WHAT IS IMPORTANT ABOUT BELONGINGS?

PREFACE

The story of my life is that I have very few things that spark strong memory. I have lost so many "things" through my life from mostly moving. My collection of things gets smaller and smaller every time I move these days. 

STORY

At one time, I had ONLY what I was carrying on my back, in a backpack, with my sleeping bag lashed to it! (1980) I had left a box with my brother of just keepsakes and took off hitchhiking from the Eastern Shore of Maryland to Tampa, FL. I was 24. I don't even remember if I ever got that box back from Jimmy. I walked away from my first marriage, my first house, my first love (?). We had met when I was 13 and practically lived at the skating rink. He was a floor guard and 5 years older. When we got back together, after my mom died and I left my dad's house at 17, I was pregnant. I had turned 18, he lived with his mother, supporting her, and I moved in, much to her disapproval. I gave up that child for adoption and for a prospect of a better life. I worked to get a house built and to move out of his mother's house. I established my first household at 19, all on my own (with my new husband). A year and a half later, I left him, took half of everything and moved into a trailer. I wanted children, he never would.

I moved a few times before ending up in a mobile home. When things got real bad (no money, no heat @ Christmas), my boyfriend and I sold my pickup, bought "on the road" equipment from Army/Navy and headed to Tampa, Florida, to his sister's place. Only what we could carry on our backs and light weight was imperative. We didn't go for the sub-zero lining because it weighed too much! When we camped on the side of a mountain, in 29 degrees, in January, I re-thought that decision.

I collected many, many things after meeting and marrying George. His parents died within a year of moving and consolidating their North and South homes. We inherited two households! They were combined with the household I had set up in my deceased parents home, which had also absorbed my father's warehouse contents after he passed. I was living in a tri-level house, 4 BR, 2 1/2 baths, double garage with 4 complete households. There were aisles to get from the front door to the kitchen, MBR, and upstairs. The stuff was piled so high you couldn't see over it! It was like living in a furniture store! So I have lived in THAT, and I've had only what I could carry on my back. 

After many yard sales, and moving 4 times in 3 years, we settled in a townhouse (3BR/2.5B) and lived there for 19 years. Then I became a widow. My child grew up and moved out to start their own life. Then I moved into my sister's and had to whittle down my belongings (storing an eighth of what I had) and then moved a year later, into a 3BR/2B with a single garage. I got to empty my storage unit! I inherited the former resident's furniture, clothes, kitchen, and folded in my few belongings left. I made my home there for 5 years. Then I had to leave because the owner went into foreclosure, and again I had to consolidate, donate, and sell. I had two weeks to consolidate what I couldn't donate or sell. I once again used a storage unit for the antiques, important papers, my artwork, collectibles and as much as I could save and fit into that unit. It stayed there for 8 YEARS! I only visited it half a dozen times. I DIDN'T NEED THAT STUFF! I moved in with my sister again. I've lived in her converted garage since April 2014. I only emptied my storage unit in Feb 2022. I folded in what I could into my room, some in the shed, and some in the empty stall in the barn. 

CONCLUSION

I am trying to go through all of it, get rid of some by donating or trashing. It's very hard to let go of things you have lived with for 30 or 40 years. Things you have dusted and filled and emptied and moved so many times that they are integrated into your daily life. This last purge was VERY HARD for me because there was an traumatic incident that prevented me from getting all the things that I wanted to save. It was like a flood came and took them away. But belongings don't matter, as long as you have people (and cats) who love you.

4 DAYS 'TIL SUMMER!

PREFACE
Summer in south Florida started in March! Truth be told, we've had a few days this spring that were quite nice. Below 70 degrees even. But when you're 8 inches from the sun, SUMMER is half the year.

STORY
Having lived most of my life in south Florida, I'm not surprised that it is over 80 degrees on April 2nd. But when it gets to be June, it's over 90 degrees every day! And that is just the thermometer reading, not factoring in the humidity over 80% most days and lack of cloud cover (read as "sun beating down relentlessly"). I remember half a dozen days in the summer being over 100! when I was a kid. I remember downtown flooding "because it's near impossible to drain sea level" and more than 2 days of straight rain causes flooding. There's no place for water to go 'down' when you're at sea level!

What is surprising to me is to look at the rest of the country and their weather. My son lives in Madison, WI and today it was 74 degrees there. My nephew lives in San Francisco, CA and it was  70. There are other places to live besides here! The only problem is that THEY have their extremes too. Where I can't live is a place where it gets colder than freezing (32 degrees F), or I can't see the sky most of the year (gray, cloud covered, low hanging sky is SO DEPRESSING!), nor a place that has lots of tornadoes. I need to be close to water (even if it's not the ocean, which is preferred). Now that the sea level is rising, HERE is not a good place to live.

CONCLUSION
We've been looking at Georgia and South Carolina for places to live. It's hard for my sister because she's got so much history here (50 years in the same house, this year). She has connections to the community. (And she HATES change.) I'm not so rooted.

I have lived with my sister for the past 5 years. I know that due to my income and PTSD, that I'm not likely to move out and get my own place. Where ever she decides will be a good place for her, will be fine with me. I can eBay from anywhere. I'm retired, so no job to sever myself from. My friends have moved away or I moved away from them. Most of my friends are now online, more than in person. I can live anywhere. I would just like to live somewhere that it doesn't feel like I just walked into HELL's front door when I walk out my front door!

WHAT I HAVE TO LEARN...

PREFACE
As the title addresses, what I have to learn...is a lot. I am always learning and hungry to learn. Sometimes the lesson is not so easy to identify. We go through good times and bad times and we should learn something from both, but bad times are harder to substantiate with a lesson. Our reality is made by our thoughts, so we are responsible for both the good and bad. Most people do not want to accept this premise.

STORY
I have recently gone through much change in my life. Experienced trauma in several different ways and I've had to work towards resolving what is the "now" of my life. In April of this year, I was forced out of my long-term housing (5 years in a house and location that I loved!) and had to humbly move back in with my sister. I am exceedingly grateful to her for her generosity because it is a terrible imposition and disruption of her life and home. During this vacation of my home, I broke my leg! The first broken bone of my lifetime. LESSON: I should have started sooner to pack and disseminate all my belongings of 30 years of accumulation, gotten a storage unit, and stored all that I could before it came down to a deadline.

After moving 140 miles to my sister's, and my broken leg healed, I caught a respiratory infection from visiting a cancer treatment center with a family friend who was going through chemotherapy. I was sick for 8 weeks! LESSON: ALWAYS wash your hands and sanitize while visiting a hospital/medical center! WEAR a mask if possible too! And keep your immune system strong (I had run out of most of my supplements that I regularly take to keep my health at optimum.)

I had been sick with coughing, low grade fever, and general exhaustion for 6 weeks before I went to the clinic for evaluation/treatment. I HATE modern medicine and was treating myself with remedies but needed an antibiotic to kick this bug out of me. I had almost healed when my sister gave it back to me again, and I just couldn't fight it off the second round. LESSON: Keep your immune system at optimum.

In one week in October, my family lost two dear family friends and our 19 year old cat. Three deaths within four days. Dan (74) died Wednesday night from complications of cancer treatment, Barry (67) died Tuesday from a heart attack, and Snowball (19 = 92 human years) died in his sleep of old age (warranty on all the parts ran out). This was HELL week for my sister and me. LESSON: Appreciate every day you are given. It's a gift, don't waste it. Tell your loved ones you love them every day.

Dan (1940-2014)

Barry (1947-2014)

Snowball (1995-2014)

CONCLUSION
The lessons we are presented with will be presented again and again, if we don't learn from them. I am very bad at meeting deadlines. It's a control thing and I have to get over it. I need to take better care of my health, especially when I'm depressed and overwhelmed. Many difficult times are hard to explain at the time, but great things will come out of tough times if you are open to seeing them, open to positive thoughts about the future. Embrace the present, enjoy your loved ones, and seek joy everyday!

MOVING DISASTER

PREFACE: 

I wish the best to all of you having to move by choice but please APPRECIATE anyone who is helping you! I just had to vacate my (5 year) rental due to my landlord lost the house in foreclosure and it was auctioned in January. So that means I moved NOT by choice. My 2/2 with 1 car garage was holding the accumulated possessions of 20 years with my late husband, momentos of my son growing up, 14+ years of crafting and fine arts, ongoing eBay sales items, and 10 years of teaching (student work) at college level. I had 60 days to whittle down the mass, pack and store it all...or get rid of it. NOT enough time doing it by myself! 

DISASTER STORY: 

The last night of moving belongings into a rented UHaul (by myself) ended in a bad step off the back of the truck as I BEGAN to unload this last load into the storage unit. I fell 4 1/2 feet and landed on my right foot, hearing a loud POP in my knee, crumbling down to try to catch myself with my left leg twisting my ankle, down...down...down landing just above my tailbone and then hitting the back of my head on the parking lot blacktop. Laying there for 20 minutes, crying from the pain, in a puddle with a light rain falling on me...not knowing what damage I'd done...the storage facility now closed to incoming traffic...I was completely alone, with a full moving truck to be unloaded! I finally limped and hopped my way back to the cab of the truck, crawled up into it, welcoming the heater available as it was dropping to 59 degrees rapidly! and my cellphone! I called everyone I knew within 50 miles and got mostly voicemail response. It was 9:30 on a Tuesday night. One of my friends said he'd come and bring others to help when I refused to call an ambulance. He came, with a friend and they both unloaded my truck. I couldn't walk but could press the gas pedal to drive the truck back to the house again for the things I had left for last minute loading into my car and distribution to others. They loaded up my UHaul truck again, and unloaded it again into my storage unit. THAT is true friendship!

At 2 a.m., I drove myself to the ER, used a Rubbermaid two-step ladder as a walker, and after x-rays found out I had broken my leg. I spent the next 8 hours in ER, getting pain shots and pills so they could straighten my leg to put a splint brace on. They released me to another friend to drive me away from the hospital, not that I was letting that happen. I had her drive me to my car and I drove to her house (up 2 flights of stairs! where the rest of my stuff was & my cat!). I was moving that day to my sister's house 140 miles south. I had already told her not to drive up to get me, I wasn't towing my car down, that I was capable of driving (with both feet), and would arrive later that day.

I am now recuperating with family in a spare room with all that I could pack into my subcompact Toyota. I had to suspend all my online selling, my artwork, and my crafting until I am (literally) on my feet again. Moving doesn't suck, it is a gut-wrenching life event that is like losing a loved one, especially if you aren't in charge of the decision. At this point, 17 days later, I don't know what I saved and stored and what was left to scavengers and the landfill. I have flashbacks about items that I'm not sure I still have in one place or the other. It was traumatic on so many levels that it will be some time before I am able to move forward, much less create and enjoy my arts again.

RESOLUTION: I am allowing myself time to heal. Writing about it is cathartic and hopefully will help others. I am so grateful for my dear friends who helped me through this and my beloved family who is helping me heal. Things can be replaced, people cannot! As long as your move includes those you love, you can always survive.