Friday, July 10, 2009


And the saying goes...Today is the first day of the rest of my life. Any day can be a turning point in your life.

Today I started a food journal to record everything I eat, every day and when. (It has been proven that those with food diaries lose weight faster than those without.)

I have decided that in order to "move" 5 hours a day that you have to "move" 20 minutes out of every hour of being sedentary. So if you "move" for an hour, you can be still for 3 hours. An hour workout earns you a movie and an hour and a half, or so of computer time. Or you could get up and purposely dance, sweep, rake or whatever, 20 minutes out of every hour. If I work in the garden or at yardwork for 2 hours, I've earned 6 hours of couch-potato-time. Now that I have the concept equated in my mind, I can do this.

Today I completed my application to enter a Master's program with an online university. I still have to apply for financial aid and get approved to pay for it but I started the ball rolling. I was dropped from the graduate programs at FAU in 2004 after failing to complete the degree in a timely manner (which really didn't apply since I was working on two Master's degrees, one being a terminal degree like a PhD). This was the last straw of all the complications that had happened since my husband's death in October 2002...the semester I was to graduate with my first Master's degree. I have taken the first step towards earning at least one.

I have started sending emails or an instant message to BT every day, to let him know that I think about him every day. That he's on my mind. I love him and I want him to know how much. A new friend of mine said out loud what I had thought but not acted on. I was afraid I would scare him away or overwhelm him. Afraid that daily contact would make me look needy or that I might be a psycho-bitch waiting to explode. When Yvonne said I should let him know how I feel, I knew she as right, no matter how it turned out. I have been hurt once by BT and I was just protecting myself against it happening again by not reaching out to him but waiting until he contacted me. He is a busy executive, with a stressful schedule and a multitude of responsibilities as his daily routine. He is also 300 miles away from me, and I am out-of-sight, out-of-mind. It has been pointed out to me recently that men tend to forget what they can't see...being the visual creatures they are. We have a long distance relationship with short visits which are few and far between. But those times we are together are events when time stops, stress stops, and we are in feels like it's where I should be at that moment. The sex is the best but we are also comfortable with each other. We are communicating more now then ever before and I am very hopeful.

Each day we are given a new opportunity to find happiness. Today is the first day...

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