PREFACE
With spring comes renewal. Grass becomes green again, budding leaves and flowers everywhere, and change is in the air. My life is going through a big change and I don't have a clue how it will all turn out!
STORY
My landlord's house was sold at foreclosure auction on January 22nd. I have been getting letters all about it as the "unknown tenant" but with my name right next to that. So "unknown" but named...lol. Fannie Mae bought the house at auction, and is the agency that guaranteed the original "underwater" mortgage. Funny how things work.
It has been very traumatic to have to move again, and in with family again after 5 years of being on my own in a beautiful town and neighborhood. In central Florida, 2 hours from anywhere I would want to go (but didn't, except to visit family...where I'm moving back to!). I'm under a monumental amount of stress right now, and I broke down into uncontrollable crying today, just to slow me down some more.
I am asking myself what decisions did I make to get me here? Was I using good judgement when I signed up for a graduate level class in November and then continued to pursue that decision until I became $1000 in debt to family friend and 3 weeks away from the end of semester, still not knowing if I can pass this course or not. And when I do pass the class, it won't count for anything if I'm not accepted into the MFA program to complete my degree (of which I have 40/60 credits). It's all hanging in limbo, just like me.
Moving back in with my family entails the loss of freedom. No more walking around naked in the morning or sleeping that way at night. No friends allowed over. My cat isn't allowed anywhere there is carpet, so just my room and the enclosed porch. None of my furniture (my bed!) is allowed in except maybe my computer desk. And if I don't pass my class, I'll have to leave...move again!
I am grateful that I have somewhere to go, even if for only a month or two.
CONCLUSION
I must re-examine what I am manifesting if this is where I am right now. I don't want to be at this point, with these decisions and pressure, moving back to where I gladly left 5 years ago. I don't want to be "let go" from another college teaching job after 3 years because I don't have my MFA! I just wish I knew what to do, what to decide. I will meditate (which I have been doing more and more lately) and ask again, and again, and again, until I get a clear answer. My life seems to be nothing but change and renewal. Happy Spring!
Showing posts with label naked. Show all posts
Showing posts with label naked. Show all posts
Wednesday, April 02, 2014
Saturday, June 05, 2010
SATURDAY AFTERNOON DELIGHT
PREFACE
Still not done with my rough draft for my term paper. Running out of time...to be on time. What better way to celebrate than to take the afternoon off and have sex?
STORY
I sent a text message to my married lover on Saturday morning to ask if I was going to see him. He answered "yes & it wud be nice 2 catch u comng out of d shwr" and I said that depended on how he timed his arrival. To prepare for an afternoon of sex, I mowed the front lawn. Weird, you say? Not when you consider that it was a week past due and it rained every day. (June in south Florida!) If you didn't time it right, you could be caught in a downpour; mow at a daily temperature that competes with the surface temperature of the sun; or try to mow when the grass is too high or too wet, thus having to stop every 15 minutes to wash down the blades. Last weekend's mowing was delayed by my visit from BT. I had to catch up.
I timed it just right...finishing the front lawn while the clouds were gathering and cooled the temperature some...stepped into the shower, washed, shampooed, and shaved some stubble while the conditioner softened my hair. I thought I saw some movement in the living room (without glasses I can only see clearly about 3 inches in front of my eyes)...and into the bathroom he walks in all his naked glory. WS has a very sexy body...thin, but not skinny, and muscular...with a dark, Latino color, even where he is NOT tanned from working outside.
I invited him into the shower with me and we washed each other, kissed, and then got busy. I think the shower is one of THE most sensual places to have sex, and the fact that WS is just the height that we can do it standing up is the sexiest! Pure joy! We moved into the cool, dark bedroom and continued for some time, taking turns, bringing our pleasure to the peak then slowing down, changing position. Just as I was getting to the edge (which doesn't happen often in the natural scheme of things), I thought of introducing my 'finger vibrator' to the action to help me along. It actually intensified things for him too much...but he helped me along after and we both had mutually satisfying sex. We spooned and fell asleep for 20 minutes or so...a cat nap, then we dressed and hung out...talking, looking up stuff on the computer. I enjoy talking to him about spirituality, science, dreams, and goals...and everything. His phone rang and he had to go, promising to see me a few days (mmmm, goody!).
CONCLUSION
I have been meditating twice a day for a while now. One area I've needed improvement in is my love/sex life. The manifesting is paying off with a visit from BT (a love in my life) and now WS (the fairly regular sex in my life) and a very satisfying and joyfully tiring afternoon. Namaste!
Still not done with my rough draft for my term paper. Running out of time...to be on time. What better way to celebrate than to take the afternoon off and have sex?
STORY
I sent a text message to my married lover on Saturday morning to ask if I was going to see him. He answered "yes & it wud be nice 2 catch u comng out of d shwr" and I said that depended on how he timed his arrival. To prepare for an afternoon of sex, I mowed the front lawn. Weird, you say? Not when you consider that it was a week past due and it rained every day. (June in south Florida!) If you didn't time it right, you could be caught in a downpour; mow at a daily temperature that competes with the surface temperature of the sun; or try to mow when the grass is too high or too wet, thus having to stop every 15 minutes to wash down the blades. Last weekend's mowing was delayed by my visit from BT. I had to catch up.
I timed it just right...finishing the front lawn while the clouds were gathering and cooled the temperature some...stepped into the shower, washed, shampooed, and shaved some stubble while the conditioner softened my hair. I thought I saw some movement in the living room (without glasses I can only see clearly about 3 inches in front of my eyes)...and into the bathroom he walks in all his naked glory. WS has a very sexy body...thin, but not skinny, and muscular...with a dark, Latino color, even where he is NOT tanned from working outside.
I invited him into the shower with me and we washed each other, kissed, and then got busy. I think the shower is one of THE most sensual places to have sex, and the fact that WS is just the height that we can do it standing up is the sexiest! Pure joy! We moved into the cool, dark bedroom and continued for some time, taking turns, bringing our pleasure to the peak then slowing down, changing position. Just as I was getting to the edge (which doesn't happen often in the natural scheme of things), I thought of introducing my 'finger vibrator' to the action to help me along. It actually intensified things for him too much...but he helped me along after and we both had mutually satisfying sex. We spooned and fell asleep for 20 minutes or so...a cat nap, then we dressed and hung out...talking, looking up stuff on the computer. I enjoy talking to him about spirituality, science, dreams, and goals...and everything. His phone rang and he had to go, promising to see me a few days (mmmm, goody!).
CONCLUSION
I have been meditating twice a day for a while now. One area I've needed improvement in is my love/sex life. The manifesting is paying off with a visit from BT (a love in my life) and now WS (the fairly regular sex in my life) and a very satisfying and joyfully tiring afternoon. Namaste!
Saturday, September 05, 2009
SEXY SATURDAY
PREFACE
I slept in again, having stayed up until 4AM playing Mafia Wars on Tagged. I had been working on my self improvement program all day Friday; writing out the first exercise, posting on the community board, and answering email. I love my life on my terms. NOT having to get up to an alarm clock, NOT having to drive to a building to work in, and NOT living by anyone else's schedule. It's heaven! I am living my dream life right now, the only things missing are a steady reliable income to sustain me into the future and a special man to share it with. But I'm working on it.
STORY
I had been thinking about WS since his visit on Wednesday. I was even kind of anxious for him to arrive. He usually gets here about 2, but today didn't arrive until almost 3. He's been working on his own house and the job had gotten really involved. We talked about what he had been doing all morning, and then I talked about what I had been doing...all the time, me leaned back sitting in my leather computer chair and him in the dining room chair across from me, with my legs up on his lap on either side of him. He rubbed my legs and ran his hands up under my skirt, discovering the extent of the shaving that I had done the night before. We both vowed to get some work done around the house today...but AFTER...we moved to a more comfortable place...my bedroom of course. He got naked while I went to the bathroom and when I came out, he was on the phone...with his wife. They had a 10 minute conversation while I took the cat out of the room and got a bottle of water. He said he had wanted to get into bed and pose all sexy for me...I told him he didn't have to try to be sexy, he already was sexy.
We played around for a little while, him on the edge of the bed, me standing in front of him. He took my dress off over my head, kissed, fondled, sucked, & licked me in all the appropriate places. I laid him back on the bed and gave him some oral attention (which he thoroughly enjoyed) and then he stopped me, stood up, embraced me, and then entered me with us both standing. It was very erotic and felt great! He said "I've never been able to do that with any other woman before." So we stood there, naked, kissing, having sex...standing up.
He turned me slowly and backed me towards the bed, laid me down without missing a stroke, and we had slow, delicious sex for the next half hour...changing position ever so slightly, this leg here, that leg there, entangled, engulfed...pelvis bone to pelvis bone...tingling, tightening...stop...shutter...start again. It was wonderful. No orgasm for me this time but there will be lots of time for that. We lingered in bed, drinking water and talking. He got up and took a shower (3 minute military shower). Then we started working on re-screening that needed to be done...before he had to leave. We got 4 done. I told him I'd work on the others so they'd be ready for him next Saturday. He said he'd try to see me during the week (which would make me very happy). There is always a certain amount of hugging and kissing, affectionate touching between us...it's very sweet.
CONCLUSION
A little talk, a little sex, a little home improvement work...life is good!
I slept in again, having stayed up until 4AM playing Mafia Wars on Tagged. I had been working on my self improvement program all day Friday; writing out the first exercise, posting on the community board, and answering email. I love my life on my terms. NOT having to get up to an alarm clock, NOT having to drive to a building to work in, and NOT living by anyone else's schedule. It's heaven! I am living my dream life right now, the only things missing are a steady reliable income to sustain me into the future and a special man to share it with. But I'm working on it.
STORY
I had been thinking about WS since his visit on Wednesday. I was even kind of anxious for him to arrive. He usually gets here about 2, but today didn't arrive until almost 3. He's been working on his own house and the job had gotten really involved. We talked about what he had been doing all morning, and then I talked about what I had been doing...all the time, me leaned back sitting in my leather computer chair and him in the dining room chair across from me, with my legs up on his lap on either side of him. He rubbed my legs and ran his hands up under my skirt, discovering the extent of the shaving that I had done the night before. We both vowed to get some work done around the house today...but AFTER...we moved to a more comfortable place...my bedroom of course. He got naked while I went to the bathroom and when I came out, he was on the phone...with his wife. They had a 10 minute conversation while I took the cat out of the room and got a bottle of water. He said he had wanted to get into bed and pose all sexy for me...I told him he didn't have to try to be sexy, he already was sexy.
We played around for a little while, him on the edge of the bed, me standing in front of him. He took my dress off over my head, kissed, fondled, sucked, & licked me in all the appropriate places. I laid him back on the bed and gave him some oral attention (which he thoroughly enjoyed) and then he stopped me, stood up, embraced me, and then entered me with us both standing. It was very erotic and felt great! He said "I've never been able to do that with any other woman before." So we stood there, naked, kissing, having sex...standing up.
He turned me slowly and backed me towards the bed, laid me down without missing a stroke, and we had slow, delicious sex for the next half hour...changing position ever so slightly, this leg here, that leg there, entangled, engulfed...pelvis bone to pelvis bone...tingling, tightening...stop...shutter...start again. It was wonderful. No orgasm for me this time but there will be lots of time for that. We lingered in bed, drinking water and talking. He got up and took a shower (3 minute military shower). Then we started working on re-screening that needed to be done...before he had to leave. We got 4 done. I told him I'd work on the others so they'd be ready for him next Saturday. He said he'd try to see me during the week (which would make me very happy). There is always a certain amount of hugging and kissing, affectionate touching between us...it's very sweet.
CONCLUSION
A little talk, a little sex, a little home improvement work...life is good!
Sunday, August 30, 2009
THE MARRIED MAN
PREFACE
Put aside your opinion of infidelity for this one. I am having an affair with a married man. This is not the first time that I've been single and had a married lover. Discretion is the key here. I was married for 20 years to a man I loved and felt was my best friend. We had an understanding that if either of us were to cheat on the other, it better NOT be discovered! Neither of us were jealous having the confidence that we were strong in our relationship and had no need to go looking outside it (or at least would never let the other know we had). It takes much planning and primary consideration for your spouse, if you are going to have an affair. You cannot risk STDs, evidence that can be discovered, nor guilt about your actions. You must BE THERE for your spouse, if there is ANY need at all. If you violate any of these, you WILL be found out and someone will be hurt. But what if your spouse never finds out and you have your affair? Who is hurt by this?
STORY
We met online on a community oriented website. We emailed back and forth and IM'd once before actually meeting. It was understood that he was to come to my house and complete some repairs (for no compensation) and we would get an idea whether or not it would move to a more affectionate arrangement. He came over the first time and we talked about repairs needed, about each other's lives and where we were at the moment. I cooked him dinner. and we talked some more about our beliefs and ideas. We found much in common. And we kissed at the end of the evening before parting, and confirmed that we both were attracted to each other. He left with us both wanting more.
The next week he came and did several repairs around the house, which was glorious since I couldn't do them. Then we sat on the couch and necked for a while. I massaged his back as he had worked very hard and was sore. We kissed and touched and generally explored each other. Nothing more intimate than 'third base' but we had waited too long to really get into anything sexual before he had to go home to his wife and family. I thought it was going very well. We were taking it slow (almost too slow for me!) and he was very a very sweet and gentle lover with a lot of smoldering passion that was VERY exciting and stimulating.
Then for several weeks there was always something that came up to prevent him (WS) from coming to see me until last Saturday, 8/29/09, only four days after my blissful encounter with BT. "What!" you say..."you would have sex with another man four days after BT? the man you supposedly love?" Yes. BT and I are not exclusive. He does not include me in his day-to-day life in the DR. So why not?
THE ENCOUNTER
Saturday, 8/29: WS is due to arrive around 2PM. I have been up all night and had just fallen asleep at 7AM.I text him to his phone and ask if he could postpone for an hour for me to get a little more sleep? He text me back "Would you like breakfast in bed?" I text "That would be lovely. The doors unlocked." (NOTE: I sleep naked. It saves time when I have hot flashes at night. I can just throw off the covers, cool down, then pull the covers back on and go back to sleep. My hot flashes last about 4-5 mins. but will wake me from a sound sleep. You learn to live with it.)
So WS arrives around 1PM with breakfast from a local diner (he was going to cook for me but decided that this would be better). Then he proceeded to feed me breakfast! I have never been pampered like this. The luxury of not having to cook breakfast or even feed myself. With affectionate kisses in between. (NOTE: I was nude with only bed covers in between me and him.) After I finished the eggs & cheese, with some whole wheat toast & several bites of ham (I don't usually eat bread or breakfast meats), I sipped my coffee and we talked casually.
I then asked him if he would massage my neck and shoulders, as I had suffered from a stiff neck for two days now. He was more than eager and has very good hands. This led to revealing more of my naked body as I lay on my stomach and he massaged away my tension. His hands on my bare skin, the soothing slickness of the lotion, and our heightened arousal...all led to us having our first sexual encounter. He was very sensual, generous, and showed great control of his orgasm. But once I turned my back to him, with his body spooned up against mine and we did it doggie style, he lost all control (can you blame him?).
He said he was so sorry that I hadn't cum. I said, "No worries. You can watch and help me orgasm." and he said he'd like that very much. So I brought out my new sex toy, the Relentless Rabbit, and we both enjoyed my orgasm. He said that he would have to work on giving me an orgasm and that I had to not limit myself with thoughts that "I can't have an orgasm except 'this way or that'...." I told him that I am always open to accepting stimulation as it happens during sex. (What I would like is to cum once for every time my partner cums. That would great!) We lay in bed most of the afternoon and into the evening. We talked about his wife being distant sexually to him, her clingy need to revolve around him, the loss of their 21 yo son a year ago in an auto accident and the losses I have suffered (husband, brother, mother & father). We both feel that you have to be thankful for each day and enjoy the joy that enters your life. We are sharing some joy, pleasure, human connection, happiness,...without any burden or expectations. Then he took a shower and left, kissing me goodbye before he left.
CONCLUSION
No matter your opinion of cheating, we all need human contact. We need to be desired, to have our thoughts and ideas listened to, to be encouraged that we matter...that our existence is important. Being confident in who you are, having self esteem, and projecting your dreams and desires into your reality...will bring you that which you desire. You can only hope that you give joy into the universe and try your hardest not to hurt anyone in the process. I am not here to prove or justify what is right or wrong...I give love unconditionally out into the universe and have received joy and comfort in return, without really expecting it. A regular sex life is a wonderful thing!
Put aside your opinion of infidelity for this one. I am having an affair with a married man. This is not the first time that I've been single and had a married lover. Discretion is the key here. I was married for 20 years to a man I loved and felt was my best friend. We had an understanding that if either of us were to cheat on the other, it better NOT be discovered! Neither of us were jealous having the confidence that we were strong in our relationship and had no need to go looking outside it (or at least would never let the other know we had). It takes much planning and primary consideration for your spouse, if you are going to have an affair. You cannot risk STDs, evidence that can be discovered, nor guilt about your actions. You must BE THERE for your spouse, if there is ANY need at all. If you violate any of these, you WILL be found out and someone will be hurt. But what if your spouse never finds out and you have your affair? Who is hurt by this?
STORY
We met online on a community oriented website. We emailed back and forth and IM'd once before actually meeting. It was understood that he was to come to my house and complete some repairs (for no compensation) and we would get an idea whether or not it would move to a more affectionate arrangement. He came over the first time and we talked about repairs needed, about each other's lives and where we were at the moment. I cooked him dinner. and we talked some more about our beliefs and ideas. We found much in common. And we kissed at the end of the evening before parting, and confirmed that we both were attracted to each other. He left with us both wanting more.
The next week he came and did several repairs around the house, which was glorious since I couldn't do them. Then we sat on the couch and necked for a while. I massaged his back as he had worked very hard and was sore. We kissed and touched and generally explored each other. Nothing more intimate than 'third base' but we had waited too long to really get into anything sexual before he had to go home to his wife and family. I thought it was going very well. We were taking it slow (almost too slow for me!) and he was very a very sweet and gentle lover with a lot of smoldering passion that was VERY exciting and stimulating.
Then for several weeks there was always something that came up to prevent him (WS) from coming to see me until last Saturday, 8/29/09, only four days after my blissful encounter with BT. "What!" you say..."you would have sex with another man four days after BT? the man you supposedly love?" Yes. BT and I are not exclusive. He does not include me in his day-to-day life in the DR. So why not?
THE ENCOUNTER
Saturday, 8/29: WS is due to arrive around 2PM. I have been up all night and had just fallen asleep at 7AM.I text him to his phone and ask if he could postpone for an hour for me to get a little more sleep? He text me back "Would you like breakfast in bed?" I text "That would be lovely. The doors unlocked." (NOTE: I sleep naked. It saves time when I have hot flashes at night. I can just throw off the covers, cool down, then pull the covers back on and go back to sleep. My hot flashes last about 4-5 mins. but will wake me from a sound sleep. You learn to live with it.)
So WS arrives around 1PM with breakfast from a local diner (he was going to cook for me but decided that this would be better). Then he proceeded to feed me breakfast! I have never been pampered like this. The luxury of not having to cook breakfast or even feed myself. With affectionate kisses in between. (NOTE: I was nude with only bed covers in between me and him.) After I finished the eggs & cheese, with some whole wheat toast & several bites of ham (I don't usually eat bread or breakfast meats), I sipped my coffee and we talked casually.
I then asked him if he would massage my neck and shoulders, as I had suffered from a stiff neck for two days now. He was more than eager and has very good hands. This led to revealing more of my naked body as I lay on my stomach and he massaged away my tension. His hands on my bare skin, the soothing slickness of the lotion, and our heightened arousal...all led to us having our first sexual encounter. He was very sensual, generous, and showed great control of his orgasm. But once I turned my back to him, with his body spooned up against mine and we did it doggie style, he lost all control (can you blame him?).
He said he was so sorry that I hadn't cum. I said, "No worries. You can watch and help me orgasm." and he said he'd like that very much. So I brought out my new sex toy, the Relentless Rabbit, and we both enjoyed my orgasm. He said that he would have to work on giving me an orgasm and that I had to not limit myself with thoughts that "I can't have an orgasm except 'this way or that'...." I told him that I am always open to accepting stimulation as it happens during sex. (What I would like is to cum once for every time my partner cums. That would great!) We lay in bed most of the afternoon and into the evening. We talked about his wife being distant sexually to him, her clingy need to revolve around him, the loss of their 21 yo son a year ago in an auto accident and the losses I have suffered (husband, brother, mother & father). We both feel that you have to be thankful for each day and enjoy the joy that enters your life. We are sharing some joy, pleasure, human connection, happiness,...without any burden or expectations. Then he took a shower and left, kissing me goodbye before he left.
CONCLUSION
No matter your opinion of cheating, we all need human contact. We need to be desired, to have our thoughts and ideas listened to, to be encouraged that we matter...that our existence is important. Being confident in who you are, having self esteem, and projecting your dreams and desires into your reality...will bring you that which you desire. You can only hope that you give joy into the universe and try your hardest not to hurt anyone in the process. I am not here to prove or justify what is right or wrong...I give love unconditionally out into the universe and have received joy and comfort in return, without really expecting it. A regular sex life is a wonderful thing!
Friday, August 28, 2009
REVELLING IN THE AFTERGLOW
I am still floating in the afterglow of a mutually satisfying sexual encounter. BT arrived at my door on Monday at 5PM. We hadn't seen each other since May 12th, when we spent 90 minutes together (a much shorter time than originally planned). Before that we had not been together for two years. So you can understand why I am still glowing after our 17 hours we spent together this week!
We kissed and said hello and after a short tour of my new home, we went back to my bedroom and got naked. BT and I have a powerful sexual attraction for each other and for the next three hours we had sex three times, with short naps in between for him. The sex is so good and intense. The naps were understandable since he HAD just put his three children (all in college) on a plane to Boston after spending the week in Orlando with them and drove 2 hours to get to me. We cuddled and he told me about a shake up at work, about his refusal to sign a new contract, and plans to leave and start his own company. All this to happen in the next week or so. I realized that if this relationship is to move forward, I will have to visit the Santo Domingo (DR) and see for myself why he loves it there so much. He has no intension of moving back to the states to live (at least at this point in his life).
We ordered pizza and watched THE WATCHMEN DVD which he had with him and I had not seen as yet. It was an interesting "comic book" movie done in the dark, violent tradition of SIN CITY and set in the 1980s (as much as I could tell). It was a very long movie but enjoyable. This one had some of everything in it; love story, chop-socky 'matrix' fight scenes, good pyrotechnics, flawed heroes galore, and a little humor here and there. BT fell asleep while we held hands watching the movie. At midnight we went to bed, naked and spooning...mmm, such a lovely way to sleep, that is if I did sleep, which I didn't much. Sex is easy, sleeping together isn't. BT does not snore very loudly, thankfully, but I'm just not use to sleeping with anyone anymore. But even in sleeplessness, I love to hear him breathe and listen to the low rumble of his snoring. It's comforting, knowing that no bears will attack (LOL).
I had set the alarm for 6AM to get some "morning wood" action and though his flesh was willing with a little hand work from me, he would not wake up enough to have sex. I accepted defeat for the moment and rolled over with my back to him...as he rolled over to spoon and envelop me with him strong arms. I dozed for a while until I felt his "flesh" becoming aroused all by itself (which is one of the BEST ways to be awakened in my book). We had sex for the fourth time and after his finish, I said, "OK, my turn. Do you want to watch me cum?" He said an enthusiastic YES! and I got out my new toy (a finger vibrator). He had orgasmed four times and not once for me, as I need direct stimulation. He spooned up behind me, touching me, kissing/biting my neck/ears...after about 20 minutes, I asked him to give me his oral attention, at which he is exceedingly good. Then after 20 more minutes, I became too overstimulated, feeling my blood pressure rise and hyperventilating, so I asked him to stop so I could rest. It is the best you can feel without actually having an orgasm. As soon as I had recovered a normal heart rate and breathing, I brought out my other new toy...the Relentless Rabbit. An improvement over the original and it did the trick within 15 minutes...with BT giving much attention to my body. He was quite happy to see me orgasm (as was I!). He then asked for oral attention from me as he knows I am glad to give him a happy ending. I enjoy it almost as much as he does. We cuddled some more and then took a shower together (another great level of intimacy for us). Then all too soon, it was time for him to go.
17 hours of bliss. As he walked towards his rental in the driveway, I told him "I love you"...he said "Love you too." That was the first time we'd said it since he arrived. Words do not speak as loudly as actions, nor the way someone makes you feel. I can live with that for now.
We kissed and said hello and after a short tour of my new home, we went back to my bedroom and got naked. BT and I have a powerful sexual attraction for each other and for the next three hours we had sex three times, with short naps in between for him. The sex is so good and intense. The naps were understandable since he HAD just put his three children (all in college) on a plane to Boston after spending the week in Orlando with them and drove 2 hours to get to me. We cuddled and he told me about a shake up at work, about his refusal to sign a new contract, and plans to leave and start his own company. All this to happen in the next week or so. I realized that if this relationship is to move forward, I will have to visit the Santo Domingo (DR) and see for myself why he loves it there so much. He has no intension of moving back to the states to live (at least at this point in his life).
We ordered pizza and watched THE WATCHMEN DVD which he had with him and I had not seen as yet. It was an interesting "comic book" movie done in the dark, violent tradition of SIN CITY and set in the 1980s (as much as I could tell). It was a very long movie but enjoyable. This one had some of everything in it; love story, chop-socky 'matrix' fight scenes, good pyrotechnics, flawed heroes galore, and a little humor here and there. BT fell asleep while we held hands watching the movie. At midnight we went to bed, naked and spooning...mmm, such a lovely way to sleep, that is if I did sleep, which I didn't much. Sex is easy, sleeping together isn't. BT does not snore very loudly, thankfully, but I'm just not use to sleeping with anyone anymore. But even in sleeplessness, I love to hear him breathe and listen to the low rumble of his snoring. It's comforting, knowing that no bears will attack (LOL).
I had set the alarm for 6AM to get some "morning wood" action and though his flesh was willing with a little hand work from me, he would not wake up enough to have sex. I accepted defeat for the moment and rolled over with my back to him...as he rolled over to spoon and envelop me with him strong arms. I dozed for a while until I felt his "flesh" becoming aroused all by itself (which is one of the BEST ways to be awakened in my book). We had sex for the fourth time and after his finish, I said, "OK, my turn. Do you want to watch me cum?" He said an enthusiastic YES! and I got out my new toy (a finger vibrator). He had orgasmed four times and not once for me, as I need direct stimulation. He spooned up behind me, touching me, kissing/biting my neck/ears...after about 20 minutes, I asked him to give me his oral attention, at which he is exceedingly good. Then after 20 more minutes, I became too overstimulated, feeling my blood pressure rise and hyperventilating, so I asked him to stop so I could rest. It is the best you can feel without actually having an orgasm. As soon as I had recovered a normal heart rate and breathing, I brought out my other new toy...the Relentless Rabbit. An improvement over the original and it did the trick within 15 minutes...with BT giving much attention to my body. He was quite happy to see me orgasm (as was I!). He then asked for oral attention from me as he knows I am glad to give him a happy ending. I enjoy it almost as much as he does. We cuddled some more and then took a shower together (another great level of intimacy for us). Then all too soon, it was time for him to go.
17 hours of bliss. As he walked towards his rental in the driveway, I told him "I love you"...he said "Love you too." That was the first time we'd said it since he arrived. Words do not speak as loudly as actions, nor the way someone makes you feel. I can live with that for now.
Monday, June 01, 2009
WHEN DOES NUDITY BECOME PORN?
I'm an artist. I love photography and creating paintings from photographs. The nude body in all it's splender is a beautiful thing. Somewhere along the line, our ancestors decided that looking at the nude body was dirty, evil, reprehensible...so they called it pornography and hid it from view. The Supreme Court defines pornography as "Anything having no artistic value and stimulating sexual thoughts" and as Bill Hicks said in one of his comedy routines..."that defines almost every commercial seen on television!" Sex sells! So are commercials pornography? Is a picture of two people engaging in sex pornography? Are photos of "private parts in various stages of stimulation" pornography? Or is it all just natural...the nature of us as human beings?
I notice that many older female artists go through a phase of erotic expression in their favorite medium. I wonder if this is instigated by the change of life as it has been for me. Georgia O'Keefe and her 'flowers' is a prime example. A former female art professor went through a period of painting penises, in all imaginable forms...incorporated into flowers and landscapes...'popping up' in all kinds of images not related to a nude male body. Some said she did it for shock value. I think it was just experimentation with the taboo society puts on full frontal nudity for men (not as much for women).
Later in life when women start the journey through menopause, creativity is heightened and inhibitions seem to melt away. (I'm just speaking for myself and those I know.) I know that the change has brought about more exploration for me into who I am, what I look like (all of me), and what I want (from life, love, sex, career) and what I want to accomplish. I think more about sex now than when I was 15! I can understand (not condone) why a woman in her mid-thirties would seduce a boy of 13, since menopause can start that early and a woman not even know it or control it. I remember being attracted to the son of a contemporary who was 15 and I was early thirties. I could control my urges but there are some who can't.
I have taken many photographs of myself naked. Many different poses and parts. And I have invited opinion from those I know and trust and have received photos in return too. All reviews have been favorable but I take them with a grain of salt (since they're all men and not all artistic). I am painting a self portrait of one of these nude photos and I think it would be considered not pornographic. Artistic in the same sense as Degas's women at their bathing rituals. But some of my more intimate photos are inspiring to me too and they may be considered porn by some in the art world. Not that I really care (lol).
I notice that many older female artists go through a phase of erotic expression in their favorite medium. I wonder if this is instigated by the change of life as it has been for me. Georgia O'Keefe and her 'flowers' is a prime example. A former female art professor went through a period of painting penises, in all imaginable forms...incorporated into flowers and landscapes...'popping up' in all kinds of images not related to a nude male body. Some said she did it for shock value. I think it was just experimentation with the taboo society puts on full frontal nudity for men (not as much for women).
Later in life when women start the journey through menopause, creativity is heightened and inhibitions seem to melt away. (I'm just speaking for myself and those I know.) I know that the change has brought about more exploration for me into who I am, what I look like (all of me), and what I want (from life, love, sex, career) and what I want to accomplish. I think more about sex now than when I was 15! I can understand (not condone) why a woman in her mid-thirties would seduce a boy of 13, since menopause can start that early and a woman not even know it or control it. I remember being attracted to the son of a contemporary who was 15 and I was early thirties. I could control my urges but there are some who can't.
I have taken many photographs of myself naked. Many different poses and parts. And I have invited opinion from those I know and trust and have received photos in return too. All reviews have been favorable but I take them with a grain of salt (since they're all men and not all artistic). I am painting a self portrait of one of these nude photos and I think it would be considered not pornographic. Artistic in the same sense as Degas's women at their bathing rituals. But some of my more intimate photos are inspiring to me too and they may be considered porn by some in the art world. Not that I really care (lol).
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