Sunday, June 27, 2010


So now my sleep pattern is in VAMPIRE MODE. The fiasco of the term paper last weekend and the end of teaching for Summer Term One left me with staying up all night until dawn, then going to sleep until after noon. I slept one day for 12 hours to catch up for an all-nighter in there someplace. Will I ever get back on schedule??

Friday night...up all night...Saturday AM, sun coming up, AGAIN! and I'm not in bed nor have I been since I got up at 4PM Friday afternoon. I try to go to sleep. I listen to my meditation CD...all 45 minutes of it...still awake. I sent a text to my married lover WS to ask if he's going to come by to see me today. It's 7AM and I don't even know if he's awake or if his wife will intercept the message, or give him a hard time about it. Then I get a text back, he's in pain, can't hardly walk...don't think he'll be coming by. I sent him good thoughts and well wishes...back and forth...kiss, kiss...feel better.

I couldn't sleep so I got up and mowed the back yard. Or at least a third of it. It's so tall that I can't get through it all at once. Have to stop after 20 minutes and let the mower cool down so I can hose down the blades! It's going to take me DAYS to get it under control again.

There's a rabbit sitting by the 'wild patch' in the back corner. He doesn't move when I mow (within 8 feet of him). Now I notice there's another one about two feet from him, hunched down into the tall grass. They must have a brood in the brush and are standing vigil to protect them as best they can. How brave...and dedicated.

It's now noon and way too hot to mow again today until sunset, so I go to bed and finally to sleep. I set the alarm for 7:30PM (it gets dark at almost 9 now). It goes off and I get dressed and go out to mow again. I get another third mowed before it starts to rain. Back inside the cool AC and standing under the vent to get my body temperature back down to normal...the phone rings. It's WS and he's feeling better. He sent me text messages that I didn't answer. I told him I was mowing. 9:30...he is already in bed, but wants to see me...I want to see him...he'll be here in 45 minutes...perfect! time for me to cook dinner and shower (timed just right when he arrives!). He joins me in the shower and we have hot sex. It overworks his hip and he's in pain again.

Once I realize he has sciatica, I rub on some BioFreeze and we relax on the couch to watch the comedian shows and munch on dinner. His wife and kids are all gone away up north, so he says "I'll stay tonight"...(wow, all night...a first). WS is one of the few men that I can actually SLEEP in the same bed with, a rarity. Sex is easy, sleeping in the same bed is a difficult 'dance' to master.

It was new and different to have WS stay the night. I got about four hours sleep total. When BT is here, I get very little sleep. I spoon with both men, but I'm more comfortable with WS. What is that? I can't explain it. Maybe because BT is single, I only see him 1-2 times a year, and I don't want to miss a single minute?! Is it just me or do all women have trouble sleeping with their lovers? How is it that men can just fall asleep? Maybe if I climaxed every time I had sex, I could just fall asleep too. would have to be more than just once. I am energized after the first one. Somewhere around the third or fourth one...yeah, then I could sleep! LOL

Saturday, June 19, 2010


Waiting until the last minute to finalize my term paper resulted in the inevitable...the power supply on my computer popped, fizzled, and died before I could save, print, or review the final rough draft. I have only myself to blame.

It was the last week of my current semester and my term paper was due on Friday, June 18th (by midnight Central Time). I had been working on it feverishly since Wednesday to get all the references re-read and placed appropriately. Added the Title page, the Abstract, the Bibliography, and had expanded the three pages I had from the ten pages with citations/quotes. I was all ready to print out the rough draft to read it over and make any corrections or notes and then it happened...!! a loud POP! and the computer shut off...the faint smell of "electric fire" and I quickly pulled the CPU out from the wall and disconnected all the plugs from the back. Oh Shit!!

No! NO! NO!!...not now! Oh, shit...I hadn't saved any changes to my USB drive (flash drive...thumb drive...jump drive...whatever slang name you call it)...I hadn't backed up my term paper since it was an outline. Three days work...gone. No computer. No laptop either. 2AM in the morning...already an hour late in submitting the work. What to do?

Saturday, there was an open lab in my classroom (where I teach, 30 miles away) from 10AM-5PM. So I got some sleep and arrived at 3:30PM to email my professor what happened and beg for an extension. Then I got busy re-writing my term paper. I stayed on campus, in my classroom/lab until after midnight, Sunday AM. Drove home, stopping at the IHOP halfway to have SOMETHING to eat...I was starving after 9 hours in the computer lab. I got home at 3AM Sunday morning and slept until noon. I called a guy I found on Craigslist who deals in used laptops and made a deal for a Powerbook for $400...drove back to Port St. Lucie (35 miles) and picked it up Sunday evening. Now for the long process of setting up a new computer.

Things do work out as long as you don't freak out too much. I relaxed and went with the flow. My professor allowed me until the end of day on Monday to submit the paper. I spent most of Sunday night/Monday morning re-reading and re-writing until I finally got the paper put back together and submitted early Tuesday morning (approx. 2 AM). It wasn't as good as the first paper I wrote but it would have to do.

Tuesday was my "final exam" for the class I was teaching. I brought food & drinks for my students and we reviewed the final projects and printed some...until I realized one of the inks was out and then the paper ran out(!). Oh, well...some students could come back and reprint or I would send them their print if they wanted. Summer terms are not as accessible as other terms. Everybody enjoyed themselves. I had students that stuck around for an hour after the class was over. Most would have been gone the first hour in any other class. That's what I love about teaching much more fun...friendlier...more relaxed, less academic pressure. I love it!

Saturday, June 05, 2010


Still not done with my rough draft for my term paper. Running out of be on time. What better way to celebrate than to take the afternoon off and have sex?

I sent a text message to my married lover on Saturday morning to ask if I was going to see him. He answered "yes & it wud be nice 2 catch u comng out of d shwr" and I said that depended on how he timed his arrival. To prepare for an afternoon of sex, I mowed the front lawn. Weird, you say? Not when you consider that it was a week past due and it rained every day. (June in south Florida!) If you didn't time it right, you could be caught in a downpour; mow at a daily temperature that competes with the surface temperature of the sun; or try to mow when the grass is too high or too wet, thus having to stop every 15 minutes to wash down the blades. Last weekend's mowing was delayed by my visit from BT. I had to catch up.

I timed it just right...finishing the front lawn while the clouds were gathering and cooled the temperature some...stepped into the shower, washed, shampooed, and shaved some stubble while the conditioner softened my hair. I thought I saw some movement in the living room (without glasses I can only see clearly about 3 inches in front of my eyes)...and into the bathroom he walks in all his naked glory. WS has a very sexy body...thin, but not skinny, and muscular...with a dark, Latino color, even where he is NOT tanned from working outside.

I invited him into the shower with me and we washed each other, kissed, and then got busy. I think the shower is one of THE most sensual places to have sex, and the fact that WS is just the height that we can do it standing up is the sexiest! Pure joy! We moved into the cool, dark bedroom and continued for some time, taking turns, bringing our pleasure to the peak then slowing down, changing position. Just as I was getting to the edge (which doesn't happen often in the natural scheme of things), I thought of introducing my 'finger vibrator' to the action to help me along. It actually intensified things for him too much...but he helped me along after and we both had mutually satisfying sex. We spooned and fell asleep for 20 minutes or so...a cat nap, then we dressed and hung out...talking, looking up stuff on the computer. I enjoy talking to him about spirituality, science, dreams, and goals...and everything. His phone rang and he had to go, promising to see me a few days (mmmm, goody!).

I have been meditating twice a day for a while now. One area I've needed improvement in is my love/sex life. The manifesting is paying off with a visit from BT (a love in my life) and now WS (the fairly regular sex in my life) and a very satisfying and joyfully tiring afternoon. Namaste!

Friday, June 04, 2010



It seems I continue to struggle with my online college coursework. After illness and a back injury caused me to take an incomplete the first time, I'm retaking the course again this semester. (Oh, and I'm still not use to the shorter terms...10 weeks instead of 16! Not enough time to get it all done that's for sure.) I'm working today to complete a 'rough draft' of the term paper for this class and will probably be up all night until the sun comes up, to put it all together. Even with that, it will be 4-5 days late and I'll be penalized 20-25% on the grade.


I saw there was a blog on the page that students access when they log in. Capella calls it The Guide but it's really a clearinghouse or jumping off point for you, as a student. You can access lots of different areas of the website, just like a campus would have a Student Union Hall with guidance to services on campus. One of the blogs was called "The other 85%" so I clicked on it to investigate. It addresses the majority of the new student body of colleges and universities across America. A voice for the older new or returning post-secondary student. I think the only way the attitude of the decision-makers will change towards what is defined as "the college student" is when that administration retires and is replaced by the contemporaries of those same students. The Baby Boomers (as we are called) or younger (our adult children...horrors!

The following was what I posted to the "The Other 85%" blog. Whether it will be published is something I'll have to wait and see, but here it is for all to read:

It is so true that the ‘college kid’ is now older, wiser, more time-constrained, and has more obligations than in the 1950s. Back then you could assume that the majority of college kids were fresh out of high school and still getting support from their parents. I was not one of them.

Born in 1956, to parents that divorced in 1964. Too many kids (3), too much struggling to make ends meet, and single parenthood, made it impossible for me and my siblings to go to college. When I was 19, I checked into financial aid (1975) and there was virtually none to be had, so I married and took a clerical job. I have been divorced, married again, had and raised a child, and buried a husband. At the peak of our life together, both working 40+ hours, we earned $55K in one year ($40K or under the rest of the 20 years).

In 1993, I went to college for the first time due to the last recession. Happily married, raising a son, I earned an associate’s then a bachelor’s in 5 years, working part time, living on scholarships/grants and $18K/yr trust fund (income of my invalid husband). I started a master’s degree in ‘98 and a second master’s in 2000! Now borrowing to earn the two degrees and I came up against the 150% time constraint! The administration couldn’t acknowledge that I was working on two degrees, nor any of my other circumstances. Then my husband of 20 years died.

I am only now starting back after 6 years to earn a master’s so I can be hired as a permanent professor instead of an adjunct. And I am almost starting at square one. Capella made it possible, transferred in 12/28 credits, but I have 36 more to earn, compared to the 8 credits I was short for my degree here. The first course seems to be more tailored to the instructors than the learners, more to learning ‘lock-step’ than learner outcome. I know I’ll get through and succeed as I always have, but it would be nice if the ‘powers that be’ had a little more sympathy and empathy for the ‘new college kids’ on the block. Thanks for letting me comment.


Is there still room on campus for dissent? Can an adult, older student speak out against the establishment? Or has protesting lost it's impetus and in need of Viagra? LOL I don't think my comments would be considered too controversial but it will be interesting to see if it's published and if I get any feedback from it. And now I'm off to do my homework! Peace & Joy.

Tuesday, June 01, 2010


He instant messaged me, "You still love me enough to see me this weekend?" I answered, "Of course"...and then asked lots of questions...when, where, how long a stay...this was the day before a three-day weekend (Memorial Day weekend). My long-distance love was coming to visit after almost a year.

BT (54) lives in the DR and is the GM for a printing plant. Until about a week ago, he had been working for the same company for 8 years. They had finally screwed him over enough and he gave notice but not before making plans to have another job to step into, doing the same thing, in the same area, for a better company. A company that will put his old company out of business. He has a good business brain, and the rest of him is pretty awesome too(!).

SUNDAY: He flew into MIA and drove the 3 hours up to me and finally arrived late Sunday afternoon. Since my car is on its last legs, I hadn't made any plans to drive to Lauderdale to celebrate with family and friends so I was available for this tryst. It was a pleasant surprise and a wonderful 36 hours. He and I went to my bedroom almost immediately, our clothes fell off, and we got re-acquainted! We re-acquainted ourselves on Sunday afternoon/evening twice. It was 9:30PM before we knew it and all the local restaurants closed by then, even on a holiday weekend. So we ordered pizza delivery and watched a movie while we ate.

MONDAY: morning, we had sex again. I made us breakfast and we ate. Later that morning, BT asked what I'd like to do? I said I thought staying here and having sex would be just fine with me unless he had something else in mind he'd like to do. He said that would be fine with him too. :)

We talked about his plans and what happened with his old company. He said that he would be coming to Florida more now with the new job. More like 2-3 times a year, instead of once or twice. Well, any improvement would be welcome. I do love him and as a lover, he's exciting, sensual, determined, generous, patient...and appreciates me for me. Leftover pizza for lunch.

We did take a drive to the beach house. I wanted to show it to him and we needed to go out for an errand anyway. It was a pleasant drive down US1 to Wabasso, then across Rt510 to A1A and north up the beach highway. The house on Amberson Beach was still for rent and the owners weren't visiting. We peeped in through the front door and then went around the back and up the boardwalk to the beach. It was glorious being there with him, sharing my vision for the house as an artist's retreat (& Bed and Breakfast). He liked it and my ideas. We returned to my house and cuddled. I cooked dinner, we ate, watched two movies. Even though he got a monster headache and wasn't up to any sex, it was nice having him there...being with him. I let him nap with his head in my lap and I massaged his head and neck. Cared for him. We went to bed and 'spooned' all night. I don't get much sleep when he visits, since it's much easier to have sex with a man than to sleep with him. I'm just not use to it (but I love to hear him purr/snore).

TUESDAY: We showered together @ 5AM after he shaved (his head, and face-not covered with goatee). I love showering with him. He apologized for not feeling up to sex and I said it was fine. He also realized that it was caused by not having his traction gear for his neck for the past two days. It stretches his neck and he's had almost no headaches since he started using it. Then he quipped that he was aiming for 6' (he's 5'10" now)...I laughed and said that was a reachable goal.

I made him toast and coffee, we kissed one last time, and then he was off to Miami for his meeting at 9AM. He said, "love you" and I said, "I love you too," and watched him back out of the driveway and drive away down the street. All too soon.

If my sex life is to be made up of more than one man, BT certainly fills the 'being in love with no commitment' section. He sees it as Friends With Benefits and I've now started to accept that as all there is going to be. The more I see him, the more I realize that what we have, is what we have. I don't expect anything more of it. And I don't think I want anything more from it.

I continue to search...with the freedom to do so. I like that, and I get great joy from being with and seeing BT. I grab all the joy I can in my life, as it comes along.