PREFACE
You meet for the first time, you know within five minutes that you are not into this person as a romantic interest. It might be possible that you could be friends but do you really want to invest the time in getting to know each other? Maybe, maybe not. You may even go so far as to give it the chance of a goodnight kiss. Still nothing. Do you tell them now? Before you part ways?
STORY
I hear different responses from different friends. (1) Tell the person right away that you are not interested in a second date. (2) Give it a chance by agreeing to a second date and see what happens. (3) Let them know as soon as communication exchanged between the two of you has given you enough indication that this relationship is not going anywhere. (4) Go out several times and give it enough time to grow to like/love the person. (5) Don't be so picky. Anyone can become a soul mate. (This last one I really DON'T understand!)
Are we so thin skinned that we cannot take rejection? Or so afraid of being insensitive or "the bad guy" that we can't be adult and honest? Is it better to be with someone who doesn't feel the same affection towards us, rather than be alone or to avoid hurting their feelings?
CONCLUSION
My answer...NO! DO NOT SETTLE!! Being alone is not the same as being lonely. Anyone can find things to fill "alone time" without having to be constantly entertained or affirmed. Go with your instincts and be honest. It is the only way to be true to yourself. And after all is said and done, you have to live with yourself! Happy Dating!!
Monday, June 06, 2011
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
OUTBACK: PART DEUX
PREFACE
Two weeks ago I went to dinner with AW at Outback. I was running late and called him on my way to the restaurant which is only considerate. I was 20 minutes late which might have sent many men into a tantrum but AW was cool with it. He's easy-going, polite, attentive, and attractive. So why wouldn't I give him a chance to make me happy?
STORY
I am not physically attracted to him. There...I said it. I can't imagine myself having sex with him. Women can say this. Men can think about having sex with any woman (they make a multitude of jokes about it) or go through with sex with a woman while thinking of another woman (not saying that women don't do this too). Women think too much. We over-think everything, most of the time. It is our un-doing!
The first red flag was his statement that he just wanted to go to dinner and not a movie, because he didn't want to share the time with a movie. Meaning that he wanted no distractions from concentrating his attention on me. He just wants to cuddle with me. To watch a movie at my house and just "chill" with a pizza would make him happy. Starting to sound too familiar.
CONCLUSION
So I was going to tell him that he shouldn't waste any more time pursuing me. But maybe he wants to...waste his time. I am too nice. There are numerous women who would have him take them to dinner, movies, expensive shows, concerts, and spend, spend, spend...not me. I like him but he doesn't stimulate me intellectually.
Two weeks ago I went to dinner with AW at Outback. I was running late and called him on my way to the restaurant which is only considerate. I was 20 minutes late which might have sent many men into a tantrum but AW was cool with it. He's easy-going, polite, attentive, and attractive. So why wouldn't I give him a chance to make me happy?
STORY
I am not physically attracted to him. There...I said it. I can't imagine myself having sex with him. Women can say this. Men can think about having sex with any woman (they make a multitude of jokes about it) or go through with sex with a woman while thinking of another woman (not saying that women don't do this too). Women think too much. We over-think everything, most of the time. It is our un-doing!
The first red flag was his statement that he just wanted to go to dinner and not a movie, because he didn't want to share the time with a movie. Meaning that he wanted no distractions from concentrating his attention on me. He just wants to cuddle with me. To watch a movie at my house and just "chill" with a pizza would make him happy. Starting to sound too familiar.
CONCLUSION
So I was going to tell him that he shouldn't waste any more time pursuing me. But maybe he wants to...waste his time. I am too nice. There are numerous women who would have him take them to dinner, movies, expensive shows, concerts, and spend, spend, spend...not me. I like him but he doesn't stimulate me intellectually.
Monday, April 04, 2011
OUTBACK FOR BEGINNERS
PREFACE
I really am getting ahead of myself. I am about to get up from the computer, get dressed and drive 15 miles to Outback Steakhouse to meet yet another online contact. He is driving up from West Palm Beach (80 miles away!). I am treating this as casually as I can.
STORY
We met about a 3 weeks ago on this new site I just joined, BBPeopleMeet.com It is for people who are overweight or tall & overweight or men who like very curvy women. I have avoided this kind of online dating site because of some horror stories about Chubby Chasers (men who are borderline, and not so borderline, fetish or obsessed with overweight women). I prefer men who are average or athletic, even 30-40lbs over their optimum weight, but not obese. Reason being it makes for awkwardness in the bedroom, and sometimes downright a turn-off or impossibility. Two fat people trying to have sex can be very unsatisfying (at least in my experience).
CONCLUSION
I do like AM from our email exchanges and he has a pleasant voice on the phone. I am not turned on my the picture he has posted on his profile, and my gut feelings are that I am not expecting any sparks to fly. I am just expecting a pleasant meal and conversation for a change in my routine of late. I am hoping he is not expecting anything more than that. He invited me to dinner, but I will be honest with my impression and feelings for him...and then offer to pay for my meal. Stay tuned for more....
I really am getting ahead of myself. I am about to get up from the computer, get dressed and drive 15 miles to Outback Steakhouse to meet yet another online contact. He is driving up from West Palm Beach (80 miles away!). I am treating this as casually as I can.
STORY
We met about a 3 weeks ago on this new site I just joined, BBPeopleMeet.com It is for people who are overweight or tall & overweight or men who like very curvy women. I have avoided this kind of online dating site because of some horror stories about Chubby Chasers (men who are borderline, and not so borderline, fetish or obsessed with overweight women). I prefer men who are average or athletic, even 30-40lbs over their optimum weight, but not obese. Reason being it makes for awkwardness in the bedroom, and sometimes downright a turn-off or impossibility. Two fat people trying to have sex can be very unsatisfying (at least in my experience).
CONCLUSION
I do like AM from our email exchanges and he has a pleasant voice on the phone. I am not turned on my the picture he has posted on his profile, and my gut feelings are that I am not expecting any sparks to fly. I am just expecting a pleasant meal and conversation for a change in my routine of late. I am hoping he is not expecting anything more than that. He invited me to dinner, but I will be honest with my impression and feelings for him...and then offer to pay for my meal. Stay tuned for more....
Thursday, March 31, 2011
LOVE, MONEY, HEALTH & JOY
I was about to title this entry with NO in front of each word but stopped myself before attracting the opposite of what is desired. The Law of Attraction is restatement of positive thinking. Your mind does not hear the NO, NOT, NEVER. Always state things in the positive.
STORY
If you want NO pain, all your mind hears is PAIN. So you need to concentrate on PAINLESS or PAIN FREE. If you say "I don't want to leave" all your mind hears is "I want to leave" instead of saying "I want to stay and be happy." Negative thoughts are so much easier because we have been programmed by our environment, our parents, or spouses and friends...however well meaning they think they are. Being a positive thinker is hard work in some circumstances.
What we think is what will be. Thought is manifestation. I do believe that it all started with a thought...the BIG BANG...Creation...God. One thought...One idea. LOVE?
God lives within me, as me.
That which we think we are, we are. Everything that happens is of our own making. Our reality is of our own making.
CONCLUSION
Tuesday, March 01, 2011
FEBRUARY - FREE (E)HARMONY!
PREFACE
Well eHarmony has done it again! They put themselves out there...phishing for members...with a free month (the shortest of the year) of communication between ALL members, paying or not. Communication up to FREE COMMUNICATION through their site-based email.
STORY
I have been a member of eHarmony for 8 years now. No, not a paying member all that time (I'd be bankrupt several times over!). The advantage of being a non-paying member? None, except when they offer "specials" like 3 months for the price of one month, free weekends or three-day holiday weekends, and just recently, 10-day stretches of FREE. All with their own restrictions (in fine print) but shows that eHarmony is trying to be competitive. Their regular $59 per month charge is OUTRAGEOUS in terms of comparison to other dating sites charges and comparable results (no matter what their commercial ads say).
I took full advantage of the month and made a few connections but again, nothing that has progressed into an actual face-to-face meeting. I have made one contact who lives up north, far away. He seems to be a good match but there are "problems" with communication on the phone. I have run into "scheduled" phone calls before. Most of the time it means there is a wife or live-in girlfriend involved. Although his explanation is plausible in that I have encountered it myself. He says that the place where he lives interferes with cellphone signals and he can only talk in certain places in the house. He also has roommates (?) so talking on the phone can be annoying or disruptive to "them."
My similar situation was at my sister's house where I lived for a year...NO cellphone signal could get through her walls. I had to run out the front or back door into the yard to pick up an incoming call. To make a call I could sit very, very still next to my computer in my room or on the toilet (not necessarily doing any business), or out in the yard. I could send text messages...lower level signal so they could get through more often than not. Oh, and she didn't allow me to give out her phone number at the house to any of my dates (in case of psychos...not that I dated any...thank god).
CONCLUSION
I am a trusting person and always believe the best of people, until proven wrong. I am only suspicious when I come across the same scenario again and again. Suspicion may be too harsh a word. Be aware. Proceed with caution.
Well eHarmony has done it again! They put themselves out there...phishing for members...with a free month (the shortest of the year) of communication between ALL members, paying or not. Communication up to FREE COMMUNICATION through their site-based email.
STORY
I have been a member of eHarmony for 8 years now. No, not a paying member all that time (I'd be bankrupt several times over!). The advantage of being a non-paying member? None, except when they offer "specials" like 3 months for the price of one month, free weekends or three-day holiday weekends, and just recently, 10-day stretches of FREE. All with their own restrictions (in fine print) but shows that eHarmony is trying to be competitive. Their regular $59 per month charge is OUTRAGEOUS in terms of comparison to other dating sites charges and comparable results (no matter what their commercial ads say).
I took full advantage of the month and made a few connections but again, nothing that has progressed into an actual face-to-face meeting. I have made one contact who lives up north, far away. He seems to be a good match but there are "problems" with communication on the phone. I have run into "scheduled" phone calls before. Most of the time it means there is a wife or live-in girlfriend involved. Although his explanation is plausible in that I have encountered it myself. He says that the place where he lives interferes with cellphone signals and he can only talk in certain places in the house. He also has roommates (?) so talking on the phone can be annoying or disruptive to "them."
My similar situation was at my sister's house where I lived for a year...NO cellphone signal could get through her walls. I had to run out the front or back door into the yard to pick up an incoming call. To make a call I could sit very, very still next to my computer in my room or on the toilet (not necessarily doing any business), or out in the yard. I could send text messages...lower level signal so they could get through more often than not. Oh, and she didn't allow me to give out her phone number at the house to any of my dates (in case of psychos...not that I dated any...thank god).
CONCLUSION
I am a trusting person and always believe the best of people, until proven wrong. I am only suspicious when I come across the same scenario again and again. Suspicion may be too harsh a word. Be aware. Proceed with caution.
Sunday, January 30, 2011
LOVE IS IN THE AIR!?
This new year has given renewed hope to me in the form of "try something new." The definition of insanity is repeatedly doing something the same way and expecting different results. I cannot keep trolling the dating sites, reading endless profiles, and going on countless 'first meetings' without some positive results. I have realized that I must lighten up (in many ways) and get on with what I want.
STORY
I figure I have read approximately 30,000 profiles, on more than a dozen dating sites...and that doesn't count the ones that I glanced at and dismissed for one RED FLAG or another. The RED FLAGS are different for everybody but I'm sure there are some that are universal; not bothering to fill out more than basic information (or filling it with xxxxxxxxx's or other symbols), no picture (along with no info), one picture from 50 yards away or close-up of hat & sunglasses (member of Wit-Sec??).
My personal RED FLAGS are; golfer (don't need to be widowed again), hates cats, just wants the hook-up (casual sex), someone whose body language in their picture says volumes (no smile, crossed arms, bar scene with drink in hand...mostly depends on how drunk they look in the pic), holding up BIG fish (as your main profile pic?? come on...really?), all profile pics are of toys (Vet, Harley, speedy boat...etc...compensating for a little penis, ED, or mid-life crisis?), women in the pic with no explanation as to who they are, men who live farther than a two hour drive (they will never make the trip to meet and just want internet sex...more on that later), former contacts that have changed their ID (more than once) or have multiple profiles but I recognize their picture, long-winded profiles with massive misspellings/horrible grammar, and more for another time.
CONCLUSION
It continues to amaze me that men and women (or any couples) get together with so many variables to consider. I don't judge any relationship that works, however it is configured. We are all God's creatures and as long as no one gets hurt, what is the big deal?? We all are worthy of love and there is someone for everyone. FINDING that someone is the biggest challenge.
Spring is in the air. Recent rain in my area has made the grass green again, one of the first signs of spring in Florida. The next three weeks are the BEST of winter in Florida and then SPRING pops out all over the place. I can only hope that LOVE is poised and ready to do the same! Oh, did I mention that eHarmony is having FREE CONTACT for a MONTH!! I told you there are signs of spring.
Sunday, January 16, 2011
THE CANADIANS HAVE ARRIVED!!
PREFACE
I was driving to Fort Pierce on Friday and noticed three (3) motorhomes traveling south with Quebec license plates. Fort Lauderdale is the mecca for Canandians in January.
STORY
I was going to Ft. Pierce to apply for a payday loan and reflecting on these motorhomes...these self-contained, gas-guzzling, house-on-wheels...driving south to park for a month or more in south Florida in order to avoid the crippling cold of Canada. I don't blame them!
As an acclimated Floridian (one that's lived more than 30 years in Florida...actually 42 years for me), I chose to live here. I am a "lizard" and not a "snow bunny." I spent enough time in snow, cold weather with wind blowing 35 mph and not able to wear enough clothes to keep the cold wind from cutting through you...to the BONE! Nice to visit...not nice to live in. It is not quite far enough into the winter for it to be THE RIGHT TIME TO BE IN FLORIDA. The last week in January to the third week in February are the BEST time in Florida. It is the reason people come to Florida.
CONCLUSION
The "optimum time" of the season in Florida is what keeps the economy in Florida going for the rest of the year!! it officially runs from Labor Day to Memorial Day (Sept - May) but that is the whole "season" in Florida. There are four "optimum" weeks...and they are almost here...and so are the CANADIANS!! LOL God Bless 'em!
I was driving to Fort Pierce on Friday and noticed three (3) motorhomes traveling south with Quebec license plates. Fort Lauderdale is the mecca for Canandians in January.
STORY
I was going to Ft. Pierce to apply for a payday loan and reflecting on these motorhomes...these self-contained, gas-guzzling, house-on-wheels...driving south to park for a month or more in south Florida in order to avoid the crippling cold of Canada. I don't blame them!
As an acclimated Floridian (one that's lived more than 30 years in Florida...actually 42 years for me), I chose to live here. I am a "lizard" and not a "snow bunny." I spent enough time in snow, cold weather with wind blowing 35 mph and not able to wear enough clothes to keep the cold wind from cutting through you...to the BONE! Nice to visit...not nice to live in. It is not quite far enough into the winter for it to be THE RIGHT TIME TO BE IN FLORIDA. The last week in January to the third week in February are the BEST time in Florida. It is the reason people come to Florida.
CONCLUSION
The "optimum time" of the season in Florida is what keeps the economy in Florida going for the rest of the year!! it officially runs from Labor Day to Memorial Day (Sept - May) but that is the whole "season" in Florida. There are four "optimum" weeks...and they are almost here...and so are the CANADIANS!! LOL God Bless 'em!
Sunday, January 02, 2011
EHARMONY SUCKS! ONCE AGAIN
PREFACE
Again my original opinion of eHarmony prevails. They were running a "free" week of communication this last week of 2010. I have been given a few survey feedback opportunities in the past year and it seems their marketing department has been listening. eHarmony actually ran a 10-day "free" communication promo, which is unheard of in the annals of money-grubbing big business. It even allowed for open communication at that time. I have taken their offer of three months for the price of one month a few times this past year due to them also offering to bill it in three payments of $19.98 per month,
STORY
Free communication up to the OPEN COMMUNICATION! I was going through the steps with a promising contact and then I got to the last of the "guided" communication. There is suppose to be OPEN communication, just like regular email except based inside eHarmony. When I clicked on open communication, I was taken to the membership advertisement page with the selection of the different payment plans. I could not get back to the last questions I had asked and he had answered. I couldn't get back to any of the previous contact. That's just calculating and devious. If I had not figured out a way to contact this man outside of eHarmony, I would have been obligated to pay for membership to continue our exchange.
CONCLUSION
eHarmony is ALL ABOUT THE MONEY. They are not about people finding each other or making a connection that can be explored. It is not about happiness and love. It is all about dangling the carrot. They are DESPICABLE!
Again my original opinion of eHarmony prevails. They were running a "free" week of communication this last week of 2010. I have been given a few survey feedback opportunities in the past year and it seems their marketing department has been listening. eHarmony actually ran a 10-day "free" communication promo, which is unheard of in the annals of money-grubbing big business. It even allowed for open communication at that time. I have taken their offer of three months for the price of one month a few times this past year due to them also offering to bill it in three payments of $19.98 per month,
STORY
Free communication up to the OPEN COMMUNICATION! I was going through the steps with a promising contact and then I got to the last of the "guided" communication. There is suppose to be OPEN communication, just like regular email except based inside eHarmony. When I clicked on open communication, I was taken to the membership advertisement page with the selection of the different payment plans. I could not get back to the last questions I had asked and he had answered. I couldn't get back to any of the previous contact. That's just calculating and devious. If I had not figured out a way to contact this man outside of eHarmony, I would have been obligated to pay for membership to continue our exchange.
CONCLUSION
eHarmony is ALL ABOUT THE MONEY. They are not about people finding each other or making a connection that can be explored. It is not about happiness and love. It is all about dangling the carrot. They are DESPICABLE!
Saturday, January 01, 2011
DO SOMETHING YOU HAVE NOT DONE BEFORE
PREFACE
If you want something to happen that has not happened before, do something you have not done before. To expect different results from doing the same thing over and over is the definition of insanity.
STORY
If you are single:
...walk up to five people of the opposite sex and say, "I think you are very attractive and I wanted to introduce myself to you. My name is ... and here is my card. Get in touch if you are interested. Have a great day." Only do it if you are genuinely attracted to them. What have you got to lose? Five business cards?
Join a group that shares an interest of yours. You will be among peers and make new friends.
Take a lesson. Sign up for dance lessons, flying lessons, swimming lessons, adult education classes...it could be JUST ONE CLASS. Try something new.
Go somewhere you have never gone until now...it could be a restaurant, a street you haven't explored, a neighbor you don't know, or out of town. Change your scenery, make a friend, try new food...it will do wonders for your enjoyment of the day.
CONCLUSION
A new day, a new year, a new decade...Happy New Year!
If you want something to happen that has not happened before, do something you have not done before. To expect different results from doing the same thing over and over is the definition of insanity.
STORY
If you are single:
...walk up to five people of the opposite sex and say, "I think you are very attractive and I wanted to introduce myself to you. My name is ... and here is my card. Get in touch if you are interested. Have a great day." Only do it if you are genuinely attracted to them. What have you got to lose? Five business cards?
Join a group that shares an interest of yours. You will be among peers and make new friends.
Take a lesson. Sign up for dance lessons, flying lessons, swimming lessons, adult education classes...it could be JUST ONE CLASS. Try something new.
Go somewhere you have never gone until now...it could be a restaurant, a street you haven't explored, a neighbor you don't know, or out of town. Change your scenery, make a friend, try new food...it will do wonders for your enjoyment of the day.
CONCLUSION
A new day, a new year, a new decade...Happy New Year!
WELCOME 2011!! HAPPY NEW YEAR!
PREFACE
A new day, a new year, and a new decade! 1/1/11...there MUST be something significant about THAT! Skeptics will say that any day can be a new start if you decide it to be. But come on! 1-1-11!?
STORY
For me it is a new start because I decide it is. I start teaching on Wednesday and I'm teaching FIVE classes. I'm so excited and I'll be making enough money to relax a little about my finances. It has been a long struggle back from a year of unemployment. And I am very happy to be a 'professor' again, teaching undergrads. I truly LOVE teaching (anything, to anybody) but I get a great feeling of accomplishment teaching at this level. The place, people, and students are wonderful!
CONCLUSION
No matter what your circumstances, there is always room for improvement. First there was the thought, then the manifestation. The WORD, and then the LIGHT! I am grateful for all I am, all I have, and everyone I know and love. I welcome 2011 and all the possibilities!
A new day, a new year, and a new decade! 1/1/11...there MUST be something significant about THAT! Skeptics will say that any day can be a new start if you decide it to be. But come on! 1-1-11!?
STORY
For me it is a new start because I decide it is. I start teaching on Wednesday and I'm teaching FIVE classes. I'm so excited and I'll be making enough money to relax a little about my finances. It has been a long struggle back from a year of unemployment. And I am very happy to be a 'professor' again, teaching undergrads. I truly LOVE teaching (anything, to anybody) but I get a great feeling of accomplishment teaching at this level. The place, people, and students are wonderful!
CONCLUSION
No matter what your circumstances, there is always room for improvement. First there was the thought, then the manifestation. The WORD, and then the LIGHT! I am grateful for all I am, all I have, and everyone I know and love. I welcome 2011 and all the possibilities!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
