Monday, November 09, 2009


I can't explain it and after the post in October. I really haven't gotten any good results and feel that it's good money thrown after bad, but I still became a paying member AGAIN! $20/month for three months, then if I want to continue (to be a masochist), it costs $30/mo. RIGHT! Like I want to pay MORE not to find someone right for me. Please! Someone...stop the bleeding (of my wallet) before I join again!

So I had just gotten over the FREE WEEKEND in October when eHarmony allowed free communication for six days! The longest I can ever recall them doing without their "money grubbing." I don't begrudge them a profit but I'm sure they are all millionaires many times over. I just don't understand their need for greed while lying through their teeth that they are so concerned about their clients and matching 'like' people so that they are lifelong relationships, and blah, blah, blah.... Anyway, back to my experience...this time...

As soon as I paid for my membership, the matches slowed down to a trickle. I was getting 4-6 matches a day while NOT paying. Now I'm getting an average of 2 per day. I had a backlog of over 40 matches clogging my match page, so I spent hours going through them to review, decide to eliminate or contact, and then close out those I wasn't interested in or who had never replied to my contact. About 2% of the matches were no longer on the site...deleted by management or themselves.

Yes, there are some sleazy men who will pay $60/month or more to entice unsuspecting women into their schemes. Some have multiple profiles and many different approaches. This is not exclusive to eHarmony but the money invested makes these slime particularly reprehensible. These are men that never learned the basic lessons in kindergarten. Run! do not walk, to the nearest lighted area, where there are crowds, and policemen!

So I've been paying now since Friday and I had a backlog of matches to go through. I hadn't checked my profile or matches since before Halloween so I had about 40 new matches and 20 older ones, varying from old to really old ("why are you hanging on to the hope that he will ever check his profile again?" kind of old). It took me several hours to go through and review each match, decide to communicate or to close out the match, or to NUDGE them one more time since I was a paying member again. You can't see each other's pictures if one of you isn't a paying member. So you can flirt (Icebreakers they call them on eHarmony) but no pics, no controlled communication, no nothing. Kind of like waving back at someone on a passing train.

So now I could see pictures along with reading their profile. I reject for sparsity of words. I mean come on! a man could spend more than 5 minutes to fill out his profile if he were really looking for something meaningful. I reject for golfers...but that's just me (already been widowed once, thank you). I reject for distance most of the time, unless the profile is really outstanding...and then the picture is attractive to me...I will make an exception here and there. I am spiritual and in touch with my concept of a higher power, but will reject a man who is steeped in dogma (organized religion can be used as an excuse to control...and I really run away from control freaks!).

So now I've weeded through 60-70 profiles, some in review of previous interest which now has a picture to enhance (or not) the chemistry of my interest. I have 9 left that I have communicated to; one of which has communicated once with me and I, twice with him. Awaiting a reply. Thank goodness this is not the only dating service I use. I can't imagine myself as I was in the beginning, almost 7 years ago, sticking to only one service, one method and letting it drain my wallet dry. I have two other services that are free from which I get lots of opportunities. More on them in a later post. I'm giving it one more try. What's $20/month? Two trips to the movie theater? one dinner out? I remain...the eternal optimist :)

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