PREFACE
I have encountered sexual harassment at many levels throughout my life. I have not always recognized it as such at the time. Sometimes I realized it right after it happened, after thinking about it for some time (days, weeks, months, even years), and sometimes never realizing it until relating a story about it and someone else pointing it out. How odd is that?
STORY
I was working in a 7-Eleven on Saturday, setting up a display for the coming Christmas season. This store was the 15th location I had completed in the past six days. I work from a seated position as my lower back cannot take the bending and stooping required. I take my two-step A-frame step ladder with me and use it to sit on and get to lower levels and bottom rows.
A customer came in and walked over to me, standing behind me, he reached around leaning into my back to "reach for something" hanging on the display. I could smell the strong odor of Listerine (used to mask alcohol, as it triggered a memory of my alcoholic father). As I turned to see if I recognized him, he said something apologetic, giggled and walked away. Maybe this was his idea of flirting?
He then returned and leaned in behind me to give me a hug (of sorts), again feigning that he was going to buy something off the display I was setting up. Both his arms encircling me at just below shoulder height. Held only long enough as to not make me too uncomfortable. He said, "You know I'm just kidding around. I'm a regular in here," and then walked away again. Minutes later, he returned with a single rose bought from the counter as he checked out. He said, "For you, for putting up with me messing around. It's just that I hadn't seen you in here before. See you later." To which I replied, "You probably won't see me later, as I don't work here. But thanks for the flower."
CONCLUSION
As I reflected on the whole experience, I started to get creeped out. What he had done was sexual harassment at the least, sexual assault at the worst. He invaded my space. Touched me (a stranger) without permission, twice! And then gave me with a present to apologize for his actions. It had made me uncomfortable. He had had the positional advantage of standing while I was sitting. He had approached me from behind with no warning, both times, and had made the second encounter more intimate than the first. It was creepy.
While walking on the sidewalk or riding my bike, I have been sexually harassed by men on the side of the road or from moving vehicles, cat-calling; bosses making advances; customers being inappropriate while I worked as a server; and at least one incident of misjudging a sexual encounter. But not until recently, with all the "outing" of sexual predators, would I have taken notice of this brief encounter as an incident of sexual harassment. All the other times were when I was younger, slimmer, prettier, and I dealt with them as accepted behavior (as Weinstein's actions were accepted but not acceptable behavior). I have always thought it was disgusting but "it happens all the time." I am glad that this behavior is being called on to be accountable. That men need to realize that what they think is flirting, IS NOT. That it is NOT acceptable to invade someone's space or touch their body without permission. ESPECIALLY IF THEY ARE A STRANGER! Geez! Men need to be re-trained in the art of social contact.
Showing posts with label physical attraction. Show all posts
Showing posts with label physical attraction. Show all posts
Monday, November 13, 2017
Monday, September 05, 2016
BROKEN HEART REVISITED
PREFACE
I guess it's not a real broken heart but it definitely hurt my feelings and changed the direction of my plans. Should you ever revisit a past relationship even if that relationship was short-lived? At this point I would say, "No."
STORY
We had met on some online dating site and then in real life. We hit it off well and I spent the night at his place which he shared with his roommate and his daughter. I liked him and he liked me. We were hot for each other too. I invited him to my house at the time, and we got busy right away. Then I didn't hear from him. I'm not the type to push, or nag, or text someone a million times. I seem to remember trying several times to contact him but then gave up.
I've had his email & picture in my Gmail account ever since then. JS contacted me on Facebook. I hadn't heard from him in 10 years. We went out to dinner and talked for 3 hours. We made out in the parking lot and it was hot. We texted every day and went to dinner the next week. We talked for almost 3 hours and made out in the parking lot. We continued to text every day. From the time we got up to the time we went to bed. Then we had lunch one day and we kissed and hugged at my car before parting ways. We had long, frank discussions about how we wanted to have sex but couldn't make that happen with our living arrangements. He made us reservations at a hotel suite but then had to cancel due to his not having the money. This went on for a month. Last week we were going on a road trip to central Florida for me to deliver a chair to a friend and get some stuff from my storage unit. I had to cancel because I didn't have enough money for the trip. We finally set the date for me to come over and spend the night if I wanted to. I texted him that I was going to be coming over later than we had planned. He texted that he had to cancel.
His first reason was a cold sore but there was another one too. I asked what. He said that his ex had texted him and started talking to him about getting back together. He hadn't really gotten over her and didn't want to hurt me by continuing forward with us. I was very, very hurt. I cried, and cried, and cried. I texted him that I would have to take some time to process this.
CONCLUSION
I texted my son about what happened. He said to tell him that "I'm not a fire extinguisher. I'm not there as a backup to anyone else and he either needs to choose me or not." And he said if he doesn't respect me enough for that, he hasn't earned my time. I am trying to live in the now. The now today was painful. It made me cry. It also made me contact two other men that had showed an interest in me last month. I hadn't cultivated the contacts due to JS. Now I am.
I guess it's not a real broken heart but it definitely hurt my feelings and changed the direction of my plans. Should you ever revisit a past relationship even if that relationship was short-lived? At this point I would say, "No."
STORY
We had met on some online dating site and then in real life. We hit it off well and I spent the night at his place which he shared with his roommate and his daughter. I liked him and he liked me. We were hot for each other too. I invited him to my house at the time, and we got busy right away. Then I didn't hear from him. I'm not the type to push, or nag, or text someone a million times. I seem to remember trying several times to contact him but then gave up.
I've had his email & picture in my Gmail account ever since then. JS contacted me on Facebook. I hadn't heard from him in 10 years. We went out to dinner and talked for 3 hours. We made out in the parking lot and it was hot. We texted every day and went to dinner the next week. We talked for almost 3 hours and made out in the parking lot. We continued to text every day. From the time we got up to the time we went to bed. Then we had lunch one day and we kissed and hugged at my car before parting ways. We had long, frank discussions about how we wanted to have sex but couldn't make that happen with our living arrangements. He made us reservations at a hotel suite but then had to cancel due to his not having the money. This went on for a month. Last week we were going on a road trip to central Florida for me to deliver a chair to a friend and get some stuff from my storage unit. I had to cancel because I didn't have enough money for the trip. We finally set the date for me to come over and spend the night if I wanted to. I texted him that I was going to be coming over later than we had planned. He texted that he had to cancel.
His first reason was a cold sore but there was another one too. I asked what. He said that his ex had texted him and started talking to him about getting back together. He hadn't really gotten over her and didn't want to hurt me by continuing forward with us. I was very, very hurt. I cried, and cried, and cried. I texted him that I would have to take some time to process this.
CONCLUSION
I texted my son about what happened. He said to tell him that "I'm not a fire extinguisher. I'm not there as a backup to anyone else and he either needs to choose me or not." And he said if he doesn't respect me enough for that, he hasn't earned my time. I am trying to live in the now. The now today was painful. It made me cry. It also made me contact two other men that had showed an interest in me last month. I hadn't cultivated the contacts due to JS. Now I am.
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
RETIREMENT AGE DATING
PREFACE
I have to qualify the title "Retirement Age Dating" to what it means to me at this point in time. It means those single women and men just short of or at retirement age. Now retirement age use to mean 65 (and that is what it means to me) but now full retirement age is 67! or even 70! We are living longer and working longer. Of course, more women are living longer than more men but that's another article. There are a lot of places now that consider ME a senior at 55 and give me the senior discount!
STORY
(1) I have a sister 9 years and 5 months older than I and she has been single for more than 30 years. First single when her husband left her for a 16 yo girl (yes, really!) and then legally divorced from same husband 9 years later so he could marry same girl who was then 25 (!). My sister raised her only son by herself, fighting tooth and nail for support from her well-paid fireman husband. She didn't date because of being legally married and also due to her son (not wanting a parade of men vying for his affections/approval, nor wanting any ammo for the estranged husband on her lifestyle or reputation). She had two serious relationships in the last 20 years but neither worked out satisfactorily. Just recently she put herself on a popular dating site with explicit wants and needs for a companion (not a sex partner or marriage prospect). She got DF who is perfect in a multitude of ways, but she is not romantically nor sexually attracted to him. He so far he is satisfied with the arrangement and caters to her needs and wants without looking for a love commitment or physical involvement.
(2) The lady next door is 63 1/2 and widowed now 5 years. She was very shy about starting to date again but has been steadily seeing a man 10+ years her senior. He is different than any man she has ever known and he doesn't treat her well. He's the first man she has had sex with since her late husband died. The sex is great according to her. Their relationship has been off-and-on over the past two years. He has broken her heart several times only to come back and start it all up again. He tells her to seek out her other options (date other men who are interested) and then becomes jealous and insults her when she does. She dated one man who is very wealthy and could take care of her in style, treats her like a queen (except when he wanted to have sex with her and after she said it was too soon, he said he'd be willing to pay...!...what is wrong with men in their 70's???). Her steady guy is on lots of medications and has recently been taken off two of them. He's back in her life again and she sees a big improvement. Maybe it has been the combination of meds that has made him so "bipolar!" but we'll have to wait and see on that.
(3) And then there's me...55...educated...full-figured...energetic...diverse interests/experiences..healthy sexual appetite. What do I find? Men who want one-night-stands or fall madly in love with me and I feel nothing or I really like them and never get a second date-or-phone call-or-any communication ever again...WTF? This happens across age groups and ethnic groups. I've dated men from 25-64 and most every race. I'm so tired of searching and being disappointed.
CONCLUSION
It is a crap shoot! In my opinion, you have nothing to lose in putting yourself out there, whether it's online or in real life. The only condition is that you have to be willing to accept love into your life. If you send good thoughts and wishes out into the universe, you will draw good things to you. Whether you pray or meditate, do morning and evening affirmations, write down your wants and needs, build a dream board or let go and let God...sooner or later, you will find someone right for you. My wish for you is that you recognize them when they come along!! Happy dating!
I have to qualify the title "Retirement Age Dating" to what it means to me at this point in time. It means those single women and men just short of or at retirement age. Now retirement age use to mean 65 (and that is what it means to me) but now full retirement age is 67! or even 70! We are living longer and working longer. Of course, more women are living longer than more men but that's another article. There are a lot of places now that consider ME a senior at 55 and give me the senior discount!
STORY
(1) I have a sister 9 years and 5 months older than I and she has been single for more than 30 years. First single when her husband left her for a 16 yo girl (yes, really!) and then legally divorced from same husband 9 years later so he could marry same girl who was then 25 (!). My sister raised her only son by herself, fighting tooth and nail for support from her well-paid fireman husband. She didn't date because of being legally married and also due to her son (not wanting a parade of men vying for his affections/approval, nor wanting any ammo for the estranged husband on her lifestyle or reputation). She had two serious relationships in the last 20 years but neither worked out satisfactorily. Just recently she put herself on a popular dating site with explicit wants and needs for a companion (not a sex partner or marriage prospect). She got DF who is perfect in a multitude of ways, but she is not romantically nor sexually attracted to him. He so far he is satisfied with the arrangement and caters to her needs and wants without looking for a love commitment or physical involvement.
(2) The lady next door is 63 1/2 and widowed now 5 years. She was very shy about starting to date again but has been steadily seeing a man 10+ years her senior. He is different than any man she has ever known and he doesn't treat her well. He's the first man she has had sex with since her late husband died. The sex is great according to her. Their relationship has been off-and-on over the past two years. He has broken her heart several times only to come back and start it all up again. He tells her to seek out her other options (date other men who are interested) and then becomes jealous and insults her when she does. She dated one man who is very wealthy and could take care of her in style, treats her like a queen (except when he wanted to have sex with her and after she said it was too soon, he said he'd be willing to pay...!...what is wrong with men in their 70's???). Her steady guy is on lots of medications and has recently been taken off two of them. He's back in her life again and she sees a big improvement. Maybe it has been the combination of meds that has made him so "bipolar!" but we'll have to wait and see on that.
(3) And then there's me...55...educated...full-figured...energetic...diverse interests/experiences..healthy sexual appetite. What do I find? Men who want one-night-stands or fall madly in love with me and I feel nothing or I really like them and never get a second date-or-phone call-or-any communication ever again...WTF? This happens across age groups and ethnic groups. I've dated men from 25-64 and most every race. I'm so tired of searching and being disappointed.
CONCLUSION
It is a crap shoot! In my opinion, you have nothing to lose in putting yourself out there, whether it's online or in real life. The only condition is that you have to be willing to accept love into your life. If you send good thoughts and wishes out into the universe, you will draw good things to you. Whether you pray or meditate, do morning and evening affirmations, write down your wants and needs, build a dream board or let go and let God...sooner or later, you will find someone right for you. My wish for you is that you recognize them when they come along!! Happy dating!
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
OUTBACK: PART DEUX
PREFACE
Two weeks ago I went to dinner with AW at Outback. I was running late and called him on my way to the restaurant which is only considerate. I was 20 minutes late which might have sent many men into a tantrum but AW was cool with it. He's easy-going, polite, attentive, and attractive. So why wouldn't I give him a chance to make me happy?
STORY
I am not physically attracted to him. There...I said it. I can't imagine myself having sex with him. Women can say this. Men can think about having sex with any woman (they make a multitude of jokes about it) or go through with sex with a woman while thinking of another woman (not saying that women don't do this too). Women think too much. We over-think everything, most of the time. It is our un-doing!
The first red flag was his statement that he just wanted to go to dinner and not a movie, because he didn't want to share the time with a movie. Meaning that he wanted no distractions from concentrating his attention on me. He just wants to cuddle with me. To watch a movie at my house and just "chill" with a pizza would make him happy. Starting to sound too familiar.
CONCLUSION
So I was going to tell him that he shouldn't waste any more time pursuing me. But maybe he wants to...waste his time. I am too nice. There are numerous women who would have him take them to dinner, movies, expensive shows, concerts, and spend, spend, spend...not me. I like him but he doesn't stimulate me intellectually.
Two weeks ago I went to dinner with AW at Outback. I was running late and called him on my way to the restaurant which is only considerate. I was 20 minutes late which might have sent many men into a tantrum but AW was cool with it. He's easy-going, polite, attentive, and attractive. So why wouldn't I give him a chance to make me happy?
STORY
I am not physically attracted to him. There...I said it. I can't imagine myself having sex with him. Women can say this. Men can think about having sex with any woman (they make a multitude of jokes about it) or go through with sex with a woman while thinking of another woman (not saying that women don't do this too). Women think too much. We over-think everything, most of the time. It is our un-doing!
The first red flag was his statement that he just wanted to go to dinner and not a movie, because he didn't want to share the time with a movie. Meaning that he wanted no distractions from concentrating his attention on me. He just wants to cuddle with me. To watch a movie at my house and just "chill" with a pizza would make him happy. Starting to sound too familiar.
CONCLUSION
So I was going to tell him that he shouldn't waste any more time pursuing me. But maybe he wants to...waste his time. I am too nice. There are numerous women who would have him take them to dinner, movies, expensive shows, concerts, and spend, spend, spend...not me. I like him but he doesn't stimulate me intellectually.
Monday, November 09, 2009
JOINED eHARMONY AGAIN!!
PREFACE
I can't explain it and after the post in October. I really haven't gotten any good results and feel that it's good money thrown after bad, but I still became a paying member AGAIN! $20/month for three months, then if I want to continue (to be a masochist), it costs $30/mo. RIGHT! Like I want to pay MORE not to find someone right for me. Please! Someone...stop the bleeding (of my wallet) before I join again!
STORY
So I had just gotten over the FREE WEEKEND in October when eHarmony allowed free communication for six days! The longest I can ever recall them doing without their "money grubbing." I don't begrudge them a profit but I'm sure they are all millionaires many times over. I just don't understand their need for greed while lying through their teeth that they are so concerned about their clients and matching 'like' people so that they are lifelong relationships, and blah, blah, blah.... Anyway, back to my experience...this time...
As soon as I paid for my membership, the matches slowed down to a trickle. I was getting 4-6 matches a day while NOT paying. Now I'm getting an average of 2 per day. I had a backlog of over 40 matches clogging my match page, so I spent hours going through them to review, decide to eliminate or contact, and then close out those I wasn't interested in or who had never replied to my contact. About 2% of the matches were no longer on the site...deleted by management or themselves.
Yes, there are some sleazy men who will pay $60/month or more to entice unsuspecting women into their schemes. Some have multiple profiles and many different approaches. This is not exclusive to eHarmony but the money invested makes these slime particularly reprehensible. These are men that never learned the basic lessons in kindergarten. Run! do not walk, to the nearest lighted area, where there are crowds, and policemen!
So I've been paying now since Friday and I had a backlog of matches to go through. I hadn't checked my profile or matches since before Halloween so I had about 40 new matches and 20 older ones, varying from old to really old ("why are you hanging on to the hope that he will ever check his profile again?" kind of old). It took me several hours to go through and review each match, decide to communicate or to close out the match, or to NUDGE them one more time since I was a paying member again. You can't see each other's pictures if one of you isn't a paying member. So you can flirt (Icebreakers they call them on eHarmony) but no pics, no controlled communication, no nothing. Kind of like waving back at someone on a passing train.
So now I could see pictures along with reading their profile. I reject for sparsity of words. I mean come on! a man could spend more than 5 minutes to fill out his profile if he were really looking for something meaningful. I reject for golfers...but that's just me (already been widowed once, thank you). I reject for distance most of the time, unless the profile is really outstanding...and then the picture is attractive to me...I will make an exception here and there. I am spiritual and in touch with my concept of a higher power, but will reject a man who is steeped in dogma (organized religion can be used as an excuse to control...and I really run away from control freaks!).
CONCLUSION
So now I've weeded through 60-70 profiles, some in review of previous interest which now has a picture to enhance (or not) the chemistry of my interest. I have 9 left that I have communicated to; one of which has communicated once with me and I, twice with him. Awaiting a reply. Thank goodness this is not the only dating service I use. I can't imagine myself as I was in the beginning, almost 7 years ago, sticking to only one service, one method and letting it drain my wallet dry. I have two other services that are free from which I get lots of opportunities. More on them in a later post. I'm giving it one more try. What's $20/month? Two trips to the movie theater? one dinner out? I remain...the eternal optimist :)
I can't explain it and after the post in October. I really haven't gotten any good results and feel that it's good money thrown after bad, but I still became a paying member AGAIN! $20/month for three months, then if I want to continue (to be a masochist), it costs $30/mo. RIGHT! Like I want to pay MORE not to find someone right for me. Please! Someone...stop the bleeding (of my wallet) before I join again!
STORY
So I had just gotten over the FREE WEEKEND in October when eHarmony allowed free communication for six days! The longest I can ever recall them doing without their "money grubbing." I don't begrudge them a profit but I'm sure they are all millionaires many times over. I just don't understand their need for greed while lying through their teeth that they are so concerned about their clients and matching 'like' people so that they are lifelong relationships, and blah, blah, blah.... Anyway, back to my experience...this time...
As soon as I paid for my membership, the matches slowed down to a trickle. I was getting 4-6 matches a day while NOT paying. Now I'm getting an average of 2 per day. I had a backlog of over 40 matches clogging my match page, so I spent hours going through them to review, decide to eliminate or contact, and then close out those I wasn't interested in or who had never replied to my contact. About 2% of the matches were no longer on the site...deleted by management or themselves.
Yes, there are some sleazy men who will pay $60/month or more to entice unsuspecting women into their schemes. Some have multiple profiles and many different approaches. This is not exclusive to eHarmony but the money invested makes these slime particularly reprehensible. These are men that never learned the basic lessons in kindergarten. Run! do not walk, to the nearest lighted area, where there are crowds, and policemen!
So I've been paying now since Friday and I had a backlog of matches to go through. I hadn't checked my profile or matches since before Halloween so I had about 40 new matches and 20 older ones, varying from old to really old ("why are you hanging on to the hope that he will ever check his profile again?" kind of old). It took me several hours to go through and review each match, decide to communicate or to close out the match, or to NUDGE them one more time since I was a paying member again. You can't see each other's pictures if one of you isn't a paying member. So you can flirt (Icebreakers they call them on eHarmony) but no pics, no controlled communication, no nothing. Kind of like waving back at someone on a passing train.
So now I could see pictures along with reading their profile. I reject for sparsity of words. I mean come on! a man could spend more than 5 minutes to fill out his profile if he were really looking for something meaningful. I reject for golfers...but that's just me (already been widowed once, thank you). I reject for distance most of the time, unless the profile is really outstanding...and then the picture is attractive to me...I will make an exception here and there. I am spiritual and in touch with my concept of a higher power, but will reject a man who is steeped in dogma (organized religion can be used as an excuse to control...and I really run away from control freaks!).
CONCLUSION
So now I've weeded through 60-70 profiles, some in review of previous interest which now has a picture to enhance (or not) the chemistry of my interest. I have 9 left that I have communicated to; one of which has communicated once with me and I, twice with him. Awaiting a reply. Thank goodness this is not the only dating service I use. I can't imagine myself as I was in the beginning, almost 7 years ago, sticking to only one service, one method and letting it drain my wallet dry. I have two other services that are free from which I get lots of opportunities. More on them in a later post. I'm giving it one more try. What's $20/month? Two trips to the movie theater? one dinner out? I remain...the eternal optimist :)
Friday, August 14, 2009
10 DAYS TO BLISS
Now that I finally know that BT is coming on the 24th, I almost can't stand the wait. 10 days and counting!
He and I met online (8/20/05) through AmericanSingles.com when I was a paying member after he sent me the first contact email. This was just before Hurricane Katrina brushed Florida and went on to demolish New Orleans. He had been divorced a couple years and was living in Santo Domingo in the Dominican Republic. Originally from the Boston area, he was GM of a plant in Santo Domingo. He would fly every two weeks to Boston to visit with his three children and would fly through Miami International Airport.
The first time I met him, was during one of his layovers at MIA. We had been emailing and IM'g for about ten days before he had a 90 minute stop at MIA and wanted to meet me. Through a series of mis-communications (something that seems to plague us throughout our relationship), I was in the wrong area of the airport and my cellphone was useless to call him. I finally found him and was so upset at all the time that was wasted that I cried. He was so gentle and caring...he took me aside to a spot that was more private, and he held me, hugged me, and then we kissed (monumental, fireworks, earthshaking...WOW kisses!). We did this for about 15 minutes before they called for his flight to Boston. I walked him to his gate and watched him until he disappeared from view. That was the first of many short encounters, with long separations and some emails and IMs in between.
April 2007, we spent 48 hours in a hotel room across from Miami Airport. The longest time we had had together in two years of brief encounters and long silences. BT had been assigned additional plants to supervise, one in Honduras. I was very worried about his safety. I decided to tell him that I loved him and let him off the hook about telling me back. I just wanted him to know that I loved him. I emailed him while he was in flight that I was afraid that I had scared him by telling him. He emailed me that telling me hadn't scared him, it had only made him want to be back with me even more than before. Then I didn't hear a word from him for three months! No email replies, no IM replies. I was so worried that something had happened and no one there knew to notify me about it. I finally emailed his work email and got a response. One that ripped my guts out. He had found someone in SD and they had been seeing each other for two months! I cried for three days. I was devastated. I had finally found that I could love someone after losing George, only to lose that love to someone more convenient...a local. It took me a long time to recover.
August 2008, I received an email from BT after more than a year of silence. He was re-establishing contact with me at one of the lowest times in my life. I wasn't able to meet with him as he flew through MIA (I had no transportation at the time and was living in a spare room at my sister's). His company had cut back on travel expenses and he only flew to Boston every six weeks or so, if then. He was traveling much more for business than to visit his kids. In one of his emails he said it was nice to know he had such a good friend "with benefits" in Florida. We IM'd and emailed, signing with 'Love ya.' Then we met in May 2009 for a short encounter during a layover at Orlando Airport. I still love him and will take what ever pleasure I can get from his company. Life is short...life is good.
He and I met online (8/20/05) through AmericanSingles.com when I was a paying member after he sent me the first contact email. This was just before Hurricane Katrina brushed Florida and went on to demolish New Orleans. He had been divorced a couple years and was living in Santo Domingo in the Dominican Republic. Originally from the Boston area, he was GM of a plant in Santo Domingo. He would fly every two weeks to Boston to visit with his three children and would fly through Miami International Airport.
The first time I met him, was during one of his layovers at MIA. We had been emailing and IM'g for about ten days before he had a 90 minute stop at MIA and wanted to meet me. Through a series of mis-communications (something that seems to plague us throughout our relationship), I was in the wrong area of the airport and my cellphone was useless to call him. I finally found him and was so upset at all the time that was wasted that I cried. He was so gentle and caring...he took me aside to a spot that was more private, and he held me, hugged me, and then we kissed (monumental, fireworks, earthshaking...WOW kisses!). We did this for about 15 minutes before they called for his flight to Boston. I walked him to his gate and watched him until he disappeared from view. That was the first of many short encounters, with long separations and some emails and IMs in between.
April 2007, we spent 48 hours in a hotel room across from Miami Airport. The longest time we had had together in two years of brief encounters and long silences. BT had been assigned additional plants to supervise, one in Honduras. I was very worried about his safety. I decided to tell him that I loved him and let him off the hook about telling me back. I just wanted him to know that I loved him. I emailed him while he was in flight that I was afraid that I had scared him by telling him. He emailed me that telling me hadn't scared him, it had only made him want to be back with me even more than before. Then I didn't hear a word from him for three months! No email replies, no IM replies. I was so worried that something had happened and no one there knew to notify me about it. I finally emailed his work email and got a response. One that ripped my guts out. He had found someone in SD and they had been seeing each other for two months! I cried for three days. I was devastated. I had finally found that I could love someone after losing George, only to lose that love to someone more convenient...a local. It took me a long time to recover.
August 2008, I received an email from BT after more than a year of silence. He was re-establishing contact with me at one of the lowest times in my life. I wasn't able to meet with him as he flew through MIA (I had no transportation at the time and was living in a spare room at my sister's). His company had cut back on travel expenses and he only flew to Boston every six weeks or so, if then. He was traveling much more for business than to visit his kids. In one of his emails he said it was nice to know he had such a good friend "with benefits" in Florida. We IM'd and emailed, signing with 'Love ya.' Then we met in May 2009 for a short encounter during a layover at Orlando Airport. I still love him and will take what ever pleasure I can get from his company. Life is short...life is good.
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
THE GRIP
I pretty much missed all day Monday. I was sick from Sunday night until Tuesday Afternoon. I had what I can only describe as THE GRIP. It's an ailment where you are gripped in pain, (like in the the closed hand of a giant). I haven't had any contact with any humans (other than the groc store once) since Friday, when I went to dinner alone. So I didn't catch anything. It started on Sunday night with intestinal distress (major gas pains and bloating) then progressed yesterday with joint pain, then fever and chills and all over aches and skin tenderness. I WAS A MESS! I'm much better now. I call it The Grip because that is what my parents called it when I was younger. I have only had it two or three times in my life and it usually only lasts 24 hours. Some may call it the 24 hour flu, but in my family it was THE GRIP. (I really HATE being sick! but sometimes your body just does it to slow you down some.)
And having told you all that, I actually made two relationship contacts over the last two days, amazing as that might seem. An old flame (B) contacted me and the flicker started a bonfire in my loins, as usual. I hear from him about twice a year now, only slightly less than when we were first involved. Long-distance relationships are doomed if they are started as long distance. I think there might be more hope for an established relationship going long distance, but I have no experience in that area. Anyone like to share their stories? I would be very interested to know how your long distance love affairs are going (have gone). Anyway, after the initial erotic shockwave wore off, I sent him an email back that might stop him from replying. It hurts my heart and soul to think that there is a chance for us, a chance for more, a chance that he means it when he says he loves me...but I have been disappointed twice. I do not know if I could take another hit emotionally from him. It is brutal when you love someone and all they feel is the heat.
The second contact (T) was on Monday and is new. He invited me out on our first meeting for Tuesday in an email with his phone number included. Usually I wait until I have enough guts to call a man (takes a while for me because I am shy). But in this case I knew I was under the weather and probably would not feel well enough to meet the next day. So I called him and we had a very pleasant chat. And then he called me Tuesday twice, and we had some more good conversation. I will reserve judgment for a while because he is a car salesman. I swore off car salesmen last November. I have never met one that can be trusted. They lie for a living. He lies for a living. But I will be friends with him, and we will take it from there.
And having told you all that, I actually made two relationship contacts over the last two days, amazing as that might seem. An old flame (B) contacted me and the flicker started a bonfire in my loins, as usual. I hear from him about twice a year now, only slightly less than when we were first involved. Long-distance relationships are doomed if they are started as long distance. I think there might be more hope for an established relationship going long distance, but I have no experience in that area. Anyone like to share their stories? I would be very interested to know how your long distance love affairs are going (have gone). Anyway, after the initial erotic shockwave wore off, I sent him an email back that might stop him from replying. It hurts my heart and soul to think that there is a chance for us, a chance for more, a chance that he means it when he says he loves me...but I have been disappointed twice. I do not know if I could take another hit emotionally from him. It is brutal when you love someone and all they feel is the heat.
The second contact (T) was on Monday and is new. He invited me out on our first meeting for Tuesday in an email with his phone number included. Usually I wait until I have enough guts to call a man (takes a while for me because I am shy). But in this case I knew I was under the weather and probably would not feel well enough to meet the next day. So I called him and we had a very pleasant chat. And then he called me Tuesday twice, and we had some more good conversation. I will reserve judgment for a while because he is a car salesman. I swore off car salesmen last November. I have never met one that can be trusted. They lie for a living. He lies for a living. But I will be friends with him, and we will take it from there.
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