THE MARRIED MAN

PREFACE
Put aside your opinion of infidelity for this one. I am having an affair with a married man. This is not the first time that I've been single and had a married lover. Discretion is the key here. I was married for 20 years to a man I loved and felt was my best friend. We had an understanding that if either of us were to cheat on the other, it better NOT be discovered! Neither of us were jealous having the confidence that we were strong in our relationship and had no need to go looking outside it (or at least would never let the other know we had). It takes much planning and primary consideration for your spouse, if you are going to have an affair. You cannot risk STDs, evidence that can be discovered, nor guilt about your actions. You must BE THERE for your spouse, if there is ANY need at all. If you violate any of these, you WILL be found out and someone will be hurt. But what if your spouse never finds out and you have your affair? Who is hurt by this?

STORY
We met online on a community oriented website. We emailed back and forth and IM'd once before actually meeting. It was understood that he was to come to my house and complete some repairs (for no compensation) and we would get an idea whether or not it would move to a more affectionate arrangement. He came over the first time and we talked about repairs needed, about each other's lives and where we were at the moment. I cooked him dinner. and we talked some more about our beliefs and ideas. We found much in common. And we kissed at the end of the evening before parting, and confirmed that we both were attracted to each other. He left with us both wanting more.

The next week he came and did several repairs around the house, which was glorious since I couldn't do them. Then we sat on the couch and necked for a while. I massaged his back as he had worked very hard and was sore. We kissed and touched and generally explored each other. Nothing more intimate than 'third base' but we had waited too long to really get into anything sexual before he had to go home to his wife and family. I thought it was going very well. We were taking it slow (almost too slow for me!) and he was very a very sweet and gentle lover with a lot of smoldering passion that was VERY exciting and stimulating.

Then for several weeks there was always something that came up to prevent him (WS) from coming to see me until last Saturday, 8/29/09, only four days after my blissful encounter with BT. "What!" you say..."you would have sex with another man four days after BT? the man you supposedly love?" Yes. BT and I are not exclusive. He does not include me in his day-to-day life in the DR. So why not?

THE ENCOUNTER
Saturday, 8/29: WS is due to arrive around 2PM. I have been up all night and had just fallen asleep at 7AM.I text him to his phone and ask if he could postpone for an hour for me to get a little more sleep? He text me back "Would you like breakfast in bed?" I text "That would be lovely. The doors unlocked." (NOTE: I sleep naked. It saves time when I have hot flashes at night. I can just throw off the covers, cool down, then pull the covers back on and go back to sleep. My hot flashes last about 4-5 mins. but will wake me from a sound sleep. You learn to live with it.)

So WS arrives around 1PM with breakfast from a local diner (he was going to cook for me but decided that this would be better). Then he proceeded to feed me breakfast! I have never been pampered like this. The luxury of not having to cook breakfast or even feed myself. With affectionate kisses in between. (NOTE: I was nude with only bed covers in between me and him.) After I finished the eggs & cheese, with some whole wheat toast & several bites of ham (I don't usually eat bread or breakfast meats), I sipped my coffee and we talked casually.

I then asked him if he would massage my neck and shoulders, as I had suffered from a stiff neck for two days now. He was more than eager and has very good hands. This led to revealing more of my naked body as I lay on my stomach and he massaged away my tension. His hands on my bare skin, the soothing slickness of the lotion, and our heightened arousal...all led to us having our first sexual encounter. He was very sensual, generous, and showed great control of his orgasm. But once I turned my back to him, with his body spooned up against mine and we did it doggie style, he lost all control (can you blame him?).

He said he was so sorry that I hadn't cum. I said, "No worries. You can watch and help me orgasm." and he said he'd like that very much. So I brought out my new sex toy, the Relentless Rabbit, and we both enjoyed my orgasm. He said that he would have to work on giving me an orgasm and that I had to not limit myself with thoughts that "I can't have an orgasm except 'this way or that'...." I told him that I am always open to accepting stimulation as it happens during sex. (What I would like is to cum once for every time my partner cums. That would great!) We lay in bed most of the afternoon and into the evening. We talked about his wife being distant sexually to him, her clingy need to revolve around him, the loss of their 21 yo son a year ago in an auto accident and the losses I have suffered (husband, brother, mother & father). We both feel that you have to be thankful for each day and enjoy the joy that enters your life. We are sharing some joy, pleasure, human connection, happiness,...without any burden or expectations. Then he took a shower and left, kissing me goodbye before he left.

CONCLUSION
No matter your opinion of cheating, we all need human contact. We need to be desired, to have our thoughts and ideas listened to, to be encouraged that we matter...that our existence is important. Being confident in who you are, having self esteem, and projecting your dreams and desires into your reality...will bring you that which you desire. You can only hope that you give joy into the universe and try your hardest not to hurt anyone in the process. I am not here to prove or justify what is right or wrong...I give love unconditionally out into the universe and have received joy and comfort in return, without really expecting it. A regular sex life is a wonderful thing!

REVELLING IN THE AFTERGLOW

I am still floating in the afterglow of a mutually satisfying sexual encounter. BT arrived at my door on Monday at 5PM. We hadn't seen each other since May 12th, when we spent 90 minutes together (a much shorter time than originally planned). Before that we had not been together for two years. So you can understand why I am still glowing after our 17 hours we spent together this week!

We kissed and said hello and after a short tour of my new home, we went back to my bedroom and got naked. BT and I have a powerful sexual attraction for each other and for the next three hours we had sex three times, with short naps in between for him. The sex is so good and intense. The naps were understandable since he HAD just put his three children (all in college) on a plane to Boston after spending the week in Orlando with them and drove 2 hours to get to me. We cuddled and he told me about a shake up at work, about his refusal to sign a new contract, and plans to leave and start his own company. All this to happen in the next week or so. I realized that if this relationship is to move forward, I will have to visit the Santo Domingo (DR) and see for myself why he loves it there so much. He has no intension of moving back to the states to live (at least at this point in his life).

We ordered pizza and watched THE WATCHMEN DVD which he had with him and I had not seen as yet. It was an interesting "comic book" movie done in the dark, violent tradition of SIN CITY and set in the 1980s (as much as I could tell). It was a very long movie but enjoyable. This one had some of everything in it; love story, chop-socky 'matrix' fight scenes, good pyrotechnics, flawed heroes galore, and a little humor here and there. BT fell asleep while we held hands watching the movie. At midnight we went to bed, naked and spooning...mmm, such a lovely way to sleep, that is if I did sleep, which I didn't much. Sex is easy, sleeping together isn't. BT does not snore very loudly, thankfully, but I'm just not use to sleeping with anyone anymore. But even in sleeplessness, I love to hear him breathe and listen to the low rumble of his snoring. It's comforting, knowing that no bears will attack (LOL).

I had set the alarm for 6AM to get some "morning wood" action and though his flesh was willing with a little hand work from me, he would not wake up enough to have sex. I accepted defeat for the moment and rolled over with my back to him...as he rolled over to spoon and envelop me with him strong arms. I dozed for a while until I felt his "flesh" becoming aroused all by itself (which is one of the BEST ways to be awakened in my book). We had sex for the fourth time and after his finish, I said, "OK, my turn. Do you want to watch me cum?" He said an enthusiastic YES! and I got out my new toy (a finger vibrator). He had orgasmed four times and not once for me, as I need direct stimulation. He spooned up behind me, touching me, kissing/biting my neck/ears...after about 20 minutes, I asked him to give me his oral attention, at which he is exceedingly good. Then after 20 more minutes, I became too overstimulated, feeling my blood pressure rise and hyperventilating, so I asked him to stop so I could rest. It is the best you can feel without actually having an orgasm. As soon as I had recovered a normal heart rate and breathing, I brought out my other new toy...the Relentless Rabbit. An improvement over the original and it did the trick within 15 minutes...with BT giving much attention to my body. He was quite happy to see me orgasm (as was I!). He then asked for oral attention from me as he knows I am glad to give him a happy ending. I enjoy it almost as much as he does. We cuddled some more and then took a shower together (another great level of intimacy for us). Then all too soon, it was time for him to go.

17 hours of bliss. As he walked towards his rental in the driveway, I told him "I love you"...he said "Love you too." That was the first time we'd said it since he arrived. Words do not speak as loudly as actions, nor the way someone makes you feel. I can live with that for now.

10 DAYS TO BLISS

Now that I finally know that BT is coming on the 24th, I almost can't stand the wait. 10 days and counting!

He and I met online (8/20/05) through AmericanSingles.com when I was a paying member after he sent me the first contact email. This was just before Hurricane Katrina brushed Florida and went on to demolish New Orleans. He had been divorced a couple years and was living in Santo Domingo in the Dominican Republic. Originally from the Boston area, he was GM of a plant in Santo Domingo. He would fly every two weeks to Boston to visit with his three children and would fly through Miami International Airport.

The first time I met him, was during one of his layovers at MIA. We had been emailing and IM'g for about ten days before he had a 90 minute stop at MIA and wanted to meet me. Through a series of mis-communications (something that seems to plague us throughout our relationship), I was in the wrong area of the airport and my cellphone was useless to call him. I finally found him and was so upset at all the time that was wasted that I cried. He was so gentle and caring...he took me aside to a spot that was more private, and he held me, hugged me, and then we kissed (monumental, fireworks, earthshaking...WOW kisses!). We did this for about 15 minutes before they called for his flight to Boston. I walked him to his gate and watched him until he disappeared from view. That was the first of many short encounters, with long separations and some emails and IMs in between.

April 2007, we spent 48 hours in a hotel room across from Miami Airport. The longest time we had had together in two years of brief encounters and long silences. BT had been assigned additional plants to supervise, one in Honduras. I was very worried about his safety. I decided to tell him that I loved him and let him off the hook about telling me back. I just wanted him to know that I loved him. I emailed him while he was in flight that I was afraid that I had scared him by telling him. He emailed me that telling me hadn't scared him, it had only made him want to be back with me even more than before. Then I didn't hear a word from him for three months! No email replies, no IM replies. I was so worried that something had happened and no one there knew to notify me about it. I finally emailed his work email and got a response. One that ripped my guts out. He had found someone in SD and they had been seeing each other for two months! I cried for three days. I was devastated. I had finally found that I could love someone after losing George, only to lose that love to someone more convenient...a local. It took me a long time to recover.

August 2008, I received an email from BT after more than a year of silence. He was re-establishing contact with me at one of the lowest times in my life. I wasn't able to meet with him as he flew through MIA (I had no transportation at the time and was living in a spare room at my sister's). His company had cut back on travel expenses and he only flew to Boston every six weeks or so, if then. He was traveling much more for business than to visit his kids. In one of his emails he said it was nice to know he had such a good friend "with benefits" in Florida. We IM'd and emailed, signing with 'Love ya.' Then we met in May 2009 for a short encounter during a layover at Orlando Airport. I still love him and will take what ever pleasure I can get from his company. Life is short...life is good.

WEIGHT LOSS

I started taking REZMelt a month ago (7/3). It's dissolve-on-your-tongue Resveritrol tablets. I got them for a free trial (which was to be two weeks, but in an accounting accident, I got two orders and just paid the S&H). Very tasty and easy to remember to let two of them dissolve on my tongue in the morning when I got up. So...I finished them on Tuesday. I lost 7 lbs in the month I took them, without doing anything different.

On July 28th, I finally received my free trial of Sensa. It is a two month supply that you use every day for a 30 day free trial (only pay S&H), but if you want to continue past the 30 days, you pay $90 for the two month supply and then you let them know when you want the next shipment to keep you on track. I've lost 8 lbs in 11 days! Sensa is a combination of "tastants" (their word for the seasonings) that you sprinkle on your food...ALL the food you eat (except soups or smoothies/drinks). There's one sprinkle for salty and one for sweet. You use the month's shakers (there's two so you can take one with you and leave one at home) and then you discard it when you start using the next month's supply. The "tastants" change each month so you don't get use to them.

It works through your sense of smell and taste, telling your body that you are full. (Sensa...senses...Duh! hello!) You start to eat less without any effort. I haven't really noticed that I'm eating less but the I have lost a total of 15 lbs since July 6th. I don't care how it works, and as long as there's no bad stuff in it...I'm using it! They are even in the process of removing a slight dye they had in the sprinkles so you could see it on the food, just to accommodate those with allergies to Yellow food dye. There's a community set up with forums for support.

I figured I'd try it in combination with other things that are suppose to stimulate weight loss. Food journal, Resveritrol, increased activity, and the Sensa. It's working, and that's what matters.

LATEX ALLERGY - CONDOMS

Some people know that they are allergic to latex. They break out on their skin wherever a bandage/bandaid touches. Or they discovered the hard way by trial and error, that their allergy extends to latex condoms and more!

I knew I was allergic to latex but never made the connection. I was married for 20 years and didn't need to use condoms. Before that, I was having sex in the late 70s, early 80s and there wasn't any great need to protect against STDs, just pregnancy. The few times I did use a condom during sex, it felt rough inside me. I didn't think anything of it, just thought that was what it was suppose to feel like (a stick poking me!). I rarely had partners that only penetrated once to completion, but had repeat sessions and used many condoms. If it was more than 3 times, I would be sore for days. Didn't want any more sex until it subsided. I NEVER made the connection!

It was not until I was back out into the dating scene after 20 years and scared to death of the mutant STDs now out there...so I insisted on condoms! When I finally HAD sex (more on that later), I insisted he use a condom for me to perform oral. Well, low and behold, I next day I ended up with a sore throat, mouth, tongue, and the edges of my mouth. DING! DING! the light went on! We only had one session so I was only slightly sore down there. I immediately started researching online if there were any non-latex condoms on the market. And the answer is yes.

You have two choices (actually three, but one is not a choice for me). You can use lambskin, which will protect you from pregnancy but not STDs! There is ONLY one size made in polypropelene (vinyl/rubber - non-latex). There are NO MAGNUMS!! NO larger than average non-latex condoms out there! There are condoms FOR WOMEN that are non-latex (not my choice!). Even sex toys were limited to ONE that was non-latex!

Things are improving. There are now two manufacturers making non-latex condoms, but no large sizes yet. There are more non-latex sex toys out there than three years ago. (Imagine - allergic to your vibrator/dildo?!)

Let's hope that the market catches up with the demand soon. For all us girls who know that size matters and prefer more than above average. (wink, wink)