Adventures in Flying! Happy New Year!

PREFACE
A happy, healthy, and prosperous New Year to you and yours! I had a wonderful time, once I got to Wisconsin. Adventures in flying! My flight was cancelled twice during my layover in Charlotte, N.C. and finally I was put on a flight to Dallas! and then flew into Madison, instead of Milwaukee. I left Ft. Lauderdale at 10 A.M. and didn't get into Madison until 11 P.M.! But it's all good. 

STORY
There was 7 inches of new snow on the ground and I was very thankful for my sister's snow boots and gloves. The ceremony for my son, Ian, and his bride, Erin, was informal at the courthouse. There were local friends and family there. The bride and groom's mothers were the official witnesses (me and her mother). The vows made me cry and I had no tissues, of course. The judge was friendly and funny and the ceremony was moving. Then we all went to dinner. Good times!

CONCLUSION
My son and his new bride are starting the new year out as husband and wife. My own parents chose Dec. 31st as their wedding day. I think it is a nice repeat of a tradition. I can already see that they will be much happier than my parents were. They are much more in sync and have more commonality. They remind me of my marriage to Ian's father and the soul-mate, best friend bond that we had together for 20 years. It gives me  a warm feeling in my heart and comfort that my son will have the kind of love that made him be possible. HAPPY, HEALTHY, & PROSPEROUS NEW YEAR! 2016!

MEASURING MY LIFE BY THE CATS I'VE LOVED

PREFACE
The vet that treated my cat, Milo, sent me a condolence card. It was a sweet gesture and I do appreciate it. It is never easy to lose a pet. He was diagnosed with Lymphoma two years ago August 2013. I could not afford the $300 additional chemo treatment that would only give him a possible 18 months. I decided to research natural cures and treated him myself with colloidal silver and aloe vera. The disease attacks the digestion and blocks their ability to absorb the nutrients from their food. My treatment allowed him 9 more months than the chemo promised.

STORY
I was Milo's person for the past 16 years. He came to us as a kitten (6 weeks old) and I had originally intended for him to be my son's cat. I had Molly (female brown Burmese) and my late husband had Sox (male Tuxedo, black and white). Milo spent his first few weeks sleeping in a box next to my bed at night, when he wasn't out and about getting to know our other two adult cats.

 Milo

Molly

 Sox

Milo was to be Ian's cat. Ian was 14. As it turned out, Ian was allergic to Milo's saliva and Milo liked to lick as a show of affection. Molly had no maternal tendencies toward him and attacked him repeatedly. He was a tiny kitten and could not defend himself, so I decided that Molly was to become an outside/inside cat (but mostly outside). Molly had always resented becoming an inside cat, so she was happy. Sox adopted Milo and protected him against Molly.

When we got Sox, he was a stray kitten that someone had abandoned near a friend of my sister. My sister called me to say that this kitten needed our family. We had been without a cat for a while, since our last kitten had been put down due to spinal problems, loss of use of his back legs and potty functions. Spooky was less than two years old. It was traumatic and we had gone for over a year without looking for another cat. Sox was a wonderful addition to our family. He LOVED my late husband and was a sweet, loving, adorable quirky cat. At max. weight he was 24lbs! but had a tiny little voice (mew!) like Mike Tyson. He also loved cantelope and watermelon!

Sox was about 4 months old when we got Molly. Molly was originally named Bonnie, but it didn't fit her. Her owner was going to be forced to take her to the animal shelter (to be gassed!) so I agreed to take her. I'm not partial to female cats but I didn't want her to be euthanized at seven months old! She came into our house always wanting to squip out the door to be outside. It was a constant battle. Molly knew how to open doorknobs! We had to keep the door deadbolt-locked so she couldn't get out. Molly also liked to open the side-by-side refrigerator doors (and LEAVE THEM OPEN!). We would come downstairs to find both doors standing wide open! My late husband had to devise a "lock" for the doors. He used a piece of aluminum rod, bent in a U-shape to slip over both door handles at night when we went to bed. Molly finally stopped after a few months.

All our cats have played "fetch", usually with small aluminum balls that we would fashion for them. They would run after them and bring them back to be thrown again. Molly was the most insistent. She would bring a ball and drop it on your bare foot to let you know she wanted to play fetch. They loved the sound they made on the tile floor.

Molly was the first to go. At 15 years old, arthritic and thin, she stopped eating. I force-fed her water and drops of food through the night, but she became lethargic and less responsive. I took her to animal control and had her put down. Soon after I was forced out of my house due to the landlord selling it, and I could only take one cat with me to my new living arrangements. Sox was 15 yo but in good health. I took him to the animal shelter and gave up ownership with the hope that someone would adopt a 24lb Tuxedo cat. This was in 2008 and there was a lot of animal rescue going on at that time. I hope he got a good home.

Milo was my sole companion for the past 7 years. I was his person. He saw his family go from 3 people, 2 other cats to just him and me. My son moved out on his own but couldn't take Milo due to his allergy. Milo kept me company, was very talkative, would rush to the door if someone knocked or rang the bell (like a watch-cat). He slept in my bed with me. Woke me up when it was morning (to feed him!). Milo watched TV with me sometimes and ALWAYS watched the Annual Westminster Dog Show (intently!). His favorite place to lounge was on my chest (while I watched TV, worked on the computer, or drove him in the car!). He was a total inside cat, never venturing outside.

CONCLUSION
These are just three of the cats that have populated my life, become part of my family, and owned a piece of my heart. When we take on a pet, we have to realize they have an expiration date. Lots of people don't think about a pet being with them for 15-20 years, nor about how close you can become or how involved in their lives. When it gets to the end of their life, it can become all-consuming in the daily caregiving involved, but you do it without a thought. The hardest is when you have to decide if you are being selfish and keeping them here because you can't let go. Luckily, Milo told me in his way that it was time for him to go (for me to let him go). I miss him every day but know that he is in a better place, running and chasing with Sox and Molly.

RETIREMENT AGE DATING

PREFACE
I have to qualify the title "Retirement Age Dating" to what it means to me at this point in time. It means those single women and men just short of or at retirement age. Now retirement age use to mean 65 (and that is what it means to me) but now full retirement age is 67! or even 70! We are living longer and working longer. Of course, more women are living longer than more men but that's another article. There are a lot of places now that consider ME a senior at 55 and give me the senior discount!

STORY
(1) I have a sister 9 years and 5 months older than I and she has been single for more than 30 years. First single when her husband left her for a 16 yo girl (yes, really!) and then legally divorced from same husband 9 years later so he could marry same girl who was then 25 (!).  My sister raised her only son by herself, fighting tooth and nail for support from her well-paid fireman husband. She didn't date because of being legally married and also due to her son (not wanting a parade of men vying for his affections/approval, nor wanting any ammo for the estranged husband on her lifestyle or reputation). She had two serious relationships in the last 20 years but neither worked out satisfactorily. Just recently she put herself on a popular dating site with explicit wants and needs for a companion (not a sex partner or marriage prospect). She got DF who is perfect in a multitude of ways, but she is not romantically nor sexually attracted to him. He so far he is satisfied with the arrangement and caters to her needs and wants without looking for a love commitment or physical involvement.
(2) The lady next door is 63 1/2 and widowed now 5 years. She was very shy about starting to date again but has been steadily seeing a man 10+ years her senior. He is different than any man she has ever known and he doesn't treat her well. He's the first man she has had sex with since her late husband died. The sex is great according to her. Their relationship has been off-and-on over the past two years. He has broken her heart several times only to come back and start it all up again. He tells her to seek out her other options (date other men who are interested) and then becomes jealous and insults her when she does. She dated one man who is very wealthy and could take care of her in style, treats her like a queen (except when he wanted to have sex with her and after she said it was too soon, he said he'd be willing to pay...!...what is wrong with men in their 70's???). Her steady guy is on lots of medications and has recently been taken off two of them. He's back in her life again and she sees a big improvement. Maybe it has been the combination of meds that has made him so "bipolar!" but we'll have to wait and see on that.
(3) And then there's me...55...educated...full-figured...energetic...diverse interests/experiences..healthy sexual appetite. What do I find? Men who want one-night-stands or fall madly in love with me and I feel nothing or I really like them and never get a second date-or-phone call-or-any communication ever again...WTF? This happens across age groups and ethnic groups. I've dated men from 25-64 and most every race. I'm so tired of searching and being disappointed.

CONCLUSION
It is a crap shoot! In my opinion, you have nothing to lose in putting yourself out there, whether it's online or in real life. The only condition is that you have to be willing to accept love into your life. If you send good thoughts and wishes out into the universe, you will draw good things to you. Whether you pray or meditate, do morning and evening affirmations, write down your wants and needs, build a dream board or let go and let God...sooner or later, you will find someone right for you. My wish for you is that you recognize them when they come along!! Happy dating!

LAST MINUTE, LONG-DISTANCE MAN

PREFACE
He instant messaged me, "You still love me enough to see me this weekend?" I answered, "Of course"...and then asked lots of questions...when, where, how long a stay...this was the day before a three-day weekend (Memorial Day weekend). My long-distance love was coming to visit after almost a year.

STORY
BT (54) lives in the DR and is the GM for a printing plant. Until about a week ago, he had been working for the same company for 8 years. They had finally screwed him over enough and he gave notice but not before making plans to have another job to step into, doing the same thing, in the same area, for a better company. A company that will put his old company out of business. He has a good business brain, and the rest of him is pretty awesome too(!).

SUNDAY: He flew into MIA and drove the 3 hours up to me and finally arrived late Sunday afternoon. Since my car is on its last legs, I hadn't made any plans to drive to Lauderdale to celebrate with family and friends so I was available for this tryst. It was a pleasant surprise and a wonderful 36 hours. He and I went to my bedroom almost immediately, our clothes fell off, and we got re-acquainted! We re-acquainted ourselves on Sunday afternoon/evening twice. It was 9:30PM before we knew it and all the local restaurants closed by then, even on a holiday weekend. So we ordered pizza delivery and watched a movie while we ate.

MONDAY: morning, we had sex again. I made us breakfast and we ate. Later that morning, BT asked what I'd like to do? I said I thought staying here and having sex would be just fine with me unless he had something else in mind he'd like to do. He said that would be fine with him too. :)

We talked about his plans and what happened with his old company. He said that he would be coming to Florida more now with the new job. More like 2-3 times a year, instead of once or twice. Well, any improvement would be welcome. I do love him and as a lover, he's exciting, sensual, determined, generous, patient...and appreciates me for me. Leftover pizza for lunch.

We did take a drive to the beach house. I wanted to show it to him and we needed to go out for an errand anyway. It was a pleasant drive down US1 to Wabasso, then across Rt510 to A1A and north up the beach highway. The house on Amberson Beach was still for rent and the owners weren't visiting. We peeped in through the front door and then went around the back and up the boardwalk to the beach. It was glorious being there with him, sharing my vision for the house as an artist's retreat (& Bed and Breakfast). He liked it and my ideas. We returned to my house and cuddled. I cooked dinner, we ate, watched two movies. Even though he got a monster headache and wasn't up to any sex, it was nice having him there...being with him. I let him nap with his head in my lap and I massaged his head and neck. Cared for him. We went to bed and 'spooned' all night. I don't get much sleep when he visits, since it's much easier to have sex with a man than to sleep with him. I'm just not use to it (but I love to hear him purr/snore).

TUESDAY: We showered together @ 5AM after he shaved (his head, and face-not covered with goatee). I love showering with him. He apologized for not feeling up to sex and I said it was fine. He also realized that it was caused by not having his traction gear for his neck for the past two days. It stretches his neck and he's had almost no headaches since he started using it. Then he quipped that he was aiming for 6' (he's 5'10" now)...I laughed and said that was a reachable goal.

I made him toast and coffee, we kissed one last time, and then he was off to Miami for his meeting at 9AM. He said, "love you" and I said, "I love you too," and watched him back out of the driveway and drive away down the street. All too soon.

CONCLUSION
If my sex life is to be made up of more than one man, BT certainly fills the 'being in love with no commitment' section. He sees it as Friends With Benefits and I've now started to accept that as all there is going to be. The more I see him, the more I realize that what we have, is what we have. I don't expect anything more of it. And I don't think I want anything more from it.

I continue to search...with the freedom to do so. I like that, and I get great joy from being with and seeing BT. I grab all the joy I can in my life, as it comes along.

KEEPING IT TOGETHER WHILE LOSING IT

PREFACE
Tomorrow is the first day of my goal to lose 50lbs in 10 weeks. I was inspired by watching The Diet Tribe on cable. Five women friends that vowed to lose 50lbs in four months and then compete in a triathalon. I know that I can do better than they did for several reasons.

STORY
I know that I don't have the issues these women had, I have a whole set of different issues to deal with, and I will. None of these women were over 40 years old. They had a personal trainer to instruct them and ride their asses. They were getting paid to do this project so they could afford the healthy foods. I know what it feels like to lose 50lbs and to exercise routinely producing a healthy, fit body. I remember what that feels like and I will feel that again.

I will be documenting my progress with what works for me. If this inspires anyone to try what I do/did and see if it works for them, more power to you. I am of the opinion that each person is unique and what works for me, may not work for you, and vice versa. I have tried many 'diets' and 'magic pills' and 'food plans'...all for naught. My healthy eating habits (life diet) which I have developed over the past six years have not helped me lose weight, but have maintained my weight while my activity has decreased drastically. I have become a 'lump' on the couch or I sit for hours in front of the computer. I need to greatly increase my activity level...in other words, "start working my ass off!" to achieve my weight-loss goal. I will be reporting what I eat and how I've exercised, my hits and misses, stress management, and inspiration.

CONCLUSION
If I am consuming 1200-1500 calories a day and not exercising, I cannot expect to lose weight. My body has become comfortable on reduced caloric intake. It has become comfortable at this weight and now I must make it uncomfortable. I have to use up more calories than I take in, not an easy task. My goal is at least one hour of vigorous exercise a day, with some yoga (new to me) thrown in. Ready, Set...Go!

FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL...ONLINE

PREFACE
Today I start my graduate program online. I found an accredited university that offered a near-perfect program and worked with me to resolve my academic 'issues' so that I could enroll and continue my pursuit of a Master's degree.

STORY
Back at the turn of the century (lol, love saying that) I was working on two Master's degrees at the same time, which had nothing to do with one another and none of the credits crossed over and counted in the other program. I started one in Educational Technology in 1998 and got into the second one in Fine Arts (terminal degree like a PhD) in 2000. That's when I started teaching a class as a requirement (as a Graduate Teaching Assistant or GTA). As long as you are at least half-time, you can put off payback forever (theoretically). The plan was to stay in school to avoid paying my education loans...no, not really. The plan was to get my Master's in Graphic Design and teach at the college level. The MEd was to bridge the gap between my Bachelor's in Fine Arts and being able to get into the Master's in Fine Arts. (They make you wait 2 years!)

In October of 2002, my husband died and I couldn't bring myself to graduate that semester with my first Master's in Education, as I'm sure you can understand. My studies faltered, I was a wreck and in my efforts to put one foot in front of the other, I continued to take classes, teach my GTA class and start a new job at a local university on the provision that I completed one of my degrees. Three years later and a constant head-butting with the new dean, I was fired for not having my degree.

That was 2006 and I have been unemployed and employed for three years; as a graphic designer, unemployed, as a waitress and substitute teacher, and again unemployed since January 2009. I found the online university and enrolled in the Master's in Instructional Design for Online Learners (IDOL...lol, ohhhh, the irony!). It's perfect! I can teach again, from ANYWHERE! It allows the freedom from scheduled times in physical classrooms and fits well with my night owl tendencies. I can log in to the courseroom, read comments, post comments, or submit a paper at 3AM. How cool is that?

CONCLUSION
It is my sincere wish to teach art online. It is a bold undertaking in the face of many nay-sayers but that does not deter me. So now I am starting on my way towards my goal and it's so exciting. Once I have the degree, I can apply to colleges expanding their online courses, which is a big trend in this economy with everyone going back to school to beef up their skills or change careers. And it saves the institutions from building new structures to house the demand. It is the future.

WHERE ARE YOU?

I'm here waiting. I'm looking for you. I have put myself out there on countless dating sites. I have read 20,000 profiles, written 10,000 emails and IMs. I've gone on hundreds of "first meetings" and "first dates" and dozens of second dates...had brief encounters, no encounters...made several long term friends and friends with benefits. I've broken hearts and had my heart broken.

WHERE ARE YOU? I need you to laugh with me and to make me laugh. To share secrets, hold my hand, rub my back, and say how great I cook. You were suppose to wake me up this morning with a gentle kiss on my shoulder, spooned up against me, wrapped up in your arms. And then I was suppose to rock your world. I need to give all this love and affection to you, not to mention full body massages. I was suppose to tell you how much I love you today, but you weren't here.

WHERE ARE YOU? There's a new Star Trek movie opening and I wanted to see it with you. I wanted to wash your clothes. I wanted to go shopping with you for your new shoes but you're not here. I wanted to get tickets to the baseball game, the comedy show, and the art exhibit but I can't find you to go with me. Where are you?