Friday, September 18, 2009

DATING CYCLE

PREFACE
Over the last 6 1/2 years that I've been online dating, I've observed a dating cycle. I'm on several dating sites and most of the year I get 2-4 nibbles (emails) a day. There are certain times of year that there is no activity. I haven't figured out why this happens but it has happened recently over the past 3 weeks. No new contacts, no new emails until about two days ago.

STORY
I check my online dating sites at least every two days for new emails. I also receive notification emails telling me I have mail. The past several weeks, there's been very little activity. When this happens, I go into my accounts and stir things up a bit. Maybe post a few new pictures or rewrite my essay. I might view those men who have viewed my profile, causing me to show up as having viewed them. Or I'll add ones I'm interested in to my favorites (black book..or whatever the site calls it). This lets them know that I'm more interested than just a look. I feel that if they can't get the idea from that, then they're probably not smart enough to keep up with me anyway. Sometimes I'll send a wink or a 'free' icebreaker to show interest. Then it's up to them to send me an email.

Every once in a while I take a special offer from eHarmony if they offer 3 months for the price of one month. They are a VERY expensive service that doesn't produce any results. Even their commercials show couples that were married years ago and no one says whether they are STILL married today. My favorite services are Plentyoffish and Bookofmatches, both of which are FREE and through which I have met several men. They include forums to express opinions for like-minded matches and Plentyoffish has taken the 'community' feel a step further by it's members organizing events locally to get members out in social situations but with the comfort of being in a group. I have attended many of these events and I've had a great time. They do this without charging a fee for membership. I don't think you should have to pay for a matchmaking service.

CONCLUSION
Thursday and Friday I got about six new emails each day, so it looks like the dry spell has ended. Though I wasn't interested in any of the men who tried to contact me, at least it was something. I would say that I respond to one out of 10 emails, other than to just thank them for their interest and wish them luck. Being on more than one dating site is viewed by some men as being a player, but I think that is only if you stay on them after you have found a serious relationship. If a man is put off by you playing the field and giving yourself as many options and opportunities to find happiness, then he has a narrow view of what dating has become in the 21st century. Pass on him, and move on to the wonders of dating and finding THE right man for you.

Saturday, September 12, 2009

NO SEX SATURDAY

PREFACE
Having had a few days of "not feeling so healthy" I was looking forward to a massage and little sex today from my married lover. He is my handyman, my 'rent-a-husband' (for real!), and he gives me attention for about four hours on Saturday starting around 2PM. But not today.

STORY
I woke up to my alarm clock at 11AM, but had had only 7 hrs sleep and needed more. I reset my alarm for 12N and went back to sleep. At noon, the alarm went off again, so I hit the snooze (10mins extra)...three times! and finally was awake at 12:30PM. I texted my lover good morning and waited. WS replied that he wasn't able to come today due to dental problems. I texted him back and told him to rest and heal, and that I missed him.

Feeling a little let down, I got an IM and a phone call from a prospective lover who lives 90 mins NW of me, but we've never hooked up as yet. LC is also in the handyman crafts, recently divorced, and he works 6 days a week. Today he took off work for mental health and is taking off next Saturday too. Now my dilemma is: Do I start a sexual relationship with LC, who is not married but also not available but every once in a while due to work? Do I really want to start a purely sexual thing or do I hold out for a local, full relationship?

I was suppose to go to a movie & drinks/live music last night with KS who I met on Tagged. We've spoken on the phone a couple of times and he REALLY wants to meet me and take me out. I told him it would be as friends (since he's a little older than I date). Then his work had an emergency and he couldn't call me on his cell due to reception interference (at the airport where he works). I got notice of this after waiting...ready to go...all made up...two hours past the time he said he'd call. I figured I was stood-up and went online to Tagged to play some Mafia Wars and check emails. His email was there explaining what had happened. I wasn't mad...shit happens. I told him that I had plans for Saturday, so he had suggested that maybe we could go to the movie on Sunday. I emailed him back that would be good.

CONCLUSION
So today I'm working on projects, self-improvement and home-improvement. Taking my time with no one pushing me to 'get it done' or waiting for me to be ready to go. As a mature single woman, playing the field can give you many choices. I am not a 'player' since I do not lie about my relationships to anyone in a relationship with me. If a man asks me if I'm dating anyone else, I tell him the truth. If he asks me if I'm having sex with anyone else, again I tell him the truth. If they ask the question, they better be prepared for the truthful answer. I don't volunteer the information unless asked. It's not their business unless they want to make it their business. This all changes if there are serious emotions involved between both me and the man. I am all for being exclusive, but I also exercise the freedom that men have had for centuries. My happiness is exploring all the possibilities available to me.

Tuesday, September 08, 2009

SELF IMPROVEMENT

PREFACE
As human beings we strive to improve ourselves. It's a basic need to reach self-actualizaiton or what some call enlightenment. Take into consideration that there is an enormous population of humans that will never reach enlightenment because they live in horrendous conditions where ignorance is the rule, to keep the masses controllable. In a country like ours, this should not be, but unfortunately it does exist. Mazlow's Heirarchy of Needs shows that self-actualization can only happen when all the other needs are met. The deficiency needs, of which self esteem is just below self-actualization, have to be met before moving on to the next level. With our tough economic times, self esteem has taken a hit.

STORY
There is a plethora of self improvement systems out there.
The Law of Attraction. This particular idea is so evident and easy to understand that most don't get it. It is based on breaking habits of negativity and thinking your way into a better life. Good thoughts attract good things. Believing the you are already at the place you want to be, things are already taken care of, and eliminating worry from your life.
Visualizing is closely related. As something that very successful people from all walks of life have testified to, visualization works. An athlete crossing the finish line is never surprised that they won, because they already saw themselves doing it. It is something that many people have to practice in the beginning. Vision Boards and Dream Posters were the first visual representation of what you want, your goals. Now there are MindMovies which gives free generic movies which uses visual images and music which taps into brain frequencies to align the mind and the brain. You see what you want and your mind is receptive. Or you can create your own specific mindmovie to manifest your dreams.
Motivational tapes and seminars to help you through your self improvement. Motivating people to get out of their own way in becoming successful in their lives, in getting a better life, and finding their true calling. Many of these will involve making money or providing a steady income. And some claim the "get rich quick" theme that is so familiar. You can waste lots of money on these if YOU are not prepared to succeed, and many are not. YOU have to know what you want, what your dreams are and what you would do if they were realized. Otherwise, FEAR will take over and you will never follow through. If you are more comfortable on paper, in writing, then you can write your story the way you want it to be. And there are many others out there, I have only listed a few that I personally have checked out and have found helped me. If something strikes a chord with you, if it makes you excited...go for it! and follow through! If you are worried how you'll pay for it, believe that you will have the money somehow when you need it. Move forward towards your dream.

CONCLUSION
You can have your dream. You deserve it. You must prepare for it. Eliminate negative from your life. Don't let others draw you into their negative, fearful lives. It is all right to request that others around you not talk about negative things. Stop watching the news. Filter your news to stay informed but stop taking in all the negative, all the time. DREAM BIG!! ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE!

Monday, September 07, 2009

LABOR DAY

PREFACE
I am looking for that one special man I can love and share my life with but in the meantime, I intend to bring happiness into my life every day. I have a lover I'm seeing once a week at least and now that I have my regular sex life taken care of, it's time to work on increasing my activity even more. I researched into a local bike-a-thon that I can enter to motivate me to exercise more. I love to ride my bike but haven't ridden once since I moved here almost 6 months ago. Having gained 30 lbs from March to June, I desperately need to get my ass out there and ride!

STORY
Instead I mowed the front lawn. That in itself is good exercise and burns lots of calories. 537 calories burned in 1 hour. I made my goal to start training on Tuesday if the weather permitted. I have to mow the lawn over two days, front yard one day, the backyard the next. If I try it all in one day, I could faint from heat stroke. After all, I live in central Florida and it hasn't started to cool off yet. Another week or two and then the weather is gorgeous...it's what the tourists come down here for.

CONCLUSION
Some exercise is better than no exercise. I am trying to move more every day. 5hrs/day = 20 mins/hour you are awake. This doesn't count when you are sick but still try to move when you can and rest enough to get well. Once you are well again, start back to the goal of 5hrs/day of moving (walking, climbing stairs, bike riding, grocery shopping, doing laundry, gardening, shooting pool, swimming...anything to move!). Love yourself first and love will find you.

Saturday, September 05, 2009

SEXY SATURDAY

PREFACE
I slept in again, having stayed up until 4AM playing Mafia Wars on Tagged. I had been working on my self improvement program all day Friday; writing out the first exercise, posting on the community board, and answering email. I love my life on my terms. NOT having to get up to an alarm clock, NOT having to drive to a building to work in, and NOT living by anyone else's schedule. It's heaven! I am living my dream life right now, the only things missing are a steady reliable income to sustain me into the future and a special man to share it with. But I'm working on it.

STORY
I had been thinking about WS since his visit on Wednesday. I was even kind of anxious for him to arrive. He usually gets here about 2, but today didn't arrive until almost 3. He's been working on his own house and the job had gotten really involved. We talked about what he had been doing all morning, and then I talked about what I had been doing...all the time, me leaned back sitting in my leather computer chair and him in the dining room chair across from me, with my legs up on his lap on either side of him. He rubbed my legs and ran his hands up under my skirt, discovering the extent of the shaving that I had done the night before. We both vowed to get some work done around the house today...but AFTER...we moved to a more comfortable place...my bedroom of course. He got naked while I went to the bathroom and when I came out, he was on the phone...with his wife. They had a 10 minute conversation while I took the cat out of the room and got a bottle of water. He said he had wanted to get into bed and pose all sexy for me...I told him he didn't have to try to be sexy, he already was sexy.

We played around for a little while, him on the edge of the bed, me standing in front of him. He took my dress off over my head, kissed, fondled, sucked, & licked me in all the appropriate places. I laid him back on the bed and gave him some oral attention (which he thoroughly enjoyed) and then he stopped me, stood up, embraced me, and then entered me with us both standing. It was very erotic and felt great! He said "I've never been able to do that with any other woman before." So we stood there, naked, kissing, having sex...standing up.

He turned me slowly and backed me towards the bed, laid me down without missing a stroke, and we had slow, delicious sex for the next half hour...changing position ever so slightly, this leg here, that leg there, entangled, engulfed...pelvis bone to pelvis bone...tingling, tightening...stop...shutter...start again. It was wonderful. No orgasm for me this time but there will be lots of time for that. We lingered in bed, drinking water and talking. He got up and took a shower (3 minute military shower). Then we started working on re-screening that needed to be done...before he had to leave. We got 4 done. I told him I'd work on the others so they'd be ready for him next Saturday. He said he'd try to see me during the week (which would make me very happy). There is always a certain amount of hugging and kissing, affectionate touching between us...it's very sweet.

CONCLUSION
A little talk, a little sex, a little home improvement work...life is good!

Wednesday, September 02, 2009

A WHOLE LOTTA LOVIN'

PREFACE
Wednesday was like any other day. I had gotten up around noon, started working on my self improvement program. Did laundry, trimmed some bushes, cleaned out the catbox, then decided to make some dinner before settling down to watch one of the three new movies I'd received in the mail. When there was a knock at the front door.

STORY
It was my married lover, dropping by to see me. He'd been on an errand to the airport in Orlando and had some time to come by and spend with me. I was thrilled. My dinner was ready so I loaded up my plate and sat down with WS. He talked while I ate and NCIS was on for background noise. (WS doesn't watch much TV, so he wasn't familiar with the show.) I could care less if the TV is on or not, I just like the background noise sometimes, and I really do enjoy the show (though I've seen all the episodes now, from all the seasons). After I finished eating, he took my plate and put it in the sink (I'm just not use to being pampered, but it IS a wonderful thing). He came back in the living room and said he would have to go soon. He knelt down in front of me, and I spread my legs to bring him in closer, to hug and kiss him. He ran his hands up under my shirt and pulled me closer to the edge of the couch. I unbuckled his pants and we coupled (since I don't wear underware most of the time...it was an irresistable turn on for him). It was a wonderful and unexpected pleasure. I can get use to a regular sex life!

CONCLUSION
Always be open to the unexpected pleasures of life. Savor and enjoy them for what they are. We all are given the same 24 hours, it's just some of us are enjoying it more than others.

Tuesday, September 01, 2009

TOO MUCH STIMULATION

PREFACE
Be careful when starting up a new sexual relationship! Whether it be with the opposite sex or a new sex toy. When we were young and just beginning to explore sex, there's a condition called "The Ditney (sp)" which was defined as "over f**ked and underfed"...or at least in my time. It happened when you got with a new partner and screwed like rabbits. Every which way, every moment available. Sometimes you went for days, just sex...naps...food...more sex, and repeat. (LOL) Well, apparently this can happen when breaking in a new sex toy too (and having more sex with a partner than you're use to). The condition is soreness when urinating, sometimes burning, sometimes pain, due to the overabundance of rubbing in the area of the urinary tract.

STORY
I had a reaction on Tuesday night to all the sex and sex toy play I'd had last week! It was not pleasant but it was short-lived, thank goodness. In the most delicate way I can put it, I had the urge to pee all the time! After 7 hours of it, it became quite painful. Thankfully, after taking some Motrin and drinking lots of water, it did subside. Add to the 'too much stimulation' that I had also been working outside in the heat, losing buckets of sweat and not paying attention to how much water I drank (this was for the two days prior to Tuesday night). So a combination of dehydration and over-stimulation with the Relentless Rabbit caused this urgency to manifest. It had been so long since I had experienced anything like this that I didn't recognize it for what it was. I was looking up the symptoms on the internet (which sometimes the access to so much information CAN be a bad thing) and imagining all sorts of things. Once I realized what had happened and followed my instincts, everything was fine. My instincts told me to increase my intake of water and try to bring down the inflammation, which was probably internal (hence the Motrin).

CONCLUSION
Don't be so paranoid about sex. Those in charge of education unfortunately have been fueled by the organized religions into scaring the crap out of everybody. It's all about controlling the masses. Our children have had it drilled into their heads by the school system that sex is bad (abstain), it will kill you (STDs), or you will get pregnant and ruin your life. In the 21st century, you would have thought we would be more advanced than this as a developed country. Yes, you have to be careful (STDs can be spread orally as well). Yes, you have to use protection (WARNING: lambskin is only good against pregnancy not STDs). Yes, anything in excess is bad for you (there's no shame in using lubricant). So try to practice moderation. And if you get 'The Ditney', just try to cuddle more and cause friction less for a while, or alternate manual stimulation with mechanical, to allow time for recovery. Enjoy your life as a sexual being!