PREFACE
A new year. What joy will this year bring to me? Every day is a new chance for joy. Not just the first day of the new year. But we all see it and mark it as a new beginning.
STORY
This year brings along with it the old problems of the last two years, since #45 was put into the presidency. I resolved last year to "unplug" from the news on the weekends on Friday night and not watch the news again until Sunday night. This gives me a break from the non-stop dumpster fire that is the Trump presidency!
I am also still fighting the effects of PTSD, depression and anxiety, but the need to fight them is getting a little more infrequent. I have tried to start a running count of "days I haven't cried" but can't seem to get past 3 days. I am still broken.
I started a weight loss program in the beginning of November. I've lost 11 lbs, even through the holidays. I'm in my 14th week and I'm going to lose 60 lbs. I am tired of carrying around the extra weight. I'm tired of my joints aching. I'm tired of not being able to do things that I use to do with ease. I'm just tired! This program (Noom) is based online and aligns with my lifestyle. This will be a success!!
CONCLUSION
So with a new year, comes a new outlook. My one resolution this year will be to move forward.
Saturday, January 19, 2019
Wednesday, November 14, 2018
AND THE RECOUNT GOES ON
PREFACE
I can't imagine the stress level at the County Elections office. There are protesters, Florida officials, and observers from both political parties vying for "their right to see every ballot counted" and to give opinions over ANY available media. #45 is leading the pack in misinformation and misdirection. There are not enough people to do this monumental job, but they persevere despite accusations that are hurled at them everyday this is not resolved.
STORY
The people doing the recounting are working 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, to get these ballots recounted, AND validate mail-in absentee ballots and PROVISIONAL ballots cast on election day. These are VOLUNTEERS! doing all this additional work. Would you volunteer to be stuck in a room, feeding page after page of ballots into a machine? only to end up losing all of them because the machine overheated!! These machines are made to work one or two days, every two years, for 12 hours. It's like running a Hyundai in the INDY 500! Somewhere around lap 300, it's gonna breakdown.
So Brenda Snipes has announced that the recount of cast ballots (and initial count of absentee ballots) will be done by 3 p.m. Thursday. So what then? If the count is still within the parameters of a "very close" race between the governor's race and the senator's race (and the AG, for that matter), it will trigger a MANUAL HAND COUNT of all acceptable ballots.
Acceptable Ballots. That is something that is VERY controversial as there has been advantages put in place by Republicans (specifically Rick Scott) that may be enough to tip in their favor. Florida has an "EXACT SIGNATURE MATCH" law in regards to absentee ballots. As I stated in my previous posts, your signature changes naturally over the years. Some parts of it always stay the same, but those parts are NOT ALL THE SAME PARTS for everyone. As a pollworker, I had to validate the signature on the voter's ID matching it to the signature they signed on the signature-pad on election day. As the voter, you can't see how your signature appears as you sign. The "pen" is not a regular pen. The area you are signing is not a familiar signing surface. So we look for similar "parts" of the signature to match, but NOT AN EXACT MATCH!
Your signature may have become MORE illegible/scribbled as you've aged, or you may have purposefully or unintentionally changed it; by leaving off the dot over an 'I', or making the final mark sweep up for Feng Shui, or illness has your hand shaking, or your eyesight is failing, or you stopped using your middle name/initial, etc.... There may be many reasons that your signature has changed since you last signed a Voter's Registration form, THE OFFICIAL SIGNATURE to which the Dept of Elections is comparing your mail-in ballot. MANY signatures will fail! so your vote won't count! Military service personnel, citizens traveling for pleasure, and officials/businesspersons out of the country on business, may have any/all absentee ballots disapproved because their signature does not match EXACTLY to the signature the Dept of Elections has on file. The could be 10s of 1000s, enough to sway the election to either candidate.
CONCLUSION
Before you believe what you read in social media or the news, think about all those people working day and night to ensure the freedom of every vote to being counted. The United States is not a dictatorship. It is not a Communist regime. It does not have a puppet government. The United States is a republic, of the people, for the people, and by the people. They are human beings, doing a thankless job, to insure a right and just election. Neither party will be happy with the outcome, if it goes against them. I would like to see it come down to a runoff. Take it to the people one, more, time! (NOTE: I'd like to know how Dade county finished their recount. What was overlooked, or invalidated as a matter of course?)
I can't imagine the stress level at the County Elections office. There are protesters, Florida officials, and observers from both political parties vying for "their right to see every ballot counted" and to give opinions over ANY available media. #45 is leading the pack in misinformation and misdirection. There are not enough people to do this monumental job, but they persevere despite accusations that are hurled at them everyday this is not resolved.
STORY
The people doing the recounting are working 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, to get these ballots recounted, AND validate mail-in absentee ballots and PROVISIONAL ballots cast on election day. These are VOLUNTEERS! doing all this additional work. Would you volunteer to be stuck in a room, feeding page after page of ballots into a machine? only to end up losing all of them because the machine overheated!! These machines are made to work one or two days, every two years, for 12 hours. It's like running a Hyundai in the INDY 500! Somewhere around lap 300, it's gonna breakdown.
So Brenda Snipes has announced that the recount of cast ballots (and initial count of absentee ballots) will be done by 3 p.m. Thursday. So what then? If the count is still within the parameters of a "very close" race between the governor's race and the senator's race (and the AG, for that matter), it will trigger a MANUAL HAND COUNT of all acceptable ballots.
Acceptable Ballots. That is something that is VERY controversial as there has been advantages put in place by Republicans (specifically Rick Scott) that may be enough to tip in their favor. Florida has an "EXACT SIGNATURE MATCH" law in regards to absentee ballots. As I stated in my previous posts, your signature changes naturally over the years. Some parts of it always stay the same, but those parts are NOT ALL THE SAME PARTS for everyone. As a pollworker, I had to validate the signature on the voter's ID matching it to the signature they signed on the signature-pad on election day. As the voter, you can't see how your signature appears as you sign. The "pen" is not a regular pen. The area you are signing is not a familiar signing surface. So we look for similar "parts" of the signature to match, but NOT AN EXACT MATCH!
Your signature may have become MORE illegible/scribbled as you've aged, or you may have purposefully or unintentionally changed it; by leaving off the dot over an 'I', or making the final mark sweep up for Feng Shui, or illness has your hand shaking, or your eyesight is failing, or you stopped using your middle name/initial, etc.... There may be many reasons that your signature has changed since you last signed a Voter's Registration form, THE OFFICIAL SIGNATURE to which the Dept of Elections is comparing your mail-in ballot. MANY signatures will fail! so your vote won't count! Military service personnel, citizens traveling for pleasure, and officials/businesspersons out of the country on business, may have any/all absentee ballots disapproved because their signature does not match EXACTLY to the signature the Dept of Elections has on file. The could be 10s of 1000s, enough to sway the election to either candidate.
CONCLUSION
Before you believe what you read in social media or the news, think about all those people working day and night to ensure the freedom of every vote to being counted. The United States is not a dictatorship. It is not a Communist regime. It does not have a puppet government. The United States is a republic, of the people, for the people, and by the people. They are human beings, doing a thankless job, to insure a right and just election. Neither party will be happy with the outcome, if it goes against them. I would like to see it come down to a runoff. Take it to the people one, more, time! (NOTE: I'd like to know how Dade county finished their recount. What was overlooked, or invalidated as a matter of course?)
Sunday, November 11, 2018
EARLY VOTING IN BROWARD COUNTY
PREFACE
In my two previous posts, I talked about being a pollworker for the primary and general elections this year. As a pollworker, I have to vote by mail or in person during early voting because I can't vote on election day, since I'm working the polls. In 2016, I voted by mail-in ballot. I was confident that my vote would be counted, even after the debacle of Bush vs. Gore and 50,000+ votes being "lost" in Dade county...found in a cabinet, not counted. Then I heard that Florida has an "exact signature matching" law that I assumed Rick Scott would enforce rabidly if the votes were close.
STORY
I made some mistakes on my mail-in ballot so I was forced to vote in person at an early voting site. There are many in Broward county and they cover any precinct, so there's no restriction that you go to a specific location. You can vote at any early voting polling site. I delayed and delayed, doing research into the many, many amendments listed on the ballot. I had voted 'yes' on several that had confusing wording. They do that on purpose to get things passed. The common person with minimal education (HS which teaches "don't question") would think that some of these amendments were clear cut, but they'd be wrong. So I finally settled on my votes and headed to my closest polling place, the library in Weston, just west of where I live.
My sister had early voted at the library in Cooper City in the middle of the second week. No waiting. In and out in 15-20 minutes. Easy-peasy. I waited to the last minute. 6 p.m. on Sunday night. Polls close at 7 p.m. I waited in line, outside in the dark, in the heat for an hour before getting inside the building. There were about 200 people ahead of me, and when I entered the building, I heard over the walkie-talkie that there were about 160 people behind me when they officially closed the polls. It was still worth it to get my vote counted!
CONCLUSION
Now that there is an automatic recount generated by the closeness of the voting, I am glad I didn't send in my mail-in ballot. My signature has changed over the years. I don't know what signature they have on record for me. My signature is enough like my license that I got in 2012 but I don't know what it looked like when I originally registered to vote. I could have signed with my middle initial, which I do not do anymore. My license has my middle name spelled out, but my signature is without my middle name, nor my middle initial. Would that mean that if I had mailed my ballot and Rick Scott sues for scrutiny of mail-in ballots, that my vote would not have counted?!
Glad I voted in-person! I don't know how many 1000s or 10s of 1000s of people voted last minute in the early voting, but it just ended on Sunday, right before the general election on Tuesday. The deadline for mailed-in ballots ended at 7:00 p.m. on Tuesday, Nov. 6th, even if they were hand-delivered to the Board of Elections. All the precincts had to be picked up by truck and delivered to the regional office of the Board of Elections. Broward county does not have county trucks to do this. Elections come every two years and trucks have to be rented for this job. Election officials drive those trucks, certified and sworn in by the Board of Elections. There are procedures upon procedures to secure and deliver the paper ballots that have been counted by the voting machines. The voting machines have transmitted the voting information to the regional office. The paper ballots are backup. They now have to be counted, along with the mail-in ballots, and the paper ballots that back up the early voting electronic transmission, and all must be reconciled.
I think I may update my voter's registration to update my signature. 2020 is right around the corner!!
In my two previous posts, I talked about being a pollworker for the primary and general elections this year. As a pollworker, I have to vote by mail or in person during early voting because I can't vote on election day, since I'm working the polls. In 2016, I voted by mail-in ballot. I was confident that my vote would be counted, even after the debacle of Bush vs. Gore and 50,000+ votes being "lost" in Dade county...found in a cabinet, not counted. Then I heard that Florida has an "exact signature matching" law that I assumed Rick Scott would enforce rabidly if the votes were close.
STORY
I made some mistakes on my mail-in ballot so I was forced to vote in person at an early voting site. There are many in Broward county and they cover any precinct, so there's no restriction that you go to a specific location. You can vote at any early voting polling site. I delayed and delayed, doing research into the many, many amendments listed on the ballot. I had voted 'yes' on several that had confusing wording. They do that on purpose to get things passed. The common person with minimal education (HS which teaches "don't question") would think that some of these amendments were clear cut, but they'd be wrong. So I finally settled on my votes and headed to my closest polling place, the library in Weston, just west of where I live.
My sister had early voted at the library in Cooper City in the middle of the second week. No waiting. In and out in 15-20 minutes. Easy-peasy. I waited to the last minute. 6 p.m. on Sunday night. Polls close at 7 p.m. I waited in line, outside in the dark, in the heat for an hour before getting inside the building. There were about 200 people ahead of me, and when I entered the building, I heard over the walkie-talkie that there were about 160 people behind me when they officially closed the polls. It was still worth it to get my vote counted!
CONCLUSION
Now that there is an automatic recount generated by the closeness of the voting, I am glad I didn't send in my mail-in ballot. My signature has changed over the years. I don't know what signature they have on record for me. My signature is enough like my license that I got in 2012 but I don't know what it looked like when I originally registered to vote. I could have signed with my middle initial, which I do not do anymore. My license has my middle name spelled out, but my signature is without my middle name, nor my middle initial. Would that mean that if I had mailed my ballot and Rick Scott sues for scrutiny of mail-in ballots, that my vote would not have counted?!
Glad I voted in-person! I don't know how many 1000s or 10s of 1000s of people voted last minute in the early voting, but it just ended on Sunday, right before the general election on Tuesday. The deadline for mailed-in ballots ended at 7:00 p.m. on Tuesday, Nov. 6th, even if they were hand-delivered to the Board of Elections. All the precincts had to be picked up by truck and delivered to the regional office of the Board of Elections. Broward county does not have county trucks to do this. Elections come every two years and trucks have to be rented for this job. Election officials drive those trucks, certified and sworn in by the Board of Elections. There are procedures upon procedures to secure and deliver the paper ballots that have been counted by the voting machines. The voting machines have transmitted the voting information to the regional office. The paper ballots are backup. They now have to be counted, along with the mail-in ballots, and the paper ballots that back up the early voting electronic transmission, and all must be reconciled.
I think I may update my voter's registration to update my signature. 2020 is right around the corner!!
WORKING THE ELECTION POLLS (part 2)
PREFACE
In Part 1 of this post, I explained what goes into the training and the actual experience of working the voting polling place. As a pollworker, you have to go through training for every election, even if you just went through it for the primary, you have to go through it again for the general election. The training is (4 hrs) and covers every position needed on election day. You may be asked to fill in for something you didn't want to do but must do because someone didn't show up! There is a written manual that you need to have with you on the day, just in case.
STORY
Now for 2018. Training for 4 hours in the early spring for the primaries. After working the Primary election at a different polling site, and only having to serve 120 or so voters, it was a lot more lull than activity. I was handing out ballots as a Ballot Inspector this time as we had a much smaller staff (6) and all positions had to be filled.
I volunteered to do this to be an EVID operator. Verifying identity by photo and signature of each voter for which I processed a voting pass. The voting pass is then taken to the table where the ballots are given in exchange for the voting pass. Special circumstances are if the voter doesn't come up on the EVID as being registered, they can request a provisional ballot which is reconciled after the election day. Address (and name) changes can be done on election day and the voter can vote if they are in that precinct, or they are sent to the correct precinct. Everyone in line to vote by 7 p.m. is allowed to vote, even after the polls are officially closed. A security guard and/or police officer is posted at the end of the line at 7 p.m. No one arriving after 7 p.m. (7:01 or 7:02) is allowed to join the line, nor to vote if there is no line. Some people take this news as harsh, but it is the law.
This general election we processed about 1000 voters. For a mid-term election, that is remarkable. The last general election in 2016, we processed about 800, in the same precinct, at the same polling site. The fact there was 14 days of early voting and mail-in ballots, that was a better than expected turnout. We were once again cut off from the news of the day, observed by poll watchers (stationed near the voting area by both major political parties, to watch the process), and visited several times by Poll Inspectors from Broward County.
We were coming to the close of another election day. Two men came in and sat at the table next to the voting booths entrance. They were recording with their cellphones. The Clerk went over to tell them they were not permitted in that area during voting hours, nor were they allowed to shoot video. They said they were waiting for the posting of the totals tapes. The Clerk said they could wait away from the voting area or outside. They left.
As we were processing the closing of the polls, breaking down the voting booths, the tables, packing up everything, and the VST operators and workers were clearing the VST machines of the cast ballots and placing them into the secure bags for transport, someone noticed those two men outside taking video through the windows. What would be the motivation for that?! (Remember, we had been cut off from all news reports.) The Clerk asked them to stop. They didn't. The pollworkers had not given consent to be filmed! Securing the ballots is not something open to the public normally. The Clerk went outside to emphatically ask them to stop filming. I helped obscure their view of the process. They were not official County Inspectors. We had nothing to hide but we also did not want our faces on some video on social media or podcast without our permission. The police were called, reports filled out, and they finally left. We were concerned that we might be followed home or harassed when we left the premises. There is a limit to invasion of privacy.
CONCLUSION
Once home, I found out how close the election was between the two candidates for senator and governor. I now understand why obscure "news" people would want to find some impropriety in the voting process that they might exploit for their own gain. It was still obnoxious and unnecessary. There was no impropriety. No mistakes (unless human error or machine error caused them). Procedures were followed. Inspectors inspected. Poll watchers watched. And now we wait for the results, whatever they may be. It looks like automatic recounts will ensue because of the closeness of the votes. Our democracy in action!
In Part 1 of this post, I explained what goes into the training and the actual experience of working the voting polling place. As a pollworker, you have to go through training for every election, even if you just went through it for the primary, you have to go through it again for the general election. The training is (4 hrs) and covers every position needed on election day. You may be asked to fill in for something you didn't want to do but must do because someone didn't show up! There is a written manual that you need to have with you on the day, just in case.
STORY
Now for 2018. Training for 4 hours in the early spring for the primaries. After working the Primary election at a different polling site, and only having to serve 120 or so voters, it was a lot more lull than activity. I was handing out ballots as a Ballot Inspector this time as we had a much smaller staff (6) and all positions had to be filled.
I volunteered to do this to be an EVID operator. Verifying identity by photo and signature of each voter for which I processed a voting pass. The voting pass is then taken to the table where the ballots are given in exchange for the voting pass. Special circumstances are if the voter doesn't come up on the EVID as being registered, they can request a provisional ballot which is reconciled after the election day. Address (and name) changes can be done on election day and the voter can vote if they are in that precinct, or they are sent to the correct precinct. Everyone in line to vote by 7 p.m. is allowed to vote, even after the polls are officially closed. A security guard and/or police officer is posted at the end of the line at 7 p.m. No one arriving after 7 p.m. (7:01 or 7:02) is allowed to join the line, nor to vote if there is no line. Some people take this news as harsh, but it is the law.
This general election we processed about 1000 voters. For a mid-term election, that is remarkable. The last general election in 2016, we processed about 800, in the same precinct, at the same polling site. The fact there was 14 days of early voting and mail-in ballots, that was a better than expected turnout. We were once again cut off from the news of the day, observed by poll watchers (stationed near the voting area by both major political parties, to watch the process), and visited several times by Poll Inspectors from Broward County.
We were coming to the close of another election day. Two men came in and sat at the table next to the voting booths entrance. They were recording with their cellphones. The Clerk went over to tell them they were not permitted in that area during voting hours, nor were they allowed to shoot video. They said they were waiting for the posting of the totals tapes. The Clerk said they could wait away from the voting area or outside. They left.
As we were processing the closing of the polls, breaking down the voting booths, the tables, packing up everything, and the VST operators and workers were clearing the VST machines of the cast ballots and placing them into the secure bags for transport, someone noticed those two men outside taking video through the windows. What would be the motivation for that?! (Remember, we had been cut off from all news reports.) The Clerk asked them to stop. They didn't. The pollworkers had not given consent to be filmed! Securing the ballots is not something open to the public normally. The Clerk went outside to emphatically ask them to stop filming. I helped obscure their view of the process. They were not official County Inspectors. We had nothing to hide but we also did not want our faces on some video on social media or podcast without our permission. The police were called, reports filled out, and they finally left. We were concerned that we might be followed home or harassed when we left the premises. There is a limit to invasion of privacy.
CONCLUSION
Once home, I found out how close the election was between the two candidates for senator and governor. I now understand why obscure "news" people would want to find some impropriety in the voting process that they might exploit for their own gain. It was still obnoxious and unnecessary. There was no impropriety. No mistakes (unless human error or machine error caused them). Procedures were followed. Inspectors inspected. Poll watchers watched. And now we wait for the results, whatever they may be. It looks like automatic recounts will ensue because of the closeness of the votes. Our democracy in action!
WORKING THE ELECTION POLLS (part 1)
PREFACE
I am a poll worker. I started in 2016. What an initiation! I continue to be a poll worker. I worked the Primary election in the summer of 2018. And now I've completed the Mid-term elections of 2018. Interesting is an understatement.
STORY
I went through a 3 1/2 hour training session in the summer of 2016. The trainers went over the procedures involved for all the positions at the polls, and supervisory positions, over all polling stations. I was nervous the night before November 9th (2016) election. I barely got 90 minutes of sleep before getting up at 4 a.m. to be at the polling place at 5:30 a.m. I arrived and went to work helping set up the voting booths, the EVID machines (which I would operate one) that issue voting passes, setting up the signage outside the polling site, and whatever else needed to be done. We all pitched in to get the polls ready for the first voters to arrive and the polls to open at 7 a.m. Once the polls were officially declared OPEN, we had 75-80 voters standing outside in line ready to come in, stand in line again, and exercise their right to vote.
It was a steady pace all day, with a few lulls to take breaks for the bathroom, get water and snacks. The polling site provided lunch for the workers, and after the lunch crowd came through the polls, we took turns going "to lunch" from 1:30-2:30, so we could all be back in time for the teachers, school workers, and others who get off work earlier that 5 o'clock. We work until the polls are officially closed at 7 p.m., and beyond, as we run totals, pack up everything in a particular order, then sign official counts, post them, and account for everything. Nobody leaves until it's all done.
The 11/9/2016 day started with some controversy as a news crew brought cameras into the polling site and had to be asked to leave. Filming outside, away from the voting, is permissible. Also some voters brought cellphones in and began recording, which is NOT ALLOWED (under the law). Police had to be called to enforce some violations and objections but for the most part, it didn't escalate. There are always security people and off-duty police at the polling sites, just in case rules have to be enforced. We all know the outcome of the 2016 election. We didn't know anything until after 7 p.m., when the site hosting the voting poll turned on the TVs and we got caught up with the news. And 2016 kept everyone in suspense until the next morning.
When we work the polls, we have no exposure to the news the entire day. We are not allowed to use our cellphones (except for emergencies). We are instructed NOT to try to find out what's happening outside the polls and are not allowed to leave the site until the polls are officially closed. Suffice to say, we DO NOT express any political favor to voters while working the polls. Nonpartisan interaction only; no decals, icons, political T-shirts, opinions, etc.... We can help voters in particular ways that do not involve influencing their vote, only facilitating it. So it's 15 hours of isolation for us, and suppressing our own opinions and curiosity. It is a privilege to help insure the purity of the voting process.
CONCLUSION
No matter what the outcome, or your reaction to it, the voting process is a privilege (and a RIGHT in this country) that should be exercised whenever possible. These are human beings that we put in charge of making decisions about our lives. Even if you don't see it in the day-to-day, their decisions effect us. How they vote on laws. What laws they create. If they protect the laws and keep us safe, or are only interested in what their political position can do to enhance their own lives. We are the watchdogs! We cannot vote and then sit back and HOPE for the best. Our leaders are accountable to US. We the People! Our taxes pay their salaries. Our taxes pay for the services they provide to us. WE ARE THEIR BOSSES! VOTE, LIKE YOUR LIFE DEPENDS ON IT!
I am a poll worker. I started in 2016. What an initiation! I continue to be a poll worker. I worked the Primary election in the summer of 2018. And now I've completed the Mid-term elections of 2018. Interesting is an understatement.
STORY
I went through a 3 1/2 hour training session in the summer of 2016. The trainers went over the procedures involved for all the positions at the polls, and supervisory positions, over all polling stations. I was nervous the night before November 9th (2016) election. I barely got 90 minutes of sleep before getting up at 4 a.m. to be at the polling place at 5:30 a.m. I arrived and went to work helping set up the voting booths, the EVID machines (which I would operate one) that issue voting passes, setting up the signage outside the polling site, and whatever else needed to be done. We all pitched in to get the polls ready for the first voters to arrive and the polls to open at 7 a.m. Once the polls were officially declared OPEN, we had 75-80 voters standing outside in line ready to come in, stand in line again, and exercise their right to vote.
It was a steady pace all day, with a few lulls to take breaks for the bathroom, get water and snacks. The polling site provided lunch for the workers, and after the lunch crowd came through the polls, we took turns going "to lunch" from 1:30-2:30, so we could all be back in time for the teachers, school workers, and others who get off work earlier that 5 o'clock. We work until the polls are officially closed at 7 p.m., and beyond, as we run totals, pack up everything in a particular order, then sign official counts, post them, and account for everything. Nobody leaves until it's all done.
The 11/9/2016 day started with some controversy as a news crew brought cameras into the polling site and had to be asked to leave. Filming outside, away from the voting, is permissible. Also some voters brought cellphones in and began recording, which is NOT ALLOWED (under the law). Police had to be called to enforce some violations and objections but for the most part, it didn't escalate. There are always security people and off-duty police at the polling sites, just in case rules have to be enforced. We all know the outcome of the 2016 election. We didn't know anything until after 7 p.m., when the site hosting the voting poll turned on the TVs and we got caught up with the news. And 2016 kept everyone in suspense until the next morning.
When we work the polls, we have no exposure to the news the entire day. We are not allowed to use our cellphones (except for emergencies). We are instructed NOT to try to find out what's happening outside the polls and are not allowed to leave the site until the polls are officially closed. Suffice to say, we DO NOT express any political favor to voters while working the polls. Nonpartisan interaction only; no decals, icons, political T-shirts, opinions, etc.... We can help voters in particular ways that do not involve influencing their vote, only facilitating it. So it's 15 hours of isolation for us, and suppressing our own opinions and curiosity. It is a privilege to help insure the purity of the voting process.
CONCLUSION
No matter what the outcome, or your reaction to it, the voting process is a privilege (and a RIGHT in this country) that should be exercised whenever possible. These are human beings that we put in charge of making decisions about our lives. Even if you don't see it in the day-to-day, their decisions effect us. How they vote on laws. What laws they create. If they protect the laws and keep us safe, or are only interested in what their political position can do to enhance their own lives. We are the watchdogs! We cannot vote and then sit back and HOPE for the best. Our leaders are accountable to US. We the People! Our taxes pay their salaries. Our taxes pay for the services they provide to us. WE ARE THEIR BOSSES! VOTE, LIKE YOUR LIFE DEPENDS ON IT!
Monday, November 13, 2017
FIFTY SHADES OF SEXUAL HARASSMENT
PREFACE
I have encountered sexual harassment at many levels throughout my life. I have not always recognized it as such at the time. Sometimes I realized it right after it happened, after thinking about it for some time (days, weeks, months, even years), and sometimes never realizing it until relating a story about it and someone else pointing it out. How odd is that?
STORY
I was working in a 7-Eleven on Saturday, setting up a display for the coming Christmas season. This store was the 15th location I had completed in the past six days. I work from a seated position as my lower back cannot take the bending and stooping required. I take my two-step A-frame step ladder with me and use it to sit on and get to lower levels and bottom rows.
A customer came in and walked over to me, standing behind me, he reached around leaning into my back to "reach for something" hanging on the display. I could smell the strong odor of Listerine (used to mask alcohol, as it triggered a memory of my alcoholic father). As I turned to see if I recognized him, he said something apologetic, giggled and walked away. Maybe this was his idea of flirting?
He then returned and leaned in behind me to give me a hug (of sorts), again feigning that he was going to buy something off the display I was setting up. Both his arms encircling me at just below shoulder height. Held only long enough as to not make me too uncomfortable. He said, "You know I'm just kidding around. I'm a regular in here," and then walked away again. Minutes later, he returned with a single rose bought from the counter as he checked out. He said, "For you, for putting up with me messing around. It's just that I hadn't seen you in here before. See you later." To which I replied, "You probably won't see me later, as I don't work here. But thanks for the flower."
CONCLUSION
As I reflected on the whole experience, I started to get creeped out. What he had done was sexual harassment at the least, sexual assault at the worst. He invaded my space. Touched me (a stranger) without permission, twice! And then gave me with a present to apologize for his actions. It had made me uncomfortable. He had had the positional advantage of standing while I was sitting. He had approached me from behind with no warning, both times, and had made the second encounter more intimate than the first. It was creepy.
While walking on the sidewalk or riding my bike, I have been sexually harassed by men on the side of the road or from moving vehicles, cat-calling; bosses making advances; customers being inappropriate while I worked as a server; and at least one incident of misjudging a sexual encounter. But not until recently, with all the "outing" of sexual predators, would I have taken notice of this brief encounter as an incident of sexual harassment. All the other times were when I was younger, slimmer, prettier, and I dealt with them as accepted behavior (as Weinstein's actions were accepted but not acceptable behavior). I have always thought it was disgusting but "it happens all the time." I am glad that this behavior is being called on to be accountable. That men need to realize that what they think is flirting, IS NOT. That it is NOT acceptable to invade someone's space or touch their body without permission. ESPECIALLY IF THEY ARE A STRANGER! Geez! Men need to be re-trained in the art of social contact.
I have encountered sexual harassment at many levels throughout my life. I have not always recognized it as such at the time. Sometimes I realized it right after it happened, after thinking about it for some time (days, weeks, months, even years), and sometimes never realizing it until relating a story about it and someone else pointing it out. How odd is that?
STORY
I was working in a 7-Eleven on Saturday, setting up a display for the coming Christmas season. This store was the 15th location I had completed in the past six days. I work from a seated position as my lower back cannot take the bending and stooping required. I take my two-step A-frame step ladder with me and use it to sit on and get to lower levels and bottom rows.
A customer came in and walked over to me, standing behind me, he reached around leaning into my back to "reach for something" hanging on the display. I could smell the strong odor of Listerine (used to mask alcohol, as it triggered a memory of my alcoholic father). As I turned to see if I recognized him, he said something apologetic, giggled and walked away. Maybe this was his idea of flirting?
He then returned and leaned in behind me to give me a hug (of sorts), again feigning that he was going to buy something off the display I was setting up. Both his arms encircling me at just below shoulder height. Held only long enough as to not make me too uncomfortable. He said, "You know I'm just kidding around. I'm a regular in here," and then walked away again. Minutes later, he returned with a single rose bought from the counter as he checked out. He said, "For you, for putting up with me messing around. It's just that I hadn't seen you in here before. See you later." To which I replied, "You probably won't see me later, as I don't work here. But thanks for the flower."
CONCLUSION
As I reflected on the whole experience, I started to get creeped out. What he had done was sexual harassment at the least, sexual assault at the worst. He invaded my space. Touched me (a stranger) without permission, twice! And then gave me with a present to apologize for his actions. It had made me uncomfortable. He had had the positional advantage of standing while I was sitting. He had approached me from behind with no warning, both times, and had made the second encounter more intimate than the first. It was creepy.
While walking on the sidewalk or riding my bike, I have been sexually harassed by men on the side of the road or from moving vehicles, cat-calling; bosses making advances; customers being inappropriate while I worked as a server; and at least one incident of misjudging a sexual encounter. But not until recently, with all the "outing" of sexual predators, would I have taken notice of this brief encounter as an incident of sexual harassment. All the other times were when I was younger, slimmer, prettier, and I dealt with them as accepted behavior (as Weinstein's actions were accepted but not acceptable behavior). I have always thought it was disgusting but "it happens all the time." I am glad that this behavior is being called on to be accountable. That men need to realize that what they think is flirting, IS NOT. That it is NOT acceptable to invade someone's space or touch their body without permission. ESPECIALLY IF THEY ARE A STRANGER! Geez! Men need to be re-trained in the art of social contact.
Monday, September 05, 2016
BROKEN HEART REVISITED
PREFACE
I guess it's not a real broken heart but it definitely hurt my feelings and changed the direction of my plans. Should you ever revisit a past relationship even if that relationship was short-lived? At this point I would say, "No."
STORY
We had met on some online dating site and then in real life. We hit it off well and I spent the night at his place which he shared with his roommate and his daughter. I liked him and he liked me. We were hot for each other too. I invited him to my house at the time, and we got busy right away. Then I didn't hear from him. I'm not the type to push, or nag, or text someone a million times. I seem to remember trying several times to contact him but then gave up.
I've had his email & picture in my Gmail account ever since then. JS contacted me on Facebook. I hadn't heard from him in 10 years. We went out to dinner and talked for 3 hours. We made out in the parking lot and it was hot. We texted every day and went to dinner the next week. We talked for almost 3 hours and made out in the parking lot. We continued to text every day. From the time we got up to the time we went to bed. Then we had lunch one day and we kissed and hugged at my car before parting ways. We had long, frank discussions about how we wanted to have sex but couldn't make that happen with our living arrangements. He made us reservations at a hotel suite but then had to cancel due to his not having the money. This went on for a month. Last week we were going on a road trip to central Florida for me to deliver a chair to a friend and get some stuff from my storage unit. I had to cancel because I didn't have enough money for the trip. We finally set the date for me to come over and spend the night if I wanted to. I texted him that I was going to be coming over later than we had planned. He texted that he had to cancel.
His first reason was a cold sore but there was another one too. I asked what. He said that his ex had texted him and started talking to him about getting back together. He hadn't really gotten over her and didn't want to hurt me by continuing forward with us. I was very, very hurt. I cried, and cried, and cried. I texted him that I would have to take some time to process this.
CONCLUSION
I texted my son about what happened. He said to tell him that "I'm not a fire extinguisher. I'm not there as a backup to anyone else and he either needs to choose me or not." And he said if he doesn't respect me enough for that, he hasn't earned my time. I am trying to live in the now. The now today was painful. It made me cry. It also made me contact two other men that had showed an interest in me last month. I hadn't cultivated the contacts due to JS. Now I am.
I guess it's not a real broken heart but it definitely hurt my feelings and changed the direction of my plans. Should you ever revisit a past relationship even if that relationship was short-lived? At this point I would say, "No."
STORY
We had met on some online dating site and then in real life. We hit it off well and I spent the night at his place which he shared with his roommate and his daughter. I liked him and he liked me. We were hot for each other too. I invited him to my house at the time, and we got busy right away. Then I didn't hear from him. I'm not the type to push, or nag, or text someone a million times. I seem to remember trying several times to contact him but then gave up.
I've had his email & picture in my Gmail account ever since then. JS contacted me on Facebook. I hadn't heard from him in 10 years. We went out to dinner and talked for 3 hours. We made out in the parking lot and it was hot. We texted every day and went to dinner the next week. We talked for almost 3 hours and made out in the parking lot. We continued to text every day. From the time we got up to the time we went to bed. Then we had lunch one day and we kissed and hugged at my car before parting ways. We had long, frank discussions about how we wanted to have sex but couldn't make that happen with our living arrangements. He made us reservations at a hotel suite but then had to cancel due to his not having the money. This went on for a month. Last week we were going on a road trip to central Florida for me to deliver a chair to a friend and get some stuff from my storage unit. I had to cancel because I didn't have enough money for the trip. We finally set the date for me to come over and spend the night if I wanted to. I texted him that I was going to be coming over later than we had planned. He texted that he had to cancel.
His first reason was a cold sore but there was another one too. I asked what. He said that his ex had texted him and started talking to him about getting back together. He hadn't really gotten over her and didn't want to hurt me by continuing forward with us. I was very, very hurt. I cried, and cried, and cried. I texted him that I would have to take some time to process this.
CONCLUSION
I texted my son about what happened. He said to tell him that "I'm not a fire extinguisher. I'm not there as a backup to anyone else and he either needs to choose me or not." And he said if he doesn't respect me enough for that, he hasn't earned my time. I am trying to live in the now. The now today was painful. It made me cry. It also made me contact two other men that had showed an interest in me last month. I hadn't cultivated the contacts due to JS. Now I am.
Sunday, March 27, 2016
COUNTING 1, 2, 3...
PREFACE
Today Friday and tomorrow, Saturday, I have signed up to count all the patrons going to see the new Superman vs Batman movie at the Aventura Mall Cinema. Suffice to say I didn't know what I was getting myself into. I do patron counts (or Open Checking) at many theatres, at many openings. Never one this BIG! This is a new adventure in market research (aka mystery shopping).
STORY
I had checked the number of auditoriums playing the movie on Thursday night and they had 13 shows listed. That's a lot of shows normally and three to four auditoriums would be normally showing them. When I got up on Friday morning, they had 30 SHOWS!! listed, starting at 9:30 am and going to 12:30 am (Saturday morning). NINE auditoriums showing the movie 30 minutes apart! It was a hectic day to say the least. I barely had time to eat some chicken fingers and curly fries at 9 pm for dinner, which I was STARVING by that time. I always bring protein bars and bottled water with me but that doesn't sustain me through 15 hour days. I did get to watch the movie after my midnight count. It was very good but set too dark. You couldn't see what was going on on the screen at times.
I was glad they dropped one auditorium on Saturday, leaving me to check only 8 and having a few more minutes between shows. It wasn't so hard to get to the shows but they were at opposite ends of the theatre and at peak times it was very difficult to get through the crowds. I took to counting the line waiting to get in as they went in and then counting those who came in after. The hardest part of counting is the patrons that leave their seats and go to concession. Those going in and out can cause a huge difference in total numbers if you don't write down something about them you can remember when they come back in.
CONCLUSION
I am very grateful for my sister ordering me a counter machine and getting it delivered by Friday. Having this device made my counting go so much easier. The right tool for the right job! It was a very long two days but I earned over $180 per day, so it was worth it. I don't mind spending all day and night at a movie theatre. I feel very comfortable there after 15 years of my late husband managing and district managing them. I am a movie freak, plain and simple.
Today Friday and tomorrow, Saturday, I have signed up to count all the patrons going to see the new Superman vs Batman movie at the Aventura Mall Cinema. Suffice to say I didn't know what I was getting myself into. I do patron counts (or Open Checking) at many theatres, at many openings. Never one this BIG! This is a new adventure in market research (aka mystery shopping).
STORY
I had checked the number of auditoriums playing the movie on Thursday night and they had 13 shows listed. That's a lot of shows normally and three to four auditoriums would be normally showing them. When I got up on Friday morning, they had 30 SHOWS!! listed, starting at 9:30 am and going to 12:30 am (Saturday morning). NINE auditoriums showing the movie 30 minutes apart! It was a hectic day to say the least. I barely had time to eat some chicken fingers and curly fries at 9 pm for dinner, which I was STARVING by that time. I always bring protein bars and bottled water with me but that doesn't sustain me through 15 hour days. I did get to watch the movie after my midnight count. It was very good but set too dark. You couldn't see what was going on on the screen at times.
I was glad they dropped one auditorium on Saturday, leaving me to check only 8 and having a few more minutes between shows. It wasn't so hard to get to the shows but they were at opposite ends of the theatre and at peak times it was very difficult to get through the crowds. I took to counting the line waiting to get in as they went in and then counting those who came in after. The hardest part of counting is the patrons that leave their seats and go to concession. Those going in and out can cause a huge difference in total numbers if you don't write down something about them you can remember when they come back in.
CONCLUSION
I am very grateful for my sister ordering me a counter machine and getting it delivered by Friday. Having this device made my counting go so much easier. The right tool for the right job! It was a very long two days but I earned over $180 per day, so it was worth it. I don't mind spending all day and night at a movie theatre. I feel very comfortable there after 15 years of my late husband managing and district managing them. I am a movie freak, plain and simple.
Sunday, February 07, 2016
SUPER BOWL SUNDAY, 50TH ANNIVERSARY!
PREFACE
It's the 50th Super Bowl and I'm celebrating it at my nephew's house. I really don't care much who wins. I do like to see a good football game, so I hope it is one. My sister is cooking mac'n'cheese to take and I'm off to try to do two installations before joining the festivities.
STORY
I really enjoy the commercials more than the game or half time. My late husband, George, was an audio/visual-phile and taped all the Super Bowls while we were married. I had 20 years of them on VHS. They sold well at my yard sale after he passed and I lost my home. I miss George more than any of the things I have lost since. There are times I am more emotional about his absence. Super Bowl Sunday is one of them.
CONCLUSION
As you enjoy the pinnacle of the favorite American past time (or one of them), hold your loved ones close and imprint the joy in your memory. You never know how many more chances you have. Yell at the screen! Eat, and don't think about the calories! Tell stories and laugh out loud! Put down the cellphone, the iPad, the laptop, and immerse yourself in the friends and family surrounding you. EAT! DRINK! AND BE MERRY! Enjoy! (and GO PANTHERS!!) :)
It's the 50th Super Bowl and I'm celebrating it at my nephew's house. I really don't care much who wins. I do like to see a good football game, so I hope it is one. My sister is cooking mac'n'cheese to take and I'm off to try to do two installations before joining the festivities.
STORY
I really enjoy the commercials more than the game or half time. My late husband, George, was an audio/visual-phile and taped all the Super Bowls while we were married. I had 20 years of them on VHS. They sold well at my yard sale after he passed and I lost my home. I miss George more than any of the things I have lost since. There are times I am more emotional about his absence. Super Bowl Sunday is one of them.
CONCLUSION
As you enjoy the pinnacle of the favorite American past time (or one of them), hold your loved ones close and imprint the joy in your memory. You never know how many more chances you have. Yell at the screen! Eat, and don't think about the calories! Tell stories and laugh out loud! Put down the cellphone, the iPad, the laptop, and immerse yourself in the friends and family surrounding you. EAT! DRINK! AND BE MERRY! Enjoy! (and GO PANTHERS!!) :)
Sunday, January 03, 2016
Adventures in Flying! Happy New Year!
PREFACE
A happy, healthy, and prosperous New Year to you and yours! I had a wonderful time, once I got to Wisconsin. Adventures in flying! My flight was cancelled twice during my layover in Charlotte, N.C. and finally I was put on a flight to Dallas! and then flew into Madison, instead of Milwaukee. I left Ft. Lauderdale at 10 A.M. and didn't get into Madison until 11 P.M.! But it's all good.
STORY
There was 7 inches of new snow on the ground and I was very thankful for my sister's snow boots and gloves. The ceremony for my son, Ian, and his bride, Erin, was informal at the courthouse. There were local friends and family there. The bride and groom's mothers were the official witnesses (me and her mother). The vows made me cry and I had no tissues, of course. The judge was friendly and funny and the ceremony was moving. Then we all went to dinner. Good times!
CONCLUSION
My son and his new bride are starting the new year out as husband and wife. My own parents chose Dec. 31st as their wedding day. I think it is a nice repeat of a tradition. I can already see that they will be much happier than my parents were. They are much more in sync and have more commonality. They remind me of my marriage to Ian's father and the soul-mate, best friend bond that we had together for 20 years. It gives me a warm feeling in my heart and comfort that my son will have the kind of love that made him be possible. HAPPY, HEALTHY, & PROSPEROUS NEW YEAR! 2016!
A happy, healthy, and prosperous New Year to you and yours! I had a wonderful time, once I got to Wisconsin. Adventures in flying! My flight was cancelled twice during my layover in Charlotte, N.C. and finally I was put on a flight to Dallas! and then flew into Madison, instead of Milwaukee. I left Ft. Lauderdale at 10 A.M. and didn't get into Madison until 11 P.M.! But it's all good.
STORY
There was 7 inches of new snow on the ground and I was very thankful for my sister's snow boots and gloves. The ceremony for my son, Ian, and his bride, Erin, was informal at the courthouse. There were local friends and family there. The bride and groom's mothers were the official witnesses (me and her mother). The vows made me cry and I had no tissues, of course. The judge was friendly and funny and the ceremony was moving. Then we all went to dinner. Good times!
CONCLUSION
My son and his new bride are starting the new year out as husband and wife. My own parents chose Dec. 31st as their wedding day. I think it is a nice repeat of a tradition. I can already see that they will be much happier than my parents were. They are much more in sync and have more commonality. They remind me of my marriage to Ian's father and the soul-mate, best friend bond that we had together for 20 years. It gives me a warm feeling in my heart and comfort that my son will have the kind of love that made him be possible. HAPPY, HEALTHY, & PROSPEROUS NEW YEAR! 2016!
Sunday, December 06, 2015
MEASURING MY LIFE BY THE CATS I'VE LOVED
PREFACE
The vet that treated my cat, Milo, sent me a condolence card. It was a sweet gesture and I do appreciate it. It is never easy to lose a pet. He was diagnosed with Lymphoma two years ago August 2013. I could not afford the $300 additional chemo treatment that would only give him a possible 18 months. I decided to research natural cures and treated him myself with colloidal silver and aloe vera. The disease attacks the digestion and blocks their ability to absorb the nutrients from their food. My treatment allowed him 9 more months than the chemo promised.
STORY
I was Milo's person for the past 16 years. He came to us as a kitten (6 weeks old) and I had originally intended for him to be my son's cat. I had Molly (female brown Burmese) and my late husband had Sox (male Tuxedo, black and white). Milo spent his first few weeks sleeping in a box next to my bed at night, when he wasn't out and about getting to know our other two adult cats.
Milo
Molly
Sox
Milo was to be Ian's cat. Ian was 14. As it turned out, Ian was allergic to Milo's saliva and Milo liked to lick as a show of affection. Molly had no maternal tendencies toward him and attacked him repeatedly. He was a tiny kitten and could not defend himself, so I decided that Molly was to become an outside/inside cat (but mostly outside). Molly had always resented becoming an inside cat, so she was happy. Sox adopted Milo and protected him against Molly.
When we got Sox, he was a stray kitten that someone had abandoned near a friend of my sister. My sister called me to say that this kitten needed our family. We had been without a cat for a while, since our last kitten had been put down due to spinal problems, loss of use of his back legs and potty functions. Spooky was less than two years old. It was traumatic and we had gone for over a year without looking for another cat. Sox was a wonderful addition to our family. He LOVED my late husband and was a sweet, loving, adorable quirky cat. At max. weight he was 24lbs! but had a tiny little voice (mew!) like Mike Tyson. He also loved cantelope and watermelon!
Sox was about 4 months old when we got Molly. Molly was originally named Bonnie, but it didn't fit her. Her owner was going to be forced to take her to the animal shelter (to be gassed!) so I agreed to take her. I'm not partial to female cats but I didn't want her to be euthanized at seven months old! She came into our house always wanting to squip out the door to be outside. It was a constant battle. Molly knew how to open doorknobs! We had to keep the door deadbolt-locked so she couldn't get out. Molly also liked to open the side-by-side refrigerator doors (and LEAVE THEM OPEN!). We would come downstairs to find both doors standing wide open! My late husband had to devise a "lock" for the doors. He used a piece of aluminum rod, bent in a U-shape to slip over both door handles at night when we went to bed. Molly finally stopped after a few months.
All our cats have played "fetch", usually with small aluminum balls that we would fashion for them. They would run after them and bring them back to be thrown again. Molly was the most insistent. She would bring a ball and drop it on your bare foot to let you know she wanted to play fetch. They loved the sound they made on the tile floor.
Molly was the first to go. At 15 years old, arthritic and thin, she stopped eating. I force-fed her water and drops of food through the night, but she became lethargic and less responsive. I took her to animal control and had her put down. Soon after I was forced out of my house due to the landlord selling it, and I could only take one cat with me to my new living arrangements. Sox was 15 yo but in good health. I took him to the animal shelter and gave up ownership with the hope that someone would adopt a 24lb Tuxedo cat. This was in 2008 and there was a lot of animal rescue going on at that time. I hope he got a good home.
Milo was my sole companion for the past 7 years. I was his person. He saw his family go from 3 people, 2 other cats to just him and me. My son moved out on his own but couldn't take Milo due to his allergy. Milo kept me company, was very talkative, would rush to the door if someone knocked or rang the bell (like a watch-cat). He slept in my bed with me. Woke me up when it was morning (to feed him!). Milo watched TV with me sometimes and ALWAYS watched the Annual Westminster Dog Show (intently!). His favorite place to lounge was on my chest (while I watched TV, worked on the computer, or drove him in the car!). He was a total inside cat, never venturing outside.
CONCLUSION
These are just three of the cats that have populated my life, become part of my family, and owned a piece of my heart. When we take on a pet, we have to realize they have an expiration date. Lots of people don't think about a pet being with them for 15-20 years, nor about how close you can become or how involved in their lives. When it gets to the end of their life, it can become all-consuming in the daily caregiving involved, but you do it without a thought. The hardest is when you have to decide if you are being selfish and keeping them here because you can't let go. Luckily, Milo told me in his way that it was time for him to go (for me to let him go). I miss him every day but know that he is in a better place, running and chasing with Sox and Molly.
The vet that treated my cat, Milo, sent me a condolence card. It was a sweet gesture and I do appreciate it. It is never easy to lose a pet. He was diagnosed with Lymphoma two years ago August 2013. I could not afford the $300 additional chemo treatment that would only give him a possible 18 months. I decided to research natural cures and treated him myself with colloidal silver and aloe vera. The disease attacks the digestion and blocks their ability to absorb the nutrients from their food. My treatment allowed him 9 more months than the chemo promised.
STORY
I was Milo's person for the past 16 years. He came to us as a kitten (6 weeks old) and I had originally intended for him to be my son's cat. I had Molly (female brown Burmese) and my late husband had Sox (male Tuxedo, black and white). Milo spent his first few weeks sleeping in a box next to my bed at night, when he wasn't out and about getting to know our other two adult cats.
MiloMolly SoxMilo was to be Ian's cat. Ian was 14. As it turned out, Ian was allergic to Milo's saliva and Milo liked to lick as a show of affection. Molly had no maternal tendencies toward him and attacked him repeatedly. He was a tiny kitten and could not defend himself, so I decided that Molly was to become an outside/inside cat (but mostly outside). Molly had always resented becoming an inside cat, so she was happy. Sox adopted Milo and protected him against Molly.
When we got Sox, he was a stray kitten that someone had abandoned near a friend of my sister. My sister called me to say that this kitten needed our family. We had been without a cat for a while, since our last kitten had been put down due to spinal problems, loss of use of his back legs and potty functions. Spooky was less than two years old. It was traumatic and we had gone for over a year without looking for another cat. Sox was a wonderful addition to our family. He LOVED my late husband and was a sweet, loving, adorable quirky cat. At max. weight he was 24lbs! but had a tiny little voice (mew!) like Mike Tyson. He also loved cantelope and watermelon!
Sox was about 4 months old when we got Molly. Molly was originally named Bonnie, but it didn't fit her. Her owner was going to be forced to take her to the animal shelter (to be gassed!) so I agreed to take her. I'm not partial to female cats but I didn't want her to be euthanized at seven months old! She came into our house always wanting to squip out the door to be outside. It was a constant battle. Molly knew how to open doorknobs! We had to keep the door deadbolt-locked so she couldn't get out. Molly also liked to open the side-by-side refrigerator doors (and LEAVE THEM OPEN!). We would come downstairs to find both doors standing wide open! My late husband had to devise a "lock" for the doors. He used a piece of aluminum rod, bent in a U-shape to slip over both door handles at night when we went to bed. Molly finally stopped after a few months.
All our cats have played "fetch", usually with small aluminum balls that we would fashion for them. They would run after them and bring them back to be thrown again. Molly was the most insistent. She would bring a ball and drop it on your bare foot to let you know she wanted to play fetch. They loved the sound they made on the tile floor.
Molly was the first to go. At 15 years old, arthritic and thin, she stopped eating. I force-fed her water and drops of food through the night, but she became lethargic and less responsive. I took her to animal control and had her put down. Soon after I was forced out of my house due to the landlord selling it, and I could only take one cat with me to my new living arrangements. Sox was 15 yo but in good health. I took him to the animal shelter and gave up ownership with the hope that someone would adopt a 24lb Tuxedo cat. This was in 2008 and there was a lot of animal rescue going on at that time. I hope he got a good home.
Milo was my sole companion for the past 7 years. I was his person. He saw his family go from 3 people, 2 other cats to just him and me. My son moved out on his own but couldn't take Milo due to his allergy. Milo kept me company, was very talkative, would rush to the door if someone knocked or rang the bell (like a watch-cat). He slept in my bed with me. Woke me up when it was morning (to feed him!). Milo watched TV with me sometimes and ALWAYS watched the Annual Westminster Dog Show (intently!). His favorite place to lounge was on my chest (while I watched TV, worked on the computer, or drove him in the car!). He was a total inside cat, never venturing outside.
CONCLUSION
These are just three of the cats that have populated my life, become part of my family, and owned a piece of my heart. When we take on a pet, we have to realize they have an expiration date. Lots of people don't think about a pet being with them for 15-20 years, nor about how close you can become or how involved in their lives. When it gets to the end of their life, it can become all-consuming in the daily caregiving involved, but you do it without a thought. The hardest is when you have to decide if you are being selfish and keeping them here because you can't let go. Luckily, Milo told me in his way that it was time for him to go (for me to let him go). I miss him every day but know that he is in a better place, running and chasing with Sox and Molly.
Saturday, November 15, 2014
WHAT I HAVE TO LEARN...
PREFACE
As the title addresses, what I have to learn...is a lot. I am always learning and hungry to learn. Sometimes the lesson is not so easy to identify. We go through good times and bad times and we should learn something from both, but bad times are harder to substantiate with a lesson. Our reality is made by our thoughts, so we are responsible for both the good and bad. Most people do not want to accept this premise.
STORY
I have recently gone through much change in my life. Experienced trauma in several different ways and I've had to work towards resolving what is the "now" of my life. In April of this year, I was forced out of my long-term housing (5 years in a house and location that I loved!) and had to humbly move back in with my sister. I am exceedingly grateful to her for her generosity because it is a terrible imposition and disruption of her life and home. During this vacation of my home, I broke my leg! The first broken bone of my lifetime. LESSON: I should have started sooner to pack and disseminate all my belongings of 30 years of accumulation, gotten a storage unit, and stored all that I could before it came down to a deadline.
After moving 140 miles to my sister's, and my broken leg healed, I caught a respiratory infection from visiting a cancer treatment center with a family friend who was going through chemotherapy. I was sick for 8 weeks! LESSON: ALWAYS wash your hands and sanitize while visiting a hospital/medical center! WEAR a mask if possible too! And keep your immune system strong (I had run out of most of my supplements that I regularly take to keep my health at optimum.)
I had been sick with coughing, low grade fever, and general exhaustion for 6 weeks before I went to the clinic for evaluation/treatment. I HATE modern medicine and was treating myself with remedies but needed an antibiotic to kick this bug out of me. I had almost healed when my sister gave it back to me again, and I just couldn't fight it off the second round. LESSON: Keep your immune system at optimum.
In one week in October, my family lost two dear family friends and our 19 year old cat. Three deaths within four days. Dan (74) died Wednesday night from complications of cancer treatment, Barry (67) died Tuesday from a heart attack, and Snowball (19 = 92 human years) died in his sleep of old age (warranty on all the parts ran out). This was HELL week for my sister and me. LESSON: Appreciate every day you are given. It's a gift, don't waste it. Tell your loved ones you love them every day.
CONCLUSION
The lessons we are presented with will be presented again and again, if we don't learn from them. I am very bad at meeting deadlines. It's a control thing and I have to get over it. I need to take better care of my health, especially when I'm depressed and overwhelmed. Many difficult times are hard to explain at the time, but great things will come out of tough times if you are open to seeing them, open to positive thoughts about the future. Embrace the present, enjoy your loved ones, and seek joy everyday!
As the title addresses, what I have to learn...is a lot. I am always learning and hungry to learn. Sometimes the lesson is not so easy to identify. We go through good times and bad times and we should learn something from both, but bad times are harder to substantiate with a lesson. Our reality is made by our thoughts, so we are responsible for both the good and bad. Most people do not want to accept this premise.
STORY
I have recently gone through much change in my life. Experienced trauma in several different ways and I've had to work towards resolving what is the "now" of my life. In April of this year, I was forced out of my long-term housing (5 years in a house and location that I loved!) and had to humbly move back in with my sister. I am exceedingly grateful to her for her generosity because it is a terrible imposition and disruption of her life and home. During this vacation of my home, I broke my leg! The first broken bone of my lifetime. LESSON: I should have started sooner to pack and disseminate all my belongings of 30 years of accumulation, gotten a storage unit, and stored all that I could before it came down to a deadline.
After moving 140 miles to my sister's, and my broken leg healed, I caught a respiratory infection from visiting a cancer treatment center with a family friend who was going through chemotherapy. I was sick for 8 weeks! LESSON: ALWAYS wash your hands and sanitize while visiting a hospital/medical center! WEAR a mask if possible too! And keep your immune system strong (I had run out of most of my supplements that I regularly take to keep my health at optimum.)
I had been sick with coughing, low grade fever, and general exhaustion for 6 weeks before I went to the clinic for evaluation/treatment. I HATE modern medicine and was treating myself with remedies but needed an antibiotic to kick this bug out of me. I had almost healed when my sister gave it back to me again, and I just couldn't fight it off the second round. LESSON: Keep your immune system at optimum.
In one week in October, my family lost two dear family friends and our 19 year old cat. Three deaths within four days. Dan (74) died Wednesday night from complications of cancer treatment, Barry (67) died Tuesday from a heart attack, and Snowball (19 = 92 human years) died in his sleep of old age (warranty on all the parts ran out). This was HELL week for my sister and me. LESSON: Appreciate every day you are given. It's a gift, don't waste it. Tell your loved ones you love them every day.
Dan (1940-2014)
Barry (1947-2014)
Snowball (1995-2014)
CONCLUSION
The lessons we are presented with will be presented again and again, if we don't learn from them. I am very bad at meeting deadlines. It's a control thing and I have to get over it. I need to take better care of my health, especially when I'm depressed and overwhelmed. Many difficult times are hard to explain at the time, but great things will come out of tough times if you are open to seeing them, open to positive thoughts about the future. Embrace the present, enjoy your loved ones, and seek joy everyday!
Saturday, August 16, 2014
HEALING, BUT NOT HEALED...AND CAUSING MORE DAMAGE!
PREFACE
Four months later, my broken leg healed but the muscles are not back to normal yet. Fewer days of crying, more days of job hunting, scrambling for part time gigs to get SOME money coming in, and trying my best to show how much I appreciate my sister for all she's done for me.
STORY
I'm doing physical therapy (PT) once a week to strengthen my muscles that went unused/underused for 4 months. I get terrific knee pain when I overdo and the ankle is now being tended to, since there's so much more pressure on it and apparent damage was done there too. Management of pain is paramount at present.
I was tired. Haven't been sleeping well or in any socially acceptable time pattern (I sleep 6am-3pm, vampire hours!). When I have to get up and function in the normal "business" hours and it cuts my sleep time down to under 7 hrs, I get tired and careless (stumbling, banging into things, cutting flesh instead of food in preparation, etc...). On Tuesday (8/12), I had done two standee installations, driven to and photographed a third, and now at home was preparing dinner at 10:30p.m. All of this on 6 hrs sleep! I was heating up leftover meatloaf and while removing a plate I had placed as a warming plate on top of the food, it slipped out of my hands...dropped edge-first onto my left big toe...landing just below the bottom of the toenail. It didn't hurt at first, more than to say a slight profanity at my clumsiness. The "oh, f**k!" being drowned out by the clanging and circular-whirring of the dropped plate. Then the PAIN made its way up my leg, spine, and hit my brain center!! I started to cry...it hurt SO bad...like it had been chopped off, or was being continually hit with a ball-pean hammer. I just wanted it to stop!
My sister leapt into action, offering help..."Do you need some ice?"..."You need some ice, right now!" she said after seeing the half inch black mark at the base of my nail, already beginning to bruise...and the redness spreading across my toe. She also got me a Vicadin and sat by me while I writhed in pain for the next 30 minutes...foot up on a pillow, wrapped in an ice bag...me crying (praying for it to stop hurting). She finished our dinner and served it up while we sat in front of the TV. She wanted me to go to the ER. (I am very opposed to frivolous use of the emergency room services, even now that I have health insurance to cover it...THANK YOU OBAMA!!) This pic is of broken toe...day 2.
CONCLUSION
I finally went to sleep with another pain killer and 2 Motrin. I knew right away that I will be losing that toenail. (It's happened before in my life...and you just KNOW.) Now I'm limping on BOTH sides! I hobble around, being extra careful NOT to bump that big toe...OMG! does that hurt! It's been four days and the toenail is almost all black with bruise, under the nail and everything red and swollen around it. I have been icing it and wearing my sandals to keep the pressure off but I still had to do (2) standee installations, (1) Ross shop, and a patron count for (4) showings of The Expendables 3 movie (last night). It's swollen and throbbing, but I have to earn some money! This too shall pass...and I just keep putting one sore foot in front of the other. :)
Four months later, my broken leg healed but the muscles are not back to normal yet. Fewer days of crying, more days of job hunting, scrambling for part time gigs to get SOME money coming in, and trying my best to show how much I appreciate my sister for all she's done for me.
STORY
I'm doing physical therapy (PT) once a week to strengthen my muscles that went unused/underused for 4 months. I get terrific knee pain when I overdo and the ankle is now being tended to, since there's so much more pressure on it and apparent damage was done there too. Management of pain is paramount at present.
I was tired. Haven't been sleeping well or in any socially acceptable time pattern (I sleep 6am-3pm, vampire hours!). When I have to get up and function in the normal "business" hours and it cuts my sleep time down to under 7 hrs, I get tired and careless (stumbling, banging into things, cutting flesh instead of food in preparation, etc...). On Tuesday (8/12), I had done two standee installations, driven to and photographed a third, and now at home was preparing dinner at 10:30p.m. All of this on 6 hrs sleep! I was heating up leftover meatloaf and while removing a plate I had placed as a warming plate on top of the food, it slipped out of my hands...dropped edge-first onto my left big toe...landing just below the bottom of the toenail. It didn't hurt at first, more than to say a slight profanity at my clumsiness. The "oh, f**k!" being drowned out by the clanging and circular-whirring of the dropped plate. Then the PAIN made its way up my leg, spine, and hit my brain center!! I started to cry...it hurt SO bad...like it had been chopped off, or was being continually hit with a ball-pean hammer. I just wanted it to stop!
My sister leapt into action, offering help..."Do you need some ice?"..."You need some ice, right now!" she said after seeing the half inch black mark at the base of my nail, already beginning to bruise...and the redness spreading across my toe. She also got me a Vicadin and sat by me while I writhed in pain for the next 30 minutes...foot up on a pillow, wrapped in an ice bag...me crying (praying for it to stop hurting). She finished our dinner and served it up while we sat in front of the TV. She wanted me to go to the ER. (I am very opposed to frivolous use of the emergency room services, even now that I have health insurance to cover it...THANK YOU OBAMA!!) This pic is of broken toe...day 2.
CONCLUSION
I finally went to sleep with another pain killer and 2 Motrin. I knew right away that I will be losing that toenail. (It's happened before in my life...and you just KNOW.) Now I'm limping on BOTH sides! I hobble around, being extra careful NOT to bump that big toe...OMG! does that hurt! It's been four days and the toenail is almost all black with bruise, under the nail and everything red and swollen around it. I have been icing it and wearing my sandals to keep the pressure off but I still had to do (2) standee installations, (1) Ross shop, and a patron count for (4) showings of The Expendables 3 movie (last night). It's swollen and throbbing, but I have to earn some money! This too shall pass...and I just keep putting one sore foot in front of the other. :)
Saturday, April 26, 2014
MOVING DISASTER
PREFACE:
I wish the best to all of you having to move by choice but please APPRECIATE anyone who is helping you! I just had to vacate my (5 year) rental due to my landlord lost the house in foreclosure and it was auctioned in January. So that means I moved NOT by choice. My 2/2 with 1 car garage was holding the accumulated possessions of 20 years with my late husband, momentos of my son growing up, 14+ years of crafting and fine arts, ongoing eBay sales items, and 10 years of teaching (student work) at college level. I had 60 days to whittle down the mass, pack and store it all...or get rid of it. NOT enough time doing it by myself!
DISASTER STORY:
The last night of moving belongings into a rented UHaul (by myself) ended in a bad step off the back of the truck as I BEGAN to unload this last load into the storage unit. I fell 4 1/2 feet and landed on my right foot, hearing a loud POP in my knee, crumbling down to try to catch myself with my left leg twisting my ankle, down...down...down landing just above my tailbone and then hitting the back of my head on the parking lot blacktop. Laying there for 20 minutes, crying from the pain, in a puddle with a light rain falling on me...not knowing what damage I'd done...the storage facility now closed to incoming traffic...I was completely alone, with a full moving truck to be unloaded! I finally limped and hopped my way back to the cab of the truck, crawled up into it, welcoming the heater available as it was dropping to 59 degrees rapidly! and my cellphone! I called everyone I knew within 50 miles and got mostly voicemail response. It was 9:30 on a Tuesday night. One of my friends said he'd come and bring others to help when I refused to call an ambulance. He came, with a friend and they both unloaded my truck. I couldn't walk but could press the gas pedal to drive the truck back to the house again for the things I had left for last minute loading into my car and distribution to others. They loaded up my UHaul truck again, and unloaded it again into my storage unit. THAT is true friendship!
I am now recuperating with family in a spare room with all that I could pack into my subcompact Toyota. I had to suspend all my online selling, my artwork, and my crafting until I am (literally) on my feet again. Moving doesn't suck, it is a gut-wrenching life event that is like losing a loved one, especially if you aren't in charge of the decision. At this point, 17 days later, I don't know what I saved and stored and what was left to scavengers and the landfill. I have flashbacks about items that I'm not sure I still have in one place or the other. It was traumatic on so many levels that it will be some time before I am able to move forward, much less create and enjoy my arts again.
RESOLUTION: I am allowing myself time to heal. Writing about it is cathartic and hopefully will help others. I am so grateful for my dear friends who helped me through this and my beloved family who is helping me heal. Things can be replaced, people cannot! As long as your move includes those you love, you can always survive.
Wednesday, April 02, 2014
SPRING HAS SPRUNG!
PREFACE
With spring comes renewal. Grass becomes green again, budding leaves and flowers everywhere, and change is in the air. My life is going through a big change and I don't have a clue how it will all turn out!
STORY
My landlord's house was sold at foreclosure auction on January 22nd. I have been getting letters all about it as the "unknown tenant" but with my name right next to that. So "unknown" but named...lol. Fannie Mae bought the house at auction, and is the agency that guaranteed the original "underwater" mortgage. Funny how things work.
It has been very traumatic to have to move again, and in with family again after 5 years of being on my own in a beautiful town and neighborhood. In central Florida, 2 hours from anywhere I would want to go (but didn't, except to visit family...where I'm moving back to!). I'm under a monumental amount of stress right now, and I broke down into uncontrollable crying today, just to slow me down some more.
I am asking myself what decisions did I make to get me here? Was I using good judgement when I signed up for a graduate level class in November and then continued to pursue that decision until I became $1000 in debt to family friend and 3 weeks away from the end of semester, still not knowing if I can pass this course or not. And when I do pass the class, it won't count for anything if I'm not accepted into the MFA program to complete my degree (of which I have 40/60 credits). It's all hanging in limbo, just like me.
Moving back in with my family entails the loss of freedom. No more walking around naked in the morning or sleeping that way at night. No friends allowed over. My cat isn't allowed anywhere there is carpet, so just my room and the enclosed porch. None of my furniture (my bed!) is allowed in except maybe my computer desk. And if I don't pass my class, I'll have to leave...move again!
I am grateful that I have somewhere to go, even if for only a month or two.
CONCLUSION
I must re-examine what I am manifesting if this is where I am right now. I don't want to be at this point, with these decisions and pressure, moving back to where I gladly left 5 years ago. I don't want to be "let go" from another college teaching job after 3 years because I don't have my MFA! I just wish I knew what to do, what to decide. I will meditate (which I have been doing more and more lately) and ask again, and again, and again, until I get a clear answer. My life seems to be nothing but change and renewal. Happy Spring!
With spring comes renewal. Grass becomes green again, budding leaves and flowers everywhere, and change is in the air. My life is going through a big change and I don't have a clue how it will all turn out!
STORY
My landlord's house was sold at foreclosure auction on January 22nd. I have been getting letters all about it as the "unknown tenant" but with my name right next to that. So "unknown" but named...lol. Fannie Mae bought the house at auction, and is the agency that guaranteed the original "underwater" mortgage. Funny how things work.
It has been very traumatic to have to move again, and in with family again after 5 years of being on my own in a beautiful town and neighborhood. In central Florida, 2 hours from anywhere I would want to go (but didn't, except to visit family...where I'm moving back to!). I'm under a monumental amount of stress right now, and I broke down into uncontrollable crying today, just to slow me down some more.
I am asking myself what decisions did I make to get me here? Was I using good judgement when I signed up for a graduate level class in November and then continued to pursue that decision until I became $1000 in debt to family friend and 3 weeks away from the end of semester, still not knowing if I can pass this course or not. And when I do pass the class, it won't count for anything if I'm not accepted into the MFA program to complete my degree (of which I have 40/60 credits). It's all hanging in limbo, just like me.
Moving back in with my family entails the loss of freedom. No more walking around naked in the morning or sleeping that way at night. No friends allowed over. My cat isn't allowed anywhere there is carpet, so just my room and the enclosed porch. None of my furniture (my bed!) is allowed in except maybe my computer desk. And if I don't pass my class, I'll have to leave...move again!
I am grateful that I have somewhere to go, even if for only a month or two.
CONCLUSION
I must re-examine what I am manifesting if this is where I am right now. I don't want to be at this point, with these decisions and pressure, moving back to where I gladly left 5 years ago. I don't want to be "let go" from another college teaching job after 3 years because I don't have my MFA! I just wish I knew what to do, what to decide. I will meditate (which I have been doing more and more lately) and ask again, and again, and again, until I get a clear answer. My life seems to be nothing but change and renewal. Happy Spring!
Sunday, November 10, 2013
AND FALL IS UPON US
PREFACE
Good thoughts. Think of how you want your life to be and it will be. Thought becomes reality. I am really losing patience. Had a birthday, lost my job, may lose my home, car is in need of repair, haven't seen family all summer, NO dating prospects...
STORY
The weather is turning cooler, thank Mother Nature for that! It is a glorious time of year to be outside and to work in my gardens. I have three raised flower gardens in the front of the house and one veggie/herb garden in the back. The water from the well has quit twice now...very late this year for it to be short on water...hmmm. Got 23 plants on Friday from Lowe's, for $24! Such a deal!! Now I have to plant them before they wilt and die. I have been wanting some Cannas to plant and most of them are...some red flowers, some with variegated-striped leaves, some with dark coloring under the leaves...beautiful. And they were going to throw them away!!
I got notice that the house I am living in and have lived in for 4 years is going to be judged for a final foreclosure decision on Dec. 6, 2013. My backdoor neighbor said that even after that, it may be several months before any action against me takes place. I am expecting a miracle.
I haven't heard anything from the college about me teaching in the spring as yet. The schedule came out on November 1st and even if I'm not listed, they should know if they are going to bring me in to teach. I live for teaching, love it so much, and I don't know what to do when I'm not teaching. Teaching is what I am meant to do.
My health has suffered at my own hands. I have been idle for SIX months and my body is showing me that this has to be reversed or I am headed for trouble. My muscle tone is gone, my hip joints hurt...not to mention the increased pain in my knees and back, and I'm starting to look and feel my age. What a horror!! This is not how I want to be. I can change this. Exercise. I have lost 20lbs.
CONCLUSION
Get up, get moving, DO SOMETHING...build the life I want. Peace & Joy!
Good thoughts. Think of how you want your life to be and it will be. Thought becomes reality. I am really losing patience. Had a birthday, lost my job, may lose my home, car is in need of repair, haven't seen family all summer, NO dating prospects...
STORY
The weather is turning cooler, thank Mother Nature for that! It is a glorious time of year to be outside and to work in my gardens. I have three raised flower gardens in the front of the house and one veggie/herb garden in the back. The water from the well has quit twice now...very late this year for it to be short on water...hmmm. Got 23 plants on Friday from Lowe's, for $24! Such a deal!! Now I have to plant them before they wilt and die. I have been wanting some Cannas to plant and most of them are...some red flowers, some with variegated-striped leaves, some with dark coloring under the leaves...beautiful. And they were going to throw them away!!
I got notice that the house I am living in and have lived in for 4 years is going to be judged for a final foreclosure decision on Dec. 6, 2013. My backdoor neighbor said that even after that, it may be several months before any action against me takes place. I am expecting a miracle.
I haven't heard anything from the college about me teaching in the spring as yet. The schedule came out on November 1st and even if I'm not listed, they should know if they are going to bring me in to teach. I live for teaching, love it so much, and I don't know what to do when I'm not teaching. Teaching is what I am meant to do.
My health has suffered at my own hands. I have been idle for SIX months and my body is showing me that this has to be reversed or I am headed for trouble. My muscle tone is gone, my hip joints hurt...not to mention the increased pain in my knees and back, and I'm starting to look and feel my age. What a horror!! This is not how I want to be. I can change this. Exercise. I have lost 20lbs.
CONCLUSION
Get up, get moving, DO SOMETHING...build the life I want. Peace & Joy!
Friday, October 25, 2013
AND HERE WE ARE AGAIN
PREFACE
It seems that every three years, I am unemployed from teaching at college level. Never mind that I don't have my terminal degree (Master's in Fine Arts, like a PhD but not called a PhD, still no degree above it). Never mind that I get higher student review scores than full time professor colleagues. Never mind that I'm a woman, and post-secondary institutions are notorious for being male-heavy in their instructors/professors! Oh, and besides, I have no significant man in my life.
STORY
I have worked for this college for 3 years. I was told that my "credit hours" were to be cut due to Obamacare and I couldn't go over the requirements of 30 hours. WHAT!? I teach 10 hours a WEEK! That requirement to provide health insurance coverage for employees that work over 30 hours...is per WEEK. I teach 4 classes, 2.5hrs each class = 10 hours for fall semester (12 credit hrs). Plus 10 hours for spring semester (12 credit hrs).. Plus 2 classes, 6 hrs/week for 6 weeks for summer terms A and B (12 credit hrs total). That comes to 36 credit hours for the YEAR! not per week. Ok, so cut me back to no classes in the summer = 24 credit hours (NO, TOO CLOSE TO 30!) Frustrating getting a straight answer out of anyone.
Along comes SACS accreditation and 4 adjuncts get axed due to no MFAs. 2 women, 1 black man out of 4. Hmmm. A vague promise to hire me back in the spring when SACS is off their backs. Meanwhile, I'm living on $692 (+ $162 food stamps) per month. Not a whole lotta living-wage jobs out there for a 57 yo woman without a masters degree.
CONCLUSION
I am confident that everything will work out for the best for me. Right now, my depression has kicked in and I have to go to sleep. Tomorrow is another day (actually it's already tomorrow...hmmm, looking out the window...looks like a better day!). Namaste'
It seems that every three years, I am unemployed from teaching at college level. Never mind that I don't have my terminal degree (Master's in Fine Arts, like a PhD but not called a PhD, still no degree above it). Never mind that I get higher student review scores than full time professor colleagues. Never mind that I'm a woman, and post-secondary institutions are notorious for being male-heavy in their instructors/professors! Oh, and besides, I have no significant man in my life.
STORY
I have worked for this college for 3 years. I was told that my "credit hours" were to be cut due to Obamacare and I couldn't go over the requirements of 30 hours. WHAT!? I teach 10 hours a WEEK! That requirement to provide health insurance coverage for employees that work over 30 hours...is per WEEK. I teach 4 classes, 2.5hrs each class = 10 hours for fall semester (12 credit hrs). Plus 10 hours for spring semester (12 credit hrs).. Plus 2 classes, 6 hrs/week for 6 weeks for summer terms A and B (12 credit hrs total). That comes to 36 credit hours for the YEAR! not per week. Ok, so cut me back to no classes in the summer = 24 credit hours (NO, TOO CLOSE TO 30!) Frustrating getting a straight answer out of anyone.
Along comes SACS accreditation and 4 adjuncts get axed due to no MFAs. 2 women, 1 black man out of 4. Hmmm. A vague promise to hire me back in the spring when SACS is off their backs. Meanwhile, I'm living on $692 (+ $162 food stamps) per month. Not a whole lotta living-wage jobs out there for a 57 yo woman without a masters degree.
CONCLUSION
I am confident that everything will work out for the best for me. Right now, my depression has kicked in and I have to go to sleep. Tomorrow is another day (actually it's already tomorrow...hmmm, looking out the window...looks like a better day!). Namaste'
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
RETIREMENT AGE DATING
PREFACE
I have to qualify the title "Retirement Age Dating" to what it means to me at this point in time. It means those single women and men just short of or at retirement age. Now retirement age use to mean 65 (and that is what it means to me) but now full retirement age is 67! or even 70! We are living longer and working longer. Of course, more women are living longer than more men but that's another article. There are a lot of places now that consider ME a senior at 55 and give me the senior discount!
STORY
(1) I have a sister 9 years and 5 months older than I and she has been single for more than 30 years. First single when her husband left her for a 16 yo girl (yes, really!) and then legally divorced from same husband 9 years later so he could marry same girl who was then 25 (!). My sister raised her only son by herself, fighting tooth and nail for support from her well-paid fireman husband. She didn't date because of being legally married and also due to her son (not wanting a parade of men vying for his affections/approval, nor wanting any ammo for the estranged husband on her lifestyle or reputation). She had two serious relationships in the last 20 years but neither worked out satisfactorily. Just recently she put herself on a popular dating site with explicit wants and needs for a companion (not a sex partner or marriage prospect). She got DF who is perfect in a multitude of ways, but she is not romantically nor sexually attracted to him. He so far he is satisfied with the arrangement and caters to her needs and wants without looking for a love commitment or physical involvement.
(2) The lady next door is 63 1/2 and widowed now 5 years. She was very shy about starting to date again but has been steadily seeing a man 10+ years her senior. He is different than any man she has ever known and he doesn't treat her well. He's the first man she has had sex with since her late husband died. The sex is great according to her. Their relationship has been off-and-on over the past two years. He has broken her heart several times only to come back and start it all up again. He tells her to seek out her other options (date other men who are interested) and then becomes jealous and insults her when she does. She dated one man who is very wealthy and could take care of her in style, treats her like a queen (except when he wanted to have sex with her and after she said it was too soon, he said he'd be willing to pay...!...what is wrong with men in their 70's???). Her steady guy is on lots of medications and has recently been taken off two of them. He's back in her life again and she sees a big improvement. Maybe it has been the combination of meds that has made him so "bipolar!" but we'll have to wait and see on that.
(3) And then there's me...55...educated...full-figured...energetic...diverse interests/experiences..healthy sexual appetite. What do I find? Men who want one-night-stands or fall madly in love with me and I feel nothing or I really like them and never get a second date-or-phone call-or-any communication ever again...WTF? This happens across age groups and ethnic groups. I've dated men from 25-64 and most every race. I'm so tired of searching and being disappointed.
CONCLUSION
It is a crap shoot! In my opinion, you have nothing to lose in putting yourself out there, whether it's online or in real life. The only condition is that you have to be willing to accept love into your life. If you send good thoughts and wishes out into the universe, you will draw good things to you. Whether you pray or meditate, do morning and evening affirmations, write down your wants and needs, build a dream board or let go and let God...sooner or later, you will find someone right for you. My wish for you is that you recognize them when they come along!! Happy dating!
I have to qualify the title "Retirement Age Dating" to what it means to me at this point in time. It means those single women and men just short of or at retirement age. Now retirement age use to mean 65 (and that is what it means to me) but now full retirement age is 67! or even 70! We are living longer and working longer. Of course, more women are living longer than more men but that's another article. There are a lot of places now that consider ME a senior at 55 and give me the senior discount!
STORY
(1) I have a sister 9 years and 5 months older than I and she has been single for more than 30 years. First single when her husband left her for a 16 yo girl (yes, really!) and then legally divorced from same husband 9 years later so he could marry same girl who was then 25 (!). My sister raised her only son by herself, fighting tooth and nail for support from her well-paid fireman husband. She didn't date because of being legally married and also due to her son (not wanting a parade of men vying for his affections/approval, nor wanting any ammo for the estranged husband on her lifestyle or reputation). She had two serious relationships in the last 20 years but neither worked out satisfactorily. Just recently she put herself on a popular dating site with explicit wants and needs for a companion (not a sex partner or marriage prospect). She got DF who is perfect in a multitude of ways, but she is not romantically nor sexually attracted to him. He so far he is satisfied with the arrangement and caters to her needs and wants without looking for a love commitment or physical involvement.
(2) The lady next door is 63 1/2 and widowed now 5 years. She was very shy about starting to date again but has been steadily seeing a man 10+ years her senior. He is different than any man she has ever known and he doesn't treat her well. He's the first man she has had sex with since her late husband died. The sex is great according to her. Their relationship has been off-and-on over the past two years. He has broken her heart several times only to come back and start it all up again. He tells her to seek out her other options (date other men who are interested) and then becomes jealous and insults her when she does. She dated one man who is very wealthy and could take care of her in style, treats her like a queen (except when he wanted to have sex with her and after she said it was too soon, he said he'd be willing to pay...!...what is wrong with men in their 70's???). Her steady guy is on lots of medications and has recently been taken off two of them. He's back in her life again and she sees a big improvement. Maybe it has been the combination of meds that has made him so "bipolar!" but we'll have to wait and see on that.
(3) And then there's me...55...educated...full-figured...energetic...diverse interests/experiences..healthy sexual appetite. What do I find? Men who want one-night-stands or fall madly in love with me and I feel nothing or I really like them and never get a second date-or-phone call-or-any communication ever again...WTF? This happens across age groups and ethnic groups. I've dated men from 25-64 and most every race. I'm so tired of searching and being disappointed.
CONCLUSION
It is a crap shoot! In my opinion, you have nothing to lose in putting yourself out there, whether it's online or in real life. The only condition is that you have to be willing to accept love into your life. If you send good thoughts and wishes out into the universe, you will draw good things to you. Whether you pray or meditate, do morning and evening affirmations, write down your wants and needs, build a dream board or let go and let God...sooner or later, you will find someone right for you. My wish for you is that you recognize them when they come along!! Happy dating!
Monday, June 06, 2011
NOT REALLY INTO THEM
PREFACE
You meet for the first time, you know within five minutes that you are not into this person as a romantic interest. It might be possible that you could be friends but do you really want to invest the time in getting to know each other? Maybe, maybe not. You may even go so far as to give it the chance of a goodnight kiss. Still nothing. Do you tell them now? Before you part ways?
STORY
I hear different responses from different friends. (1) Tell the person right away that you are not interested in a second date. (2) Give it a chance by agreeing to a second date and see what happens. (3) Let them know as soon as communication exchanged between the two of you has given you enough indication that this relationship is not going anywhere. (4) Go out several times and give it enough time to grow to like/love the person. (5) Don't be so picky. Anyone can become a soul mate. (This last one I really DON'T understand!)
Are we so thin skinned that we cannot take rejection? Or so afraid of being insensitive or "the bad guy" that we can't be adult and honest? Is it better to be with someone who doesn't feel the same affection towards us, rather than be alone or to avoid hurting their feelings?
CONCLUSION
My answer...NO! DO NOT SETTLE!! Being alone is not the same as being lonely. Anyone can find things to fill "alone time" without having to be constantly entertained or affirmed. Go with your instincts and be honest. It is the only way to be true to yourself. And after all is said and done, you have to live with yourself! Happy Dating!!
You meet for the first time, you know within five minutes that you are not into this person as a romantic interest. It might be possible that you could be friends but do you really want to invest the time in getting to know each other? Maybe, maybe not. You may even go so far as to give it the chance of a goodnight kiss. Still nothing. Do you tell them now? Before you part ways?
STORY
I hear different responses from different friends. (1) Tell the person right away that you are not interested in a second date. (2) Give it a chance by agreeing to a second date and see what happens. (3) Let them know as soon as communication exchanged between the two of you has given you enough indication that this relationship is not going anywhere. (4) Go out several times and give it enough time to grow to like/love the person. (5) Don't be so picky. Anyone can become a soul mate. (This last one I really DON'T understand!)
Are we so thin skinned that we cannot take rejection? Or so afraid of being insensitive or "the bad guy" that we can't be adult and honest? Is it better to be with someone who doesn't feel the same affection towards us, rather than be alone or to avoid hurting their feelings?
CONCLUSION
My answer...NO! DO NOT SETTLE!! Being alone is not the same as being lonely. Anyone can find things to fill "alone time" without having to be constantly entertained or affirmed. Go with your instincts and be honest. It is the only way to be true to yourself. And after all is said and done, you have to live with yourself! Happy Dating!!
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
OUTBACK: PART DEUX
PREFACE
Two weeks ago I went to dinner with AW at Outback. I was running late and called him on my way to the restaurant which is only considerate. I was 20 minutes late which might have sent many men into a tantrum but AW was cool with it. He's easy-going, polite, attentive, and attractive. So why wouldn't I give him a chance to make me happy?
STORY
I am not physically attracted to him. There...I said it. I can't imagine myself having sex with him. Women can say this. Men can think about having sex with any woman (they make a multitude of jokes about it) or go through with sex with a woman while thinking of another woman (not saying that women don't do this too). Women think too much. We over-think everything, most of the time. It is our un-doing!
The first red flag was his statement that he just wanted to go to dinner and not a movie, because he didn't want to share the time with a movie. Meaning that he wanted no distractions from concentrating his attention on me. He just wants to cuddle with me. To watch a movie at my house and just "chill" with a pizza would make him happy. Starting to sound too familiar.
CONCLUSION
So I was going to tell him that he shouldn't waste any more time pursuing me. But maybe he wants to...waste his time. I am too nice. There are numerous women who would have him take them to dinner, movies, expensive shows, concerts, and spend, spend, spend...not me. I like him but he doesn't stimulate me intellectually.
Two weeks ago I went to dinner with AW at Outback. I was running late and called him on my way to the restaurant which is only considerate. I was 20 minutes late which might have sent many men into a tantrum but AW was cool with it. He's easy-going, polite, attentive, and attractive. So why wouldn't I give him a chance to make me happy?
STORY
I am not physically attracted to him. There...I said it. I can't imagine myself having sex with him. Women can say this. Men can think about having sex with any woman (they make a multitude of jokes about it) or go through with sex with a woman while thinking of another woman (not saying that women don't do this too). Women think too much. We over-think everything, most of the time. It is our un-doing!
The first red flag was his statement that he just wanted to go to dinner and not a movie, because he didn't want to share the time with a movie. Meaning that he wanted no distractions from concentrating his attention on me. He just wants to cuddle with me. To watch a movie at my house and just "chill" with a pizza would make him happy. Starting to sound too familiar.
CONCLUSION
So I was going to tell him that he shouldn't waste any more time pursuing me. But maybe he wants to...waste his time. I am too nice. There are numerous women who would have him take them to dinner, movies, expensive shows, concerts, and spend, spend, spend...not me. I like him but he doesn't stimulate me intellectually.
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