Showing posts with label discipline. Show all posts
Showing posts with label discipline. Show all posts

Saturday, January 16, 2010

Day 12: 218 AND HOLDING

PREFACE
WEIGH IN: Well I'm relieved to see no weight gain! With all the pizzas and unbalanced meals I consumed over the last two weeks...no weight gain. No weight loss either. I also didn't start my exercise routine of an hour a day. It's been cold/cool but that's no excuse. I have also been keeping vampire hours (going to sleep at dawn and sleeping until 3 or 4PM...What's up with that?). And on top of it all...no sex! for 19 days!

STORY
What happened? Stress...

...no stress relief...My married lover is taking an intense course M-Sat. for green construction practices and it leaves no time for me. I was going to drive down to Miami and get some sex from my boy toy, but the thought of driving 2 1/2 hours and then staying the night in his 3 room efficiency apartment just didn't appeal to me. If I could have afforded a night in a nice hotel, I'd have gone in a heartbeat. If I had REALLY wanted just sex, I could have made arrangements, and it may come to that very soon!

...stress that I put on myself. I was to deliver my painting to the courthouse for public display (public art) on Saturday, January 15th. The art club I belong to exhibits in various locations, and this was one. I had every intention to deliver and hang my huge painting of tree roots with subtle human shapes in them. I LOVE trees. I LOVE photographing trees. I LOVE painting trees. This painting was only under-painted. I had never gone back to finish it. I thought in my mind, "I can get this done this week. Or at least to the point that it can be hung among the other artwork of the art club." Sure. A week to finish a 3' X 4' painting. I think my biggest fear prevented me from finishing it on time. And also contributed to my falling off the 'diet' wagon. I neglected my life diet severely the last two weeks.

My biggest fear is that I will paint some part of a painting and mess it up so bad that I can't fix it. If I don't take the chance of putting my art out there for public criticism, then how will I learn? It's scary. But if I keep my art to myself, then my opinion is the only one I have to worry about. Not a productive attitude. Especially when I WANT to be recognized as a 'real' artist.

CONCLUSION
It was all my own undoing. I guess I just wasn't ready to exhibit. I missed this opportunity but I won't miss the next one. I am painting on my unfinished canvas almost everyday. I'm so use to painting in an inspirational frenzy and then NOT for long periods of time. I have to paint some everyday, even if it's only a square inch!

I have to work on my discipline! Get back to my organic foods, regular meals, regular exercise, regular sleep patterns, and regular sex!! Tomorrow is another day...

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

DAY TEN: GET BACK ON TRACK

PREFACE
Weigh-in is on Saturday to see if I've lost 10lbs. After 9 days of having 'fallen off the wagon' and not starting my exercise routine...I am still determined to lose 50lbs by March 15th, 2010. I'm very confident that I am moving forward in my efforts.

STORY
The worst breech in my daily effort has been the Domino's pizzas I got and ate all last week. I buy their 3 medium pizzas for $5 each special every two weeks or so. I pig out the night they arrive and then freeze the leftovers for later. Later being the next several days! When I say pig out, I mean 6 or more slices. Now this would be a lot for a large pizza (16") with lots of toppings. But for a medium pizza, with only extra cheese or mushrooms being the added topping, it's not as bad as it sounds. Plus Domino's has started brushing the edge with herbs & garlic, which makes it irresistible. What is it about pizza that is soooo addicting? A friend offered this reason: it's the sugar. Could be...but I'm not giving up sugar! I don't care how much substituting they do, sugar tastes good. I know refined white sugar is bad so I use raw or sugar cane juice sugar instead. I gave up on the chemical sugars because they ARE poison and I don't want them in my body. I avoid white flour like the plague (which is why my addiction to pizza is so WRONG!).

I also made a recipe off the CoolWhip container using the fresh strawberries I bought to make a frozen delight which I used as dessert for 6 days. Each serving was about 300 calories.

CONCLUSION
All in all, I've managed to stay within the 1200-1500 calories/day even though I've been way off in my usual eating habits. The deciding factor in whether I lose this weight is exercise! My intake of calories would barely keep a woman of my height at 150lbs, IF SHE WERE UNDER 40 AND QUITE ACTIVE! I AM NOT THAT STATISTIC. We shall see on Saturday when I weigh in. (And by the way, no sex since last Monday. I would happily use 90 minutes of sex every day for my exercise!!)

Tuesday, January 05, 2010

DAY TWO: RUNAROUND ERRANDS

PREFACE
Only got 7 hours sleep, 2 hrs less than I NEED every night. Yes...I said it, NEED. I hear from most people that they only need 5-7 hours...they can't sleep any longer than that. Well I say that something is wrong with them. Everybody needs 7 1/2 or more hours of straight, uninterrupted sleep a night. Most don't GET it, but we all NEED it. People convince themselves that they can continue to live on 7 or less hours. Al that does is shorten their lives. Sleep is when our bodies repair themselves, rejuvenate. Besides, I really needed the rest to have the energy for the errands I had to run during the day. AND EAT BREAKFAST FOR GOODNESS SAKES! (I have a protein smoothie of my own design, approx. 400 calories & 3 egg whites with one yolk for color, scrambled. Yum.)

STORY
Today I was going to open a new (local) bank account, but I got to the bank 23 minutes after they closed. The biggest drawback of being a late riser! I did get around to picking up the paint (interior & exterior) that was being given away on Freecycle.com (like craigslist but everything is free...still-usable items given away instead of filling the landfills!...YAY!). It was very cold today so I wanted to pick up the paint before it was effected by the temperatures (40s).

Then it was off to WalMart to rent two movies (for free) from the Redbox kiosk with the FREE promo code I got sent to my email. Once I got home, I downloaded several FREE self-improvement items in video form and watched a couple. I did laundry and snuggled down to watch some TV. Five days into the new year and there is a plethera of diet (fad diets) commercials on every channel, during every show. Yes...they work...for some people....at some times..but ONLY ONCE! BE AWARE! Granted, one of the most common New Year's resolutions is to lose weight, I think even more than 'get in shape' or to quit smoking. (I'll have to check on that.)

CONCLUSION
No exercise today other than running around in the car. Watched the movies I rented. Have to return them by 9PM tomorrow. It is an excuse to get out of the house! Eating healthy, giving YOUR body what it needs specifically, and EXERCISE is the way to losing and maintaining a healthy weight. As you get older, accept the fact that you will either have to reduce your intake or increase your activity to remain the same. You cannot eat like you are 20 when you are 30! and you have to work out MORE to keep from gaining weight...it only gets worse at 40 and above. But you can DO something about it as long as you are healthy and working at it will keep you healthy.

Monday, January 04, 2010

DAY ONE: SEX & PIZZA

PREFACE
Today is the first day of my goal of losing 50lbs in 70 days. I did well in planning what I was going to do today before I even got out of bed. But somehow, it didn't work out as planned...it was better!

STORY
I lay in bed and plan out how my day will be, how it will go along, and what I will do or accomplish. I repeat my list of 5 goals, then get out of bed. I text'd my married lover/handyman asking when he can come by and install my kitchen faucet (and take care of MY plumbing at the same time...after all, IT'S BEEN A MONTH SINCE I'VE HAD SEX!). To my delight, he text's back that he will be here in an hour...YAY! I take care of a few things online, pay a bill or two, check dating sites for communications (more on that later) and then step into the shower to tweak my shaved status and get all clean for him.

WS arrives just as I finish blow drying my hair...I'm still wrapped in a big towel, which turns him on immediately. We kiss and caress and strip each other down...then I lead him to my bedroom and we spend the next 90 minutes or so having vigorous, delicious sex. I swear it gets better every time. Afterwards, WS massages my neck, shoulders, and back...which was also delicious. Then he asked me to sit up and he talked me through some healing methods to help my lower back. As we sat naked, cross-legged, facing each other...he said that I had an incredibly strong aura that he felt right away. (He's a Christian Scientist...very spiritual, self-healing, metaphysical, etc....) We got into the shower and enjoyed the water and each other's bodies for a short time and then went to work on the kitchen faucet. Went to Home Depot for parts and came back to finish. We enjoy each other's company and talk about everything (his wife and kids, who I'm dating, my family, art, movies, etc...). He may be moving back to NY and if that happens, I will miss him greatly.

I hadn't eaten anything all day, so I ordered pizza from Domino's. WS had to leave before it was delivered. I ate 6 pieces of a medium cheese pizza.

CONCLUSION
So my exercise for today: 90 minutes of vigorous sex (489 calories burned)
Food intake: Pizza (960 cal.) and ice cream (270 cal.)

A great start to my goal!

Sunday, January 03, 2010

KEEPING IT TOGETHER WHILE LOSING IT

PREFACE
Tomorrow is the first day of my goal to lose 50lbs in 10 weeks. I was inspired by watching The Diet Tribe on cable. Five women friends that vowed to lose 50lbs in four months and then compete in a triathalon. I know that I can do better than they did for several reasons.

STORY
I know that I don't have the issues these women had, I have a whole set of different issues to deal with, and I will. None of these women were over 40 years old. They had a personal trainer to instruct them and ride their asses. They were getting paid to do this project so they could afford the healthy foods. I know what it feels like to lose 50lbs and to exercise routinely producing a healthy, fit body. I remember what that feels like and I will feel that again.

I will be documenting my progress with what works for me. If this inspires anyone to try what I do/did and see if it works for them, more power to you. I am of the opinion that each person is unique and what works for me, may not work for you, and vice versa. I have tried many 'diets' and 'magic pills' and 'food plans'...all for naught. My healthy eating habits (life diet) which I have developed over the past six years have not helped me lose weight, but have maintained my weight while my activity has decreased drastically. I have become a 'lump' on the couch or I sit for hours in front of the computer. I need to greatly increase my activity level...in other words, "start working my ass off!" to achieve my weight-loss goal. I will be reporting what I eat and how I've exercised, my hits and misses, stress management, and inspiration.

CONCLUSION
If I am consuming 1200-1500 calories a day and not exercising, I cannot expect to lose weight. My body has become comfortable on reduced caloric intake. It has become comfortable at this weight and now I must make it uncomfortable. I have to use up more calories than I take in, not an easy task. My goal is at least one hour of vigorous exercise a day, with some yoga (new to me) thrown in. Ready, Set...Go!

Friday, October 30, 2009

ACADEMIC PROGRESS

PREFACE
For those who don't know, when you start a new semester in college you go through stages. First the gathering of supplies...books mostly, then the adjusting your time to meet the required instruction, study time, assignment submissions, and feedback from the instructor. You learn what's expected from him/her and what the rules are. Online courses are no different but you have the added element of technology.

STORY
It takes me about two weeks to adjust at the beginning and this has always been okay, for courses that last 16 weeks. I am now on a 10 week course schedule and haven't made THAT adjustment. A week into this new experience, I failed to get my books on time by one day (called on Friday to order them and was told my financial aid voucher had to be used by the PREVIOUS day). OK...no problem...I'll get my loan check in time to order my books and have them by the fourth week of classes (not remembering that I only HAVE ten weeks!). Then around the 10th or 11th day, I strained a muscle in my back and couldn't sit up in a chair or in bed! I could lie down or stand up...that's it! It made it almost impossible to do my classwork, so I fell behind. My instructor was understanding since she also suffers from back problems. Two weeks later and as much behind in my work, I finally started getting some of my required books. Except ONE I needed for week 3 and week 5 reading, which the professor didn't post. So I continue to struggle with catching up.

CONCLUSION
The obligation and commitment of earning a degree is still a scheduled thing even if it is not in a physical classroom on a campus. Discipline and organization are the keys to success in academic pursuits. And it also helps to like what you are studying (the good stuff and the boring). It is all in your attitude. You decide if it is worth it or not.