WHY BOTHER, T?

Got a phone call and voice mail today from T finally. He said "I wanted to call and say hi. We had a good time, didn't we?" That was it. No, "call me back" or "Sorry I didn't call sooner" and then an excuse as to why, "I'd like to see you again." My instincts were correct (as they usually are) and all he wanted was sex. He made contact frequently to facilitate interest on my part and a meeting. I'm too blasted honest about sex and what I want for my own good. Do I have to tell a man when I expect him to call me? Like, "I expect you to call me, no later than tomorrow, to tell me how much you enjoyed my company." Are men this insensitive? YES! Are men this unappreciative? YES!

TWO WEEKS he waits to call me! Which planet does this man come from? As I said in the earlier post, I didn't expect anything more than this, so I'm not disappointed. But I wish I had been pleasantly surprised instead. Se la vie!

A LITTLE SUMP'M SUMP'M

Well I went to the dance Saturday night at the Pavillion and I met T there. He looks like his pictures (thank you). He had called me every day, sometimes more, since we first talked on the phone, after IM'g and emails. We talked for quite a while but didn't dance, because I picked the WRONG shoes to pack and already had a blister on each heel from walking around the dance floor twice looking for him. I was in agony. Sitting was good.

I thought he was leaning in to give me a kiss but he rubbed noses instead. He said he started with that to see how good I could give 'nose'. Cute. He held my hand and put his arm around my waist. We talked and laughed and he wanted to know if I was going to invite him back to my hotel room. If so, he'd have another drink, but if not, the hour and a half drive home would not be safe if he did. We were getting along very well so I said 'yes, we could go back to my hotel.' and 'yes, to another drink'. We spent about 3 hours at the dance. We went back to the room and I was starving, so I ordered a pizza (which he was impressed with, since he comes from NJ and wasn't expecting it to be good). The sex was ok. It was intimate, but not fulfilling for me. It was nice to have someone with which to share the luxury of the hotel room. My plan was to not have sex with him for at least 5 dates, but I needed the human contact and I figured this wouldn't be long term. Get what enjoyment you can.

It's early Thursday morning and T hasn't called me since Sunday morning when he left to drive home to Vero Beach. I would have thought he'd call me when he got home, or that night to see if I got home, or maybe Monday while he was working to say what a good time he had. But nothing, not even an email. I didn't really expect it either. Car salesmen = one night stand (nothing more).

THE GRIP

I pretty much missed all day Monday. I was sick from Sunday night until Tuesday Afternoon. I had what I can only describe as THE GRIP. It's an ailment where you are gripped in pain, (like in the the closed hand of a giant). I haven't had any contact with any humans (other than the groc store once) since Friday, when I went to dinner alone. So I didn't catch anything. It started on Sunday night with intestinal distress (major gas pains and bloating) then progressed yesterday with joint pain, then fever and chills and all over aches and skin tenderness. I WAS A MESS! I'm much better now. I call it The Grip because that is what my parents called it when I was younger. I have only had it two or three times in my life and it usually only lasts 24 hours. Some may call it the 24 hour flu, but in my family it was THE GRIP. (I really HATE being sick! but sometimes your body just does it to slow you down some.)

And having told you all that, I actually made two relationship contacts over the last two days, amazing as that might seem. An old flame (B) contacted me and the flicker started a bonfire in my loins, as usual. I hear from him about twice a year now, only slightly less than when we were first involved. Long-distance relationships are doomed if they are started as long distance. I think there might be more hope for an established relationship going long distance, but I have no experience in that area. Anyone like to share their stories? I would be very interested to know how your long distance love affairs are going (have gone). Anyway, after the initial erotic shockwave wore off, I sent him an email back that might stop him from replying. It hurts my heart and soul to think that there is a chance for us, a chance for more, a chance that he means it when he says he loves me...but I have been disappointed twice. I do not know if I could take another hit emotionally from him. It is brutal when you love someone and all they feel is the heat.

The second contact (T) was on Monday and is new. He invited me out on our first meeting for Tuesday in an email with his phone number included. Usually I wait until I have enough guts to call a man (takes a while for me because I am shy). But in this case I knew I was under the weather and probably would not feel well enough to meet the next day. So I called him and we had a very pleasant chat. And then he called me Tuesday twice, and we had some more good conversation. I will reserve judgment for a while because he is a car salesman. I swore off car salesmen last November. I have never met one that can be trusted. They lie for a living. He lies for a living. But I will be friends with him, and we will take it from there.