Sunday, May 10, 2009


And it is a mutha' of a day. 37 years without one, missing her every Mother's Day, birthday (hers, mine, my son's), holiday, and any day that I'm depressed and feeling like I have no focus or purpose. Any day that I need comfort, guidance, support, or motherly wisdom, the vacuum left behind in her absence is a cavernous ache in my heart and soul. I had to face becoming an adult woman, becoming a wife, pregnancy, childbirth, young motherhood, empty nest, widowhood, and menopause without a mother to help me through any of it.

The only thing that got me through it all is the part of me that is her. Her determination, strength of will, tenacity, and the unwavering conviction that I can be and have whatever...if I want it bad enough. Nothing is impossible. I have her sheer appreciation and enjoyment of simple pleasures and pure beauty. Through example and necessity, she taught me independence and self-reliance. She taught me to be frugal but always invest in that which is made well and lasts. I inherited her thirst for knowledge. I see her in my son and my nephew...little sparks that remind me of her.

I'm trying to read through her diaries and create something from them. Something that will live on long after I'm gone from this plane of existence. I only had her in my life for 15 1/2 years and I would like her to "come alive" to my son and my granddaughter, who never had the chance to know her. I remember her and my sister remembers her, but the memory of Sunny Anderson needs to be accessible to the future. I don't want her spark to go unnoticed.

Evelyn (Sunny) Marie Insley Anderson (April 16, 1923 - July 2, 1972)

Happy Mother's Day, Mom! I love you and miss you.

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