shoulder height. Held only long enough as to not make me too uncomfortable. He said, "You know I'm just kidding around. I'm a regular in here," and then walked away again. Minutes later, he returned with a single rose bought from the counter as he checked out. He said, "For you, for putting up with me messing around. It's just that I hadn't seen you in here before. See you later." To which I replied, "You probably won't see me later, as I don't work here. But thanks for the flower."

CONCLUSION
As I reflected on the whole experience, I started to get creeped out. What he had done was sexual harassment at the least, sexual assault at the worst. He invaded my space. Touched me (a stranger) without permission, twice! And then gave me with a present to apologize for his actions. It had made me uncomfortable. He had had the positional advantage of standing while I was sitting. He had approached me from behind with no warning, both times, and had made the second encounter more intimate than the first. It was creepy.

While walking on the sidewalk or riding my bike, I have been sexually harassed by men on the side of the road or from moving vehicles, cat-calling; bosses making advances; customers being inappropriate while I worked as a server; and at least one incident of misjudging a sexual encounter. But not until recently, with all the "outing" of sexual predators, would I have taken notice of this brief encounter as an incident of sexual harassment. All the other times were when I was younger, slimmer, prettier, and I dealt with them as accepted behavior (as Weinstein's actions were accepted but not acceptable behavior). I have always thought it was disgusting but "it happens all the time." I am glad that this behavior is being called on to be accountable. That men need to realize that what they think is flirting, IS NOT. That it is NOT acceptable to invade someone's space or touch their body without permission. ESPECIALLY IF THEY ARE A STRANGER! Geez! Men need to be re-trained in the art of social contact.