COVID-19: WK 17 - PERSONAL MAINTENANCE

PREFACE
During this pandemic, you might find yourself slipping on your personal maintenance. I've noticed a lot of the men growing beards and their hair. While salons and barbershops are closed or have been closed for many months, this is just an excuse to NOT shave or cut your hair. Also, it's a great thing that ZOOM does NOT have SMELL-A-VISION...LOL! I know for a fact that those attending meetings by ZOOM are NOT wearing (outside the house, dress or casual) pants, if pants at all.

STORY
I'm not one to shower every day in "normal" circumstances. I don't do manual labor or sweat if I can help it, so going 2, or even 3 days, without bathing is not apparent to others around me. But with the stay-in-place routine, my showering has taken on a new challenge for me. If I get up late in the afternoon/early evening, I may not have an opportunity to shower. I make my smoothie, then start preparing dinner. I sit down with my sister and eat and watch TV. I may not get up again until it's time for bed (not counting bathroom breaks). It may be a week before I realize that my hair is in dire need of washing! I put it in a ponytail on top of my head and that buys me another day or two if I HAVE to go out for takeout. I don't like to go out in public without clean hair/body. Since there is no one coming into our home, it doesn't matter much, but going out is another thing entirely.

It is also a problem with online dating during the COVID-19 global pandemic. If you happen to contact a suitable match, you can't let them see you when you haven't bathed or kept up. Thick, unruly eyebrows. No makeup. Unwashed hair. Eww. So you have to stall until you find out if it's worth it to "doll up" for this contact or if this is just another miss in your search. Now that everyone has accepted that video conferencing or virtual dating is something to do...do we have to work harder to be presentable?! LOL

CONCLUSION
That would be a good reason to keep up on your personal maintenance if online dating during a pandemic was viable. I had yet to see that online dating was viable pre-COVID, much less now, when everyone is quarantined or staying-in-place. No one is venturing out, except those with no concept of mortality or social conscientiousness. I guess I'll go cut my talons (toenails) and put the top coat on my fingernails, brush my soft, clean hair, and then snuggle into my cozy bed to try to sleep, perhaps to dream.... More than likely, not sleep until the sun comes up, and then sleep through the 106 degree high for July 1st, 2020. Take care of yourselves! Be safe. Wear a face mask in public. Practice social distancing inside public places. Don't go out if you don't need to, especially if your immune system is compromised or you have medical issues. Stay alive and we will all get thru this. Love to All! 

HEALING, BUT NOT HEALED...AND CAUSING MORE DAMAGE!

PREFACE
Four months later, my broken leg healed but the muscles are not back to normal yet. Fewer days of crying, more days of job hunting, scrambling for part time gigs to get SOME money coming in, and trying my best to show how much I appreciate my sister for all she's done for me.

STORY
I'm doing physical therapy (PT) once a week to strengthen my muscles that went unused/underused for 4 months. I get terrific knee pain when I overdo and the ankle is now being tended to, since there's so much more pressure on it and apparent damage was done there too. Management of pain is paramount at present.

I was tired. Haven't been sleeping well or in any socially acceptable time pattern (I sleep 6am-3pm, vampire hours!). When I have to get up and function in the normal "business" hours and it cuts my sleep time down to under 7 hrs, I get tired and careless (stumbling, banging into things, cutting flesh instead of food in preparation, etc...). On Tuesday (8/12), I had done two standee installations, driven to and photographed a third, and now at home was preparing dinner at 10:30p.m. All of this on 6 hrs sleep! I was heating up leftover meatloaf and while removing a plate I had placed as a warming plate on top of the food, it slipped out of my hands...dropped edge-first onto my left big toe...landing just below the bottom of the toenail. It didn't hurt at first, more than to say a slight profanity at my clumsiness. The "oh, f**k!" being drowned out by the clanging and circular-whirring of the dropped plate.  Then the PAIN made its way up my leg, spine, and hit my brain center!! I started to cry...it hurt SO bad...like it had been chopped off, or was being continually hit with a ball-pean hammer. I just wanted it to stop!

My sister leapt into action, offering help..."Do you need some ice?"..."You need some ice, right now!" she said after seeing the half inch black mark at the base of my nail, already beginning to bruise...and the redness spreading across my toe. She also got me a Vicadin and sat by me while I writhed in pain for the next 30 minutes...foot up on a pillow, wrapped in an ice bag...me crying (praying for it to stop hurting). She finished our dinner and served it up while we sat in front of the TV. She wanted me to go to the ER. (I am very opposed to frivolous use of the emergency room services, even now that I have health insurance to cover it...THANK YOU OBAMA!!) This pic is of broken toe...day 2.

CONCLUSION
I finally went to sleep with another pain killer and 2 Motrin. I knew right away that I will be losing that toenail. (It's happened before in my life...and you just KNOW.) Now I'm limping on BOTH sides! I hobble around, being extra careful NOT to bump that big toe...OMG! does that hurt! It's been four days and the toenail is almost all black with bruise, under the nail and everything red and swollen around it. I have been icing it and wearing my sandals to keep the pressure off but I still had to do (2) standee installations, (1) Ross shop, and a patron count for (4) showings of The Expendables 3 movie (last night). It's swollen and throbbing, but I have to earn some money! This too shall pass...and I just keep putting one sore foot in front of the other. :)

Day 12: 218 AND HOLDING

PREFACE
WEIGH IN: Well I'm relieved to see no weight gain! With all the pizzas and unbalanced meals I consumed over the last two weeks...no weight gain. No weight loss either. I also didn't start my exercise routine of an hour a day. It's been cold/cool but that's no excuse. I have also been keeping vampire hours (going to sleep at dawn and sleeping until 3 or 4PM...What's up with that?). And on top of it all...no sex! for 19 days!

STORY
What happened? Stress...

...no stress relief...My married lover is taking an intense course M-Sat. for green construction practices and it leaves no time for me. I was going to drive down to Miami and get some sex from my boy toy, but the thought of driving 2 1/2 hours and then staying the night in his 3 room efficiency apartment just didn't appeal to me. If I could have afforded a night in a nice hotel, I'd have gone in a heartbeat. If I had REALLY wanted just sex, I could have made arrangements, and it may come to that very soon!

...stress that I put on myself. I was to deliver my painting to the courthouse for public display (public art) on Saturday, January 15th. The art club I belong to exhibits in various locations, and this was one. I had every intention to deliver and hang my huge painting of tree roots with subtle human shapes in them. I LOVE trees. I LOVE photographing trees. I LOVE painting trees. This painting was only under-painted. I had never gone back to finish it. I thought in my mind, "I can get this done this week. Or at least to the point that it can be hung among the other artwork of the art club." Sure. A week to finish a 3' X 4' painting. I think my biggest fear prevented me from finishing it on time. And also contributed to my falling off the 'diet' wagon. I neglected my life diet severely the last two weeks.

My biggest fear is that I will paint some part of a painting and mess it up so bad that I can't fix it. If I don't take the chance of putting my art out there for public criticism, then how will I learn? It's scary. But if I keep my art to myself, then my opinion is the only one I have to worry about. Not a productive attitude. Especially when I WANT to be recognized as a 'real' artist.

CONCLUSION
It was all my own undoing. I guess I just wasn't ready to exhibit. I missed this opportunity but I won't miss the next one. I am painting on my unfinished canvas almost everyday. I'm so use to painting in an inspirational frenzy and then NOT for long periods of time. I have to paint some everyday, even if it's only a square inch!

I have to work on my discipline! Get back to my organic foods, regular meals, regular exercise, regular sleep patterns, and regular sex!! Tomorrow is another day...

FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL...ONLINE

PREFACE
Today I start my graduate program online. I found an accredited university that offered a near-perfect program and worked with me to resolve my academic 'issues' so that I could enroll and continue my pursuit of a Master's degree.

STORY
Back at the turn of the century (lol, love saying that) I was working on two Master's degrees at the same time, which had nothing to do with one another and none of the credits crossed over and counted in the other program. I started one in Educational Technology in 1998 and got into the second one in Fine Arts (terminal degree like a PhD) in 2000. That's when I started teaching a class as a requirement (as a Graduate Teaching Assistant or GTA). As long as you are at least half-time, you can put off payback forever (theoretically). The plan was to stay in school to avoid paying my education loans...no, not really. The plan was to get my Master's in Graphic Design and teach at the college level. The MEd was to bridge the gap between my Bachelor's in Fine Arts and being able to get into the Master's in Fine Arts. (They make you wait 2 years!)

In October of 2002, my husband died and I couldn't bring myself to graduate that semester with my first Master's in Education, as I'm sure you can understand. My studies faltered, I was a wreck and in my efforts to put one foot in front of the other, I continued to take classes, teach my GTA class and start a new job at a local university on the provision that I completed one of my degrees. Three years later and a constant head-butting with the new dean, I was fired for not having my degree.

That was 2006 and I have been unemployed and employed for three years; as a graphic designer, unemployed, as a waitress and substitute teacher, and again unemployed since January 2009. I found the online university and enrolled in the Master's in Instructional Design for Online Learners (IDOL...lol, ohhhh, the irony!). It's perfect! I can teach again, from ANYWHERE! It allows the freedom from scheduled times in physical classrooms and fits well with my night owl tendencies. I can log in to the courseroom, read comments, post comments, or submit a paper at 3AM. How cool is that?

CONCLUSION
It is my sincere wish to teach art online. It is a bold undertaking in the face of many nay-sayers but that does not deter me. So now I am starting on my way towards my goal and it's so exciting. Once I have the degree, I can apply to colleges expanding their online courses, which is a big trend in this economy with everyone going back to school to beef up their skills or change careers. And it saves the institutions from building new structures to house the demand. It is the future.

RESISTING SLEEP

I am a night owl. I am happiest sleeping until noon. Eating dinner at 9 PM or later. Writing, painting, manipulating images on the computer, all best done at 2AM, at least by me. How would you like it if every day was Saturday? Oh...yeah...you do have to shop and go for services during regular hours since the world runs on 9-5. Wait...most things can be bought over the internet, so maybe you CAN live outside the norm.

The next obstacle? Finding someone to hang with that is also a night owl. Early birds and night owls don't make a great pair. Everyone is programmed to believe that you have to conform or you are some kind of slacker, lazy and undisciplined. You just go to bed at 10PM and get up at 5:30AM and go do your job on 7 1/2 hours sleep. What if your personal internal clock is set to wind down around 2AM and you would naturally wake up at 11AM if there wasn't an alarm clock to force you awake? I NEED 9 hours sleep. Not want, NEED. Most people NEED 8 hours. they don't get it. I don't get 9 most of the time, but less than 7 for more than a couple of nights and I get clumsy. I start hurting myself, bumps, bruises, cuts...not a pretty sight. Left to my natural rhythm, I sleep 9 hours and wake naturally, instead of being jerked out of sleep by an annoying sound. Oh I know you can get an alarm that wakes you with increasing light, or gentle sounds that increase in loudness. But those don't work on me.

My life is just about perfect right now. I sleep when I want, go to bed when I want. I have no pressure on me at the moment and I'm enjoying it immensely. Life is good.