RETIREMENT AGE DATING

PREFACE
I have to qualify the title "Retirement Age Dating" to what it means to me at this point in time. It means those single women and men just short of or at retirement age. Now retirement age use to mean 65 (and that is what it means to me) but now full retirement age is 67! or even 70! We are living longer and working longer. Of course, more women are living longer than more men but that's another article. There are a lot of places now that consider ME a senior at 55 and give me the senior discount!

STORY
(1) I have a sister 9 years and 5 months older than I and she has been single for more than 30 years. First single when her husband left her for a 16 yo girl (yes, really!) and then legally divorced from same husband 9 years later so he could marry same girl who was then 25 (!).  My sister raised her only son by herself, fighting tooth and nail for support from her well-paid fireman husband. She didn't date because of being legally married and also due to her son (not wanting a parade of men vying for his affections/approval, nor wanting any ammo for the estranged husband on her lifestyle or reputation). She had two serious relationships in the last 20 years but neither worked out satisfactorily. Just recently she put herself on a popular dating site with explicit wants and needs for a companion (not a sex partner or marriage prospect). She got DF who is perfect in a multitude of ways, but she is not romantically nor sexually attracted to him. He so far he is satisfied with the arrangement and caters to her needs and wants without looking for a love commitment or physical involvement.
(2) The lady next door is 63 1/2 and widowed now 5 years. She was very shy about starting to date again but has been steadily seeing a man 10+ years her senior. He is different than any man she has ever known and he doesn't treat her well. He's the first man she has had sex with since her late husband died. The sex is great according to her. Their relationship has been off-and-on over the past two years. He has broken her heart several times only to come back and start it all up again. He tells her to seek out her other options (date other men who are interested) and then becomes jealous and insults her when she does. She dated one man who is very wealthy and could take care of her in style, treats her like a queen (except when he wanted to have sex with her and after she said it was too soon, he said he'd be willing to pay...!...what is wrong with men in their 70's???). Her steady guy is on lots of medications and has recently been taken off two of them. He's back in her life again and she sees a big improvement. Maybe it has been the combination of meds that has made him so "bipolar!" but we'll have to wait and see on that.
(3) And then there's me...55...educated...full-figured...energetic...diverse interests/experiences..healthy sexual appetite. What do I find? Men who want one-night-stands or fall madly in love with me and I feel nothing or I really like them and never get a second date-or-phone call-or-any communication ever again...WTF? This happens across age groups and ethnic groups. I've dated men from 25-64 and most every race. I'm so tired of searching and being disappointed.

CONCLUSION
It is a crap shoot! In my opinion, you have nothing to lose in putting yourself out there, whether it's online or in real life. The only condition is that you have to be willing to accept love into your life. If you send good thoughts and wishes out into the universe, you will draw good things to you. Whether you pray or meditate, do morning and evening affirmations, write down your wants and needs, build a dream board or let go and let God...sooner or later, you will find someone right for you. My wish for you is that you recognize them when they come along!! Happy dating!

WHY BOTHER, T?

Got a phone call and voice mail today from T finally. He said "I wanted to call and say hi. We had a good time, didn't we?" That was it. No, "call me back" or "Sorry I didn't call sooner" and then an excuse as to why, "I'd like to see you again." My instincts were correct (as they usually are) and all he wanted was sex. He made contact frequently to facilitate interest on my part and a meeting. I'm too blasted honest about sex and what I want for my own good. Do I have to tell a man when I expect him to call me? Like, "I expect you to call me, no later than tomorrow, to tell me how much you enjoyed my company." Are men this insensitive? YES! Are men this unappreciative? YES!

TWO WEEKS he waits to call me! Which planet does this man come from? As I said in the earlier post, I didn't expect anything more than this, so I'm not disappointed. But I wish I had been pleasantly surprised instead. Se la vie!

A LITTLE SUMP'M SUMP'M

Well I went to the dance Saturday night at the Pavillion and I met T there. He looks like his pictures (thank you). He had called me every day, sometimes more, since we first talked on the phone, after IM'g and emails. We talked for quite a while but didn't dance, because I picked the WRONG shoes to pack and already had a blister on each heel from walking around the dance floor twice looking for him. I was in agony. Sitting was good.

I thought he was leaning in to give me a kiss but he rubbed noses instead. He said he started with that to see how good I could give 'nose'. Cute. He held my hand and put his arm around my waist. We talked and laughed and he wanted to know if I was going to invite him back to my hotel room. If so, he'd have another drink, but if not, the hour and a half drive home would not be safe if he did. We were getting along very well so I said 'yes, we could go back to my hotel.' and 'yes, to another drink'. We spent about 3 hours at the dance. We went back to the room and I was starving, so I ordered a pizza (which he was impressed with, since he comes from NJ and wasn't expecting it to be good). The sex was ok. It was intimate, but not fulfilling for me. It was nice to have someone with which to share the luxury of the hotel room. My plan was to not have sex with him for at least 5 dates, but I needed the human contact and I figured this wouldn't be long term. Get what enjoyment you can.

It's early Thursday morning and T hasn't called me since Sunday morning when he left to drive home to Vero Beach. I would have thought he'd call me when he got home, or that night to see if I got home, or maybe Monday while he was working to say what a good time he had. But nothing, not even an email. I didn't really expect it either. Car salesmen = one night stand (nothing more).