PREFACE
For those who don't know, when you start a new semester in college you go through stages. First the gathering of supplies...books mostly, then the adjusting your time to meet the required instruction, study time, assignment submissions, and feedback from the instructor. You learn what's expected from him/her and what the rules are. Online courses are no different but you have the added element of technology.
STORY
It takes me about two weeks to adjust at the beginning and this has always been okay, for courses that last 16 weeks. I am now on a 10 week course schedule and haven't made THAT adjustment. A week into this new experience, I failed to get my books on time by one day (called on Friday to order them and was told my financial aid voucher had to be used by the PREVIOUS day). OK...no problem...I'll get my loan check in time to order my books and have them by the fourth week of classes (not remembering that I only HAVE ten weeks!). Then around the 10th or 11th day, I strained a muscle in my back and couldn't sit up in a chair or in bed! I could lie down or stand up...that's it! It made it almost impossible to do my classwork, so I fell behind. My instructor was understanding since she also suffers from back problems. Two weeks later and as much behind in my work, I finally started getting some of my required books. Except ONE I needed for week 3 and week 5 reading, which the professor didn't post. So I continue to struggle with catching up.
CONCLUSION
The obligation and commitment of earning a degree is still a scheduled thing even if it is not in a physical classroom on a campus. Discipline and organization are the keys to success in academic pursuits. And it also helps to like what you are studying (the good stuff and the boring). It is all in your attitude. You decide if it is worth it or not.
Friday, October 30, 2009
Sunday, October 25, 2009
eHARMONY SUCKS!!
PREFACE
This is my opinion so there is no reason for legal action. It is my experience that with all it's hype and extreme advertising budget, eHarmony sucks as a dating service. They will have you believe that because you go through an "extensive" psychological profile questionaire, that you will have much more success in finding "a true match" on their site. And when you have paid your money (one of the MOST expensive online dating site fees) and nothing happens, they tell you that it takes time to find the right match FOR YOU. Here is my experience with eHarmony. I hope it helps you or that you can identify and sympathize.
STORY
In a (fairly) quick check back into my closed matches from eHarmony, my preliminary start date with them seems to have been August 13th, 2003. That would have been the date I filled out the psychological questionaire to give them a good idea of who I am and who I'm looking for as a match. Since then, they have sent me 2100+ matches...NONE of which I have met! I have gotten to the open communication stage with a few and have spoken on the phone with approximately three (3). In six (6) years of on again, off again membership...not one face-to-face meeting. I have had full membership on several occasions and have taken advantage of the "free communication" weekends they have been offering during the past year. Nothing! Nada! Zilch!
MOST EXPENSIVE
They charge $59.95 for one month! The most expensive service online at the moment, if you don't count the personal service companies with dating counselors/coaches who work with you one-on-one. The cheapest they get is $19.95/mon. if you pay a year in advance. They will also run specials of 3 months @ $59.95 (which works out to approx. $20/mo. and is comparable to other online dating services and they have recently allowed the payments to be taken out monthly over the three month period, instead of all at once...nice, considering the economy).
LEAST SUCCESSFUL
Just as an example of the success rate, I spent 90 minutes today just clearing my NEW matches. Their system of reviewing your matches is way too time consuming. I have filters on who they are suppose to send me as matches, and they don't even pay attention to my preferences.
They pride themselves on a 'guided' system of communication to protect their members and make sure that both parties are 'right' for each other before they are 'allowed' to communicate directly. This system was modified a couple of years ago to include the option to "Fast Track" the communications between matches, IF both were paying members and both agreed to immediate contact. You cannot see a non-paying member's photos, nor contact a non-paying member other than 'Icebreakers' which consist of a short list of common contact phrases which can be shared for free...ONCE...between two members. So if you are paying your $60, you can't contact someone who isn't paying. And you have to be very vigilant during the 'free contact' weekends to get through the long arduous process of sending questions back and forth to get to the 'open communication' step. (That is if you haven't figured out how to put contact information into the open-ended response section...Hopefully, nobody at eHarmony will read this and close THAT loophole.)
Has anyone noticed that the couples they show in the commercials for eHarmony have wedding dates that are several years ago? Are they still together? Anybody gotten married as a result of meeting through eHarmony in the last two years?? It's all very suspicious.
CONCLUSION
I have had my profile on eHarmony for over six (6) years and haven't met one man face-to-face. I have met many men from other online dating sites...some that charge, some that are free. The MOST the others charge is $24.95...even for the MILLIONAIRE dating sites! My guess is that the membership fees are so expensive to pay for the huge advertising budget.
I would really like to hear from any online daters out there who have met anyone through eHarmony!! Please, send me your story! Anyone? even if it didn't progress past a face-to-face meeting or a second date...anyone?!
This is my opinion so there is no reason for legal action. It is my experience that with all it's hype and extreme advertising budget, eHarmony sucks as a dating service. They will have you believe that because you go through an "extensive" psychological profile questionaire, that you will have much more success in finding "a true match" on their site. And when you have paid your money (one of the MOST expensive online dating site fees) and nothing happens, they tell you that it takes time to find the right match FOR YOU. Here is my experience with eHarmony. I hope it helps you or that you can identify and sympathize.
STORY
In a (fairly) quick check back into my closed matches from eHarmony, my preliminary start date with them seems to have been August 13th, 2003. That would have been the date I filled out the psychological questionaire to give them a good idea of who I am and who I'm looking for as a match. Since then, they have sent me 2100+ matches...NONE of which I have met! I have gotten to the open communication stage with a few and have spoken on the phone with approximately three (3). In six (6) years of on again, off again membership...not one face-to-face meeting. I have had full membership on several occasions and have taken advantage of the "free communication" weekends they have been offering during the past year. Nothing! Nada! Zilch!
MOST EXPENSIVE
They charge $59.95 for one month! The most expensive service online at the moment, if you don't count the personal service companies with dating counselors/coaches who work with you one-on-one. The cheapest they get is $19.95/mon. if you pay a year in advance. They will also run specials of 3 months @ $59.95 (which works out to approx. $20/mo. and is comparable to other online dating services and they have recently allowed the payments to be taken out monthly over the three month period, instead of all at once...nice, considering the economy).
LEAST SUCCESSFUL
Just as an example of the success rate, I spent 90 minutes today just clearing my NEW matches. Their system of reviewing your matches is way too time consuming. I have filters on who they are suppose to send me as matches, and they don't even pay attention to my preferences.
They pride themselves on a 'guided' system of communication to protect their members and make sure that both parties are 'right' for each other before they are 'allowed' to communicate directly. This system was modified a couple of years ago to include the option to "Fast Track" the communications between matches, IF both were paying members and both agreed to immediate contact. You cannot see a non-paying member's photos, nor contact a non-paying member other than 'Icebreakers' which consist of a short list of common contact phrases which can be shared for free...ONCE...between two members. So if you are paying your $60, you can't contact someone who isn't paying. And you have to be very vigilant during the 'free contact' weekends to get through the long arduous process of sending questions back and forth to get to the 'open communication' step. (That is if you haven't figured out how to put contact information into the open-ended response section...Hopefully, nobody at eHarmony will read this and close THAT loophole.)
Has anyone noticed that the couples they show in the commercials for eHarmony have wedding dates that are several years ago? Are they still together? Anybody gotten married as a result of meeting through eHarmony in the last two years?? It's all very suspicious.
CONCLUSION
I have had my profile on eHarmony for over six (6) years and haven't met one man face-to-face. I have met many men from other online dating sites...some that charge, some that are free. The MOST the others charge is $24.95...even for the MILLIONAIRE dating sites! My guess is that the membership fees are so expensive to pay for the huge advertising budget.
I would really like to hear from any online daters out there who have met anyone through eHarmony!! Please, send me your story! Anyone? even if it didn't progress past a face-to-face meeting or a second date...anyone?!
Monday, October 05, 2009
FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL...ONLINE
PREFACE
Today I start my graduate program online. I found an accredited university that offered a near-perfect program and worked with me to resolve my academic 'issues' so that I could enroll and continue my pursuit of a Master's degree.
STORY
Back at the turn of the century (lol, love saying that) I was working on two Master's degrees at the same time, which had nothing to do with one another and none of the credits crossed over and counted in the other program. I started one in Educational Technology in 1998 and got into the second one in Fine Arts (terminal degree like a PhD) in 2000. That's when I started teaching a class as a requirement (as a Graduate Teaching Assistant or GTA). As long as you are at least half-time, you can put off payback forever (theoretically). The plan was to stay in school to avoid paying my education loans...no, not really. The plan was to get my Master's in Graphic Design and teach at the college level. The MEd was to bridge the gap between my Bachelor's in Fine Arts and being able to get into the Master's in Fine Arts. (They make you wait 2 years!)
In October of 2002, my husband died and I couldn't bring myself to graduate that semester with my first Master's in Education, as I'm sure you can understand. My studies faltered, I was a wreck and in my efforts to put one foot in front of the other, I continued to take classes, teach my GTA class and start a new job at a local university on the provision that I completed one of my degrees. Three years later and a constant head-butting with the new dean, I was fired for not having my degree.
That was 2006 and I have been unemployed and employed for three years; as a graphic designer, unemployed, as a waitress and substitute teacher, and again unemployed since January 2009. I found the online university and enrolled in the Master's in Instructional Design for Online Learners (IDOL...lol, ohhhh, the irony!). It's perfect! I can teach again, from ANYWHERE! It allows the freedom from scheduled times in physical classrooms and fits well with my night owl tendencies. I can log in to the courseroom, read comments, post comments, or submit a paper at 3AM. How cool is that?
CONCLUSION
It is my sincere wish to teach art online. It is a bold undertaking in the face of many nay-sayers but that does not deter me. So now I am starting on my way towards my goal and it's so exciting. Once I have the degree, I can apply to colleges expanding their online courses, which is a big trend in this economy with everyone going back to school to beef up their skills or change careers. And it saves the institutions from building new structures to house the demand. It is the future.
Today I start my graduate program online. I found an accredited university that offered a near-perfect program and worked with me to resolve my academic 'issues' so that I could enroll and continue my pursuit of a Master's degree.
STORY
Back at the turn of the century (lol, love saying that) I was working on two Master's degrees at the same time, which had nothing to do with one another and none of the credits crossed over and counted in the other program. I started one in Educational Technology in 1998 and got into the second one in Fine Arts (terminal degree like a PhD) in 2000. That's when I started teaching a class as a requirement (as a Graduate Teaching Assistant or GTA). As long as you are at least half-time, you can put off payback forever (theoretically). The plan was to stay in school to avoid paying my education loans...no, not really. The plan was to get my Master's in Graphic Design and teach at the college level. The MEd was to bridge the gap between my Bachelor's in Fine Arts and being able to get into the Master's in Fine Arts. (They make you wait 2 years!)
In October of 2002, my husband died and I couldn't bring myself to graduate that semester with my first Master's in Education, as I'm sure you can understand. My studies faltered, I was a wreck and in my efforts to put one foot in front of the other, I continued to take classes, teach my GTA class and start a new job at a local university on the provision that I completed one of my degrees. Three years later and a constant head-butting with the new dean, I was fired for not having my degree.
That was 2006 and I have been unemployed and employed for three years; as a graphic designer, unemployed, as a waitress and substitute teacher, and again unemployed since January 2009. I found the online university and enrolled in the Master's in Instructional Design for Online Learners (IDOL...lol, ohhhh, the irony!). It's perfect! I can teach again, from ANYWHERE! It allows the freedom from scheduled times in physical classrooms and fits well with my night owl tendencies. I can log in to the courseroom, read comments, post comments, or submit a paper at 3AM. How cool is that?
CONCLUSION
It is my sincere wish to teach art online. It is a bold undertaking in the face of many nay-sayers but that does not deter me. So now I am starting on my way towards my goal and it's so exciting. Once I have the degree, I can apply to colleges expanding their online courses, which is a big trend in this economy with everyone going back to school to beef up their skills or change careers. And it saves the institutions from building new structures to house the demand. It is the future.
Friday, September 18, 2009
DATING CYCLE
PREFACE
Over the last 6 1/2 years that I've been online dating, I've observed a dating cycle. I'm on several dating sites and most of the year I get 2-4 nibbles (emails) a day. There are certain times of year that there is no activity. I haven't figured out why this happens but it has happened recently over the past 3 weeks. No new contacts, no new emails until about two days ago.
STORY
I check my online dating sites at least every two days for new emails. I also receive notification emails telling me I have mail. The past several weeks, there's been very little activity. When this happens, I go into my accounts and stir things up a bit. Maybe post a few new pictures or rewrite my essay. I might view those men who have viewed my profile, causing me to show up as having viewed them. Or I'll add ones I'm interested in to my favorites (black book..or whatever the site calls it). This lets them know that I'm more interested than just a look. I feel that if they can't get the idea from that, then they're probably not smart enough to keep up with me anyway. Sometimes I'll send a wink or a 'free' icebreaker to show interest. Then it's up to them to send me an email.
Every once in a while I take a special offer from eHarmony if they offer 3 months for the price of one month. They are a VERY expensive service that doesn't produce any results. Even their commercials show couples that were married years ago and no one says whether they are STILL married today. My favorite services are Plentyoffish and Bookofmatches, both of which are FREE and through which I have met several men. They include forums to express opinions for like-minded matches and Plentyoffish has taken the 'community' feel a step further by it's members organizing events locally to get members out in social situations but with the comfort of being in a group. I have attended many of these events and I've had a great time. They do this without charging a fee for membership. I don't think you should have to pay for a matchmaking service.
CONCLUSION
Thursday and Friday I got about six new emails each day, so it looks like the dry spell has ended. Though I wasn't interested in any of the men who tried to contact me, at least it was something. I would say that I respond to one out of 10 emails, other than to just thank them for their interest and wish them luck. Being on more than one dating site is viewed by some men as being a player, but I think that is only if you stay on them after you have found a serious relationship. If a man is put off by you playing the field and giving yourself as many options and opportunities to find happiness, then he has a narrow view of what dating has become in the 21st century. Pass on him, and move on to the wonders of dating and finding THE right man for you.
Over the last 6 1/2 years that I've been online dating, I've observed a dating cycle. I'm on several dating sites and most of the year I get 2-4 nibbles (emails) a day. There are certain times of year that there is no activity. I haven't figured out why this happens but it has happened recently over the past 3 weeks. No new contacts, no new emails until about two days ago.
STORY
I check my online dating sites at least every two days for new emails. I also receive notification emails telling me I have mail. The past several weeks, there's been very little activity. When this happens, I go into my accounts and stir things up a bit. Maybe post a few new pictures or rewrite my essay. I might view those men who have viewed my profile, causing me to show up as having viewed them. Or I'll add ones I'm interested in to my favorites (black book..or whatever the site calls it). This lets them know that I'm more interested than just a look. I feel that if they can't get the idea from that, then they're probably not smart enough to keep up with me anyway. Sometimes I'll send a wink or a 'free' icebreaker to show interest. Then it's up to them to send me an email.
Every once in a while I take a special offer from eHarmony if they offer 3 months for the price of one month. They are a VERY expensive service that doesn't produce any results. Even their commercials show couples that were married years ago and no one says whether they are STILL married today. My favorite services are Plentyoffish and Bookofmatches, both of which are FREE and through which I have met several men. They include forums to express opinions for like-minded matches and Plentyoffish has taken the 'community' feel a step further by it's members organizing events locally to get members out in social situations but with the comfort of being in a group. I have attended many of these events and I've had a great time. They do this without charging a fee for membership. I don't think you should have to pay for a matchmaking service.
CONCLUSION
Thursday and Friday I got about six new emails each day, so it looks like the dry spell has ended. Though I wasn't interested in any of the men who tried to contact me, at least it was something. I would say that I respond to one out of 10 emails, other than to just thank them for their interest and wish them luck. Being on more than one dating site is viewed by some men as being a player, but I think that is only if you stay on them after you have found a serious relationship. If a man is put off by you playing the field and giving yourself as many options and opportunities to find happiness, then he has a narrow view of what dating has become in the 21st century. Pass on him, and move on to the wonders of dating and finding THE right man for you.
Saturday, September 12, 2009
NO SEX SATURDAY
PREFACE
Having had a few days of "not feeling so healthy" I was looking forward to a massage and little sex today from my married lover. He is my handyman, my 'rent-a-husband' (for real!), and he gives me attention for about four hours on Saturday starting around 2PM. But not today.
STORY
I woke up to my alarm clock at 11AM, but had had only 7 hrs sleep and needed more. I reset my alarm for 12N and went back to sleep. At noon, the alarm went off again, so I hit the snooze (10mins extra)...three times! and finally was awake at 12:30PM. I texted my lover good morning and waited. WS replied that he wasn't able to come today due to dental problems. I texted him back and told him to rest and heal, and that I missed him.
Feeling a little let down, I got an IM and a phone call from a prospective lover who lives 90 mins NW of me, but we've never hooked up as yet. LC is also in the handyman crafts, recently divorced, and he works 6 days a week. Today he took off work for mental health and is taking off next Saturday too. Now my dilemma is: Do I start a sexual relationship with LC, who is not married but also not available but every once in a while due to work? Do I really want to start a purely sexual thing or do I hold out for a local, full relationship?
I was suppose to go to a movie & drinks/live music last night with KS who I met on Tagged. We've spoken on the phone a couple of times and he REALLY wants to meet me and take me out. I told him it would be as friends (since he's a little older than I date). Then his work had an emergency and he couldn't call me on his cell due to reception interference (at the airport where he works). I got notice of this after waiting...ready to go...all made up...two hours past the time he said he'd call. I figured I was stood-up and went online to Tagged to play some Mafia Wars and check emails. His email was there explaining what had happened. I wasn't mad...shit happens. I told him that I had plans for Saturday, so he had suggested that maybe we could go to the movie on Sunday. I emailed him back that would be good.
CONCLUSION
So today I'm working on projects, self-improvement and home-improvement. Taking my time with no one pushing me to 'get it done' or waiting for me to be ready to go. As a mature single woman, playing the field can give you many choices. I am not a 'player' since I do not lie about my relationships to anyone in a relationship with me. If a man asks me if I'm dating anyone else, I tell him the truth. If he asks me if I'm having sex with anyone else, again I tell him the truth. If they ask the question, they better be prepared for the truthful answer. I don't volunteer the information unless asked. It's not their business unless they want to make it their business. This all changes if there are serious emotions involved between both me and the man. I am all for being exclusive, but I also exercise the freedom that men have had for centuries. My happiness is exploring all the possibilities available to me.
Having had a few days of "not feeling so healthy" I was looking forward to a massage and little sex today from my married lover. He is my handyman, my 'rent-a-husband' (for real!), and he gives me attention for about four hours on Saturday starting around 2PM. But not today.
STORY
I woke up to my alarm clock at 11AM, but had had only 7 hrs sleep and needed more. I reset my alarm for 12N and went back to sleep. At noon, the alarm went off again, so I hit the snooze (10mins extra)...three times! and finally was awake at 12:30PM. I texted my lover good morning and waited. WS replied that he wasn't able to come today due to dental problems. I texted him back and told him to rest and heal, and that I missed him.
Feeling a little let down, I got an IM and a phone call from a prospective lover who lives 90 mins NW of me, but we've never hooked up as yet. LC is also in the handyman crafts, recently divorced, and he works 6 days a week. Today he took off work for mental health and is taking off next Saturday too. Now my dilemma is: Do I start a sexual relationship with LC, who is not married but also not available but every once in a while due to work? Do I really want to start a purely sexual thing or do I hold out for a local, full relationship?
I was suppose to go to a movie & drinks/live music last night with KS who I met on Tagged. We've spoken on the phone a couple of times and he REALLY wants to meet me and take me out. I told him it would be as friends (since he's a little older than I date). Then his work had an emergency and he couldn't call me on his cell due to reception interference (at the airport where he works). I got notice of this after waiting...ready to go...all made up...two hours past the time he said he'd call. I figured I was stood-up and went online to Tagged to play some Mafia Wars and check emails. His email was there explaining what had happened. I wasn't mad...shit happens. I told him that I had plans for Saturday, so he had suggested that maybe we could go to the movie on Sunday. I emailed him back that would be good.
CONCLUSION
So today I'm working on projects, self-improvement and home-improvement. Taking my time with no one pushing me to 'get it done' or waiting for me to be ready to go. As a mature single woman, playing the field can give you many choices. I am not a 'player' since I do not lie about my relationships to anyone in a relationship with me. If a man asks me if I'm dating anyone else, I tell him the truth. If he asks me if I'm having sex with anyone else, again I tell him the truth. If they ask the question, they better be prepared for the truthful answer. I don't volunteer the information unless asked. It's not their business unless they want to make it their business. This all changes if there are serious emotions involved between both me and the man. I am all for being exclusive, but I also exercise the freedom that men have had for centuries. My happiness is exploring all the possibilities available to me.
Tuesday, September 08, 2009
SELF IMPROVEMENT
PREFACE
As human beings we strive to improve ourselves. It's a basic need to reach self-actualizaiton or what some call enlightenment. Take into consideration that there is an enormous population of humans that will never reach enlightenment because they live in horrendous conditions where ignorance is the rule, to keep the masses controllable. In a country like ours, this should not be, but unfortunately it does exist. Mazlow's Heirarchy of Needs shows that self-actualization can only happen when all the other needs are met. The deficiency needs, of which self esteem is just below self-actualization, have to be met before moving on to the next level. With our tough economic times, self esteem has taken a hit.
STORY
There is a plethora of self improvement systems out there.
The Law of Attraction. This particular idea is so evident and easy to understand that most don't get it. It is based on breaking habits of negativity and thinking your way into a better life. Good thoughts attract good things. Believing the you are already at the place you want to be, things are already taken care of, and eliminating worry from your life.
Visualizing is closely related. As something that very successful people from all walks of life have testified to, visualization works. An athlete crossing the finish line is never surprised that they won, because they already saw themselves doing it. It is something that many people have to practice in the beginning. Vision Boards and Dream Posters were the first visual representation of what you want, your goals. Now there are MindMovies which gives free generic movies which uses visual images and music which taps into brain frequencies to align the mind and the brain. You see what you want and your mind is receptive. Or you can create your own specific mindmovie to manifest your dreams.
Motivational tapes and seminars to help you through your self improvement. Motivating people to get out of their own way in becoming successful in their lives, in getting a better life, and finding their true calling. Many of these will involve making money or providing a steady income. And some claim the "get rich quick" theme that is so familiar. You can waste lots of money on these if YOU are not prepared to succeed, and many are not. YOU have to know what you want, what your dreams are and what you would do if they were realized. Otherwise, FEAR will take over and you will never follow through. If you are more comfortable on paper, in writing, then you can write your story the way you want it to be. And there are many others out there, I have only listed a few that I personally have checked out and have found helped me. If something strikes a chord with you, if it makes you excited...go for it! and follow through! If you are worried how you'll pay for it, believe that you will have the money somehow when you need it. Move forward towards your dream.
CONCLUSION
You can have your dream. You deserve it. You must prepare for it. Eliminate negative from your life. Don't let others draw you into their negative, fearful lives. It is all right to request that others around you not talk about negative things. Stop watching the news. Filter your news to stay informed but stop taking in all the negative, all the time. DREAM BIG!! ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE!
As human beings we strive to improve ourselves. It's a basic need to reach self-actualizaiton or what some call enlightenment. Take into consideration that there is an enormous population of humans that will never reach enlightenment because they live in horrendous conditions where ignorance is the rule, to keep the masses controllable. In a country like ours, this should not be, but unfortunately it does exist. Mazlow's Heirarchy of Needs shows that self-actualization can only happen when all the other needs are met. The deficiency needs, of which self esteem is just below self-actualization, have to be met before moving on to the next level. With our tough economic times, self esteem has taken a hit.
STORY
There is a plethora of self improvement systems out there.
The Law of Attraction. This particular idea is so evident and easy to understand that most don't get it. It is based on breaking habits of negativity and thinking your way into a better life. Good thoughts attract good things. Believing the you are already at the place you want to be, things are already taken care of, and eliminating worry from your life.
Visualizing is closely related. As something that very successful people from all walks of life have testified to, visualization works. An athlete crossing the finish line is never surprised that they won, because they already saw themselves doing it. It is something that many people have to practice in the beginning. Vision Boards and Dream Posters were the first visual representation of what you want, your goals. Now there are MindMovies which gives free generic movies which uses visual images and music which taps into brain frequencies to align the mind and the brain. You see what you want and your mind is receptive. Or you can create your own specific mindmovie to manifest your dreams.
Motivational tapes and seminars to help you through your self improvement. Motivating people to get out of their own way in becoming successful in their lives, in getting a better life, and finding their true calling. Many of these will involve making money or providing a steady income. And some claim the "get rich quick" theme that is so familiar. You can waste lots of money on these if YOU are not prepared to succeed, and many are not. YOU have to know what you want, what your dreams are and what you would do if they were realized. Otherwise, FEAR will take over and you will never follow through. If you are more comfortable on paper, in writing, then you can write your story the way you want it to be. And there are many others out there, I have only listed a few that I personally have checked out and have found helped me. If something strikes a chord with you, if it makes you excited...go for it! and follow through! If you are worried how you'll pay for it, believe that you will have the money somehow when you need it. Move forward towards your dream.
CONCLUSION
You can have your dream. You deserve it. You must prepare for it. Eliminate negative from your life. Don't let others draw you into their negative, fearful lives. It is all right to request that others around you not talk about negative things. Stop watching the news. Filter your news to stay informed but stop taking in all the negative, all the time. DREAM BIG!! ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE!
Monday, September 07, 2009
LABOR DAY
PREFACE
I am looking for that one special man I can love and share my life with but in the meantime, I intend to bring happiness into my life every day. I have a lover I'm seeing once a week at least and now that I have my regular sex life taken care of, it's time to work on increasing my activity even more. I researched into a local bike-a-thon that I can enter to motivate me to exercise more. I love to ride my bike but haven't ridden once since I moved here almost 6 months ago. Having gained 30 lbs from March to June, I desperately need to get my ass out there and ride!
STORY
Instead I mowed the front lawn. That in itself is good exercise and burns lots of calories. 537 calories burned in 1 hour. I made my goal to start training on Tuesday if the weather permitted. I have to mow the lawn over two days, front yard one day, the backyard the next. If I try it all in one day, I could faint from heat stroke. After all, I live in central Florida and it hasn't started to cool off yet. Another week or two and then the weather is gorgeous...it's what the tourists come down here for.
CONCLUSION
Some exercise is better than no exercise. I am trying to move more every day. 5hrs/day = 20 mins/hour you are awake. This doesn't count when you are sick but still try to move when you can and rest enough to get well. Once you are well again, start back to the goal of 5hrs/day of moving (walking, climbing stairs, bike riding, grocery shopping, doing laundry, gardening, shooting pool, swimming...anything to move!). Love yourself first and love will find you.
I am looking for that one special man I can love and share my life with but in the meantime, I intend to bring happiness into my life every day. I have a lover I'm seeing once a week at least and now that I have my regular sex life taken care of, it's time to work on increasing my activity even more. I researched into a local bike-a-thon that I can enter to motivate me to exercise more. I love to ride my bike but haven't ridden once since I moved here almost 6 months ago. Having gained 30 lbs from March to June, I desperately need to get my ass out there and ride!
STORY
Instead I mowed the front lawn. That in itself is good exercise and burns lots of calories. 537 calories burned in 1 hour. I made my goal to start training on Tuesday if the weather permitted. I have to mow the lawn over two days, front yard one day, the backyard the next. If I try it all in one day, I could faint from heat stroke. After all, I live in central Florida and it hasn't started to cool off yet. Another week or two and then the weather is gorgeous...it's what the tourists come down here for.
CONCLUSION
Some exercise is better than no exercise. I am trying to move more every day. 5hrs/day = 20 mins/hour you are awake. This doesn't count when you are sick but still try to move when you can and rest enough to get well. Once you are well again, start back to the goal of 5hrs/day of moving (walking, climbing stairs, bike riding, grocery shopping, doing laundry, gardening, shooting pool, swimming...anything to move!). Love yourself first and love will find you.
Saturday, September 05, 2009
SEXY SATURDAY
PREFACE
I slept in again, having stayed up until 4AM playing Mafia Wars on Tagged. I had been working on my self improvement program all day Friday; writing out the first exercise, posting on the community board, and answering email. I love my life on my terms. NOT having to get up to an alarm clock, NOT having to drive to a building to work in, and NOT living by anyone else's schedule. It's heaven! I am living my dream life right now, the only things missing are a steady reliable income to sustain me into the future and a special man to share it with. But I'm working on it.
STORY
I had been thinking about WS since his visit on Wednesday. I was even kind of anxious for him to arrive. He usually gets here about 2, but today didn't arrive until almost 3. He's been working on his own house and the job had gotten really involved. We talked about what he had been doing all morning, and then I talked about what I had been doing...all the time, me leaned back sitting in my leather computer chair and him in the dining room chair across from me, with my legs up on his lap on either side of him. He rubbed my legs and ran his hands up under my skirt, discovering the extent of the shaving that I had done the night before. We both vowed to get some work done around the house today...but AFTER...we moved to a more comfortable place...my bedroom of course. He got naked while I went to the bathroom and when I came out, he was on the phone...with his wife. They had a 10 minute conversation while I took the cat out of the room and got a bottle of water. He said he had wanted to get into bed and pose all sexy for me...I told him he didn't have to try to be sexy, he already was sexy.
We played around for a little while, him on the edge of the bed, me standing in front of him. He took my dress off over my head, kissed, fondled, sucked, & licked me in all the appropriate places. I laid him back on the bed and gave him some oral attention (which he thoroughly enjoyed) and then he stopped me, stood up, embraced me, and then entered me with us both standing. It was very erotic and felt great! He said "I've never been able to do that with any other woman before." So we stood there, naked, kissing, having sex...standing up.
He turned me slowly and backed me towards the bed, laid me down without missing a stroke, and we had slow, delicious sex for the next half hour...changing position ever so slightly, this leg here, that leg there, entangled, engulfed...pelvis bone to pelvis bone...tingling, tightening...stop...shutter...start again. It was wonderful. No orgasm for me this time but there will be lots of time for that. We lingered in bed, drinking water and talking. He got up and took a shower (3 minute military shower). Then we started working on re-screening that needed to be done...before he had to leave. We got 4 done. I told him I'd work on the others so they'd be ready for him next Saturday. He said he'd try to see me during the week (which would make me very happy). There is always a certain amount of hugging and kissing, affectionate touching between us...it's very sweet.
CONCLUSION
A little talk, a little sex, a little home improvement work...life is good!
I slept in again, having stayed up until 4AM playing Mafia Wars on Tagged. I had been working on my self improvement program all day Friday; writing out the first exercise, posting on the community board, and answering email. I love my life on my terms. NOT having to get up to an alarm clock, NOT having to drive to a building to work in, and NOT living by anyone else's schedule. It's heaven! I am living my dream life right now, the only things missing are a steady reliable income to sustain me into the future and a special man to share it with. But I'm working on it.
STORY
I had been thinking about WS since his visit on Wednesday. I was even kind of anxious for him to arrive. He usually gets here about 2, but today didn't arrive until almost 3. He's been working on his own house and the job had gotten really involved. We talked about what he had been doing all morning, and then I talked about what I had been doing...all the time, me leaned back sitting in my leather computer chair and him in the dining room chair across from me, with my legs up on his lap on either side of him. He rubbed my legs and ran his hands up under my skirt, discovering the extent of the shaving that I had done the night before. We both vowed to get some work done around the house today...but AFTER...we moved to a more comfortable place...my bedroom of course. He got naked while I went to the bathroom and when I came out, he was on the phone...with his wife. They had a 10 minute conversation while I took the cat out of the room and got a bottle of water. He said he had wanted to get into bed and pose all sexy for me...I told him he didn't have to try to be sexy, he already was sexy.
We played around for a little while, him on the edge of the bed, me standing in front of him. He took my dress off over my head, kissed, fondled, sucked, & licked me in all the appropriate places. I laid him back on the bed and gave him some oral attention (which he thoroughly enjoyed) and then he stopped me, stood up, embraced me, and then entered me with us both standing. It was very erotic and felt great! He said "I've never been able to do that with any other woman before." So we stood there, naked, kissing, having sex...standing up.
He turned me slowly and backed me towards the bed, laid me down without missing a stroke, and we had slow, delicious sex for the next half hour...changing position ever so slightly, this leg here, that leg there, entangled, engulfed...pelvis bone to pelvis bone...tingling, tightening...stop...shutter...start again. It was wonderful. No orgasm for me this time but there will be lots of time for that. We lingered in bed, drinking water and talking. He got up and took a shower (3 minute military shower). Then we started working on re-screening that needed to be done...before he had to leave. We got 4 done. I told him I'd work on the others so they'd be ready for him next Saturday. He said he'd try to see me during the week (which would make me very happy). There is always a certain amount of hugging and kissing, affectionate touching between us...it's very sweet.
CONCLUSION
A little talk, a little sex, a little home improvement work...life is good!
Wednesday, September 02, 2009
A WHOLE LOTTA LOVIN'
PREFACE
Wednesday was like any other day. I had gotten up around noon, started working on my self improvement program. Did laundry, trimmed some bushes, cleaned out the catbox, then decided to make some dinner before settling down to watch one of the three new movies I'd received in the mail. When there was a knock at the front door.
STORY
It was my married lover, dropping by to see me. He'd been on an errand to the airport in Orlando and had some time to come by and spend with me. I was thrilled. My dinner was ready so I loaded up my plate and sat down with WS. He talked while I ate and NCIS was on for background noise. (WS doesn't watch much TV, so he wasn't familiar with the show.) I could care less if the TV is on or not, I just like the background noise sometimes, and I really do enjoy the show (though I've seen all the episodes now, from all the seasons). After I finished eating, he took my plate and put it in the sink (I'm just not use to being pampered, but it IS a wonderful thing). He came back in the living room and said he would have to go soon. He knelt down in front of me, and I spread my legs to bring him in closer, to hug and kiss him. He ran his hands up under my shirt and pulled me closer to the edge of the couch. I unbuckled his pants and we coupled (since I don't wear underware most of the time...it was an irresistable turn on for him). It was a wonderful and unexpected pleasure. I can get use to a regular sex life!
CONCLUSION
Always be open to the unexpected pleasures of life. Savor and enjoy them for what they are. We all are given the same 24 hours, it's just some of us are enjoying it more than others.
Wednesday was like any other day. I had gotten up around noon, started working on my self improvement program. Did laundry, trimmed some bushes, cleaned out the catbox, then decided to make some dinner before settling down to watch one of the three new movies I'd received in the mail. When there was a knock at the front door.
STORY
It was my married lover, dropping by to see me. He'd been on an errand to the airport in Orlando and had some time to come by and spend with me. I was thrilled. My dinner was ready so I loaded up my plate and sat down with WS. He talked while I ate and NCIS was on for background noise. (WS doesn't watch much TV, so he wasn't familiar with the show.) I could care less if the TV is on or not, I just like the background noise sometimes, and I really do enjoy the show (though I've seen all the episodes now, from all the seasons). After I finished eating, he took my plate and put it in the sink (I'm just not use to being pampered, but it IS a wonderful thing). He came back in the living room and said he would have to go soon. He knelt down in front of me, and I spread my legs to bring him in closer, to hug and kiss him. He ran his hands up under my shirt and pulled me closer to the edge of the couch. I unbuckled his pants and we coupled (since I don't wear underware most of the time...it was an irresistable turn on for him). It was a wonderful and unexpected pleasure. I can get use to a regular sex life!
CONCLUSION
Always be open to the unexpected pleasures of life. Savor and enjoy them for what they are. We all are given the same 24 hours, it's just some of us are enjoying it more than others.
Tuesday, September 01, 2009
TOO MUCH STIMULATION
PREFACE
Be careful when starting up a new sexual relationship! Whether it be with the opposite sex or a new sex toy. When we were young and just beginning to explore sex, there's a condition called "The Ditney (sp)" which was defined as "over f**ked and underfed"...or at least in my time. It happened when you got with a new partner and screwed like rabbits. Every which way, every moment available. Sometimes you went for days, just sex...naps...food...more sex, and repeat. (LOL) Well, apparently this can happen when breaking in a new sex toy too (and having more sex with a partner than you're use to). The condition is soreness when urinating, sometimes burning, sometimes pain, due to the overabundance of rubbing in the area of the urinary tract.
STORY
I had a reaction on Tuesday night to all the sex and sex toy play I'd had last week! It was not pleasant but it was short-lived, thank goodness. In the most delicate way I can put it, I had the urge to pee all the time! After 7 hours of it, it became quite painful. Thankfully, after taking some Motrin and drinking lots of water, it did subside. Add to the 'too much stimulation' that I had also been working outside in the heat, losing buckets of sweat and not paying attention to how much water I drank (this was for the two days prior to Tuesday night). So a combination of dehydration and over-stimulation with the Relentless Rabbit caused this urgency to manifest. It had been so long since I had experienced anything like this that I didn't recognize it for what it was. I was looking up the symptoms on the internet (which sometimes the access to so much information CAN be a bad thing) and imagining all sorts of things. Once I realized what had happened and followed my instincts, everything was fine. My instincts told me to increase my intake of water and try to bring down the inflammation, which was probably internal (hence the Motrin).
CONCLUSION
Don't be so paranoid about sex. Those in charge of education unfortunately have been fueled by the organized religions into scaring the crap out of everybody. It's all about controlling the masses. Our children have had it drilled into their heads by the school system that sex is bad (abstain), it will kill you (STDs), or you will get pregnant and ruin your life. In the 21st century, you would have thought we would be more advanced than this as a developed country. Yes, you have to be careful (STDs can be spread orally as well). Yes, you have to use protection (WARNING: lambskin is only good against pregnancy not STDs). Yes, anything in excess is bad for you (there's no shame in using lubricant). So try to practice moderation. And if you get 'The Ditney', just try to cuddle more and cause friction less for a while, or alternate manual stimulation with mechanical, to allow time for recovery. Enjoy your life as a sexual being!
Be careful when starting up a new sexual relationship! Whether it be with the opposite sex or a new sex toy. When we were young and just beginning to explore sex, there's a condition called "The Ditney (sp)" which was defined as "over f**ked and underfed"...or at least in my time. It happened when you got with a new partner and screwed like rabbits. Every which way, every moment available. Sometimes you went for days, just sex...naps...food...more sex, and repeat. (LOL) Well, apparently this can happen when breaking in a new sex toy too (and having more sex with a partner than you're use to). The condition is soreness when urinating, sometimes burning, sometimes pain, due to the overabundance of rubbing in the area of the urinary tract.
STORY
I had a reaction on Tuesday night to all the sex and sex toy play I'd had last week! It was not pleasant but it was short-lived, thank goodness. In the most delicate way I can put it, I had the urge to pee all the time! After 7 hours of it, it became quite painful. Thankfully, after taking some Motrin and drinking lots of water, it did subside. Add to the 'too much stimulation' that I had also been working outside in the heat, losing buckets of sweat and not paying attention to how much water I drank (this was for the two days prior to Tuesday night). So a combination of dehydration and over-stimulation with the Relentless Rabbit caused this urgency to manifest. It had been so long since I had experienced anything like this that I didn't recognize it for what it was. I was looking up the symptoms on the internet (which sometimes the access to so much information CAN be a bad thing) and imagining all sorts of things. Once I realized what had happened and followed my instincts, everything was fine. My instincts told me to increase my intake of water and try to bring down the inflammation, which was probably internal (hence the Motrin).
CONCLUSION
Don't be so paranoid about sex. Those in charge of education unfortunately have been fueled by the organized religions into scaring the crap out of everybody. It's all about controlling the masses. Our children have had it drilled into their heads by the school system that sex is bad (abstain), it will kill you (STDs), or you will get pregnant and ruin your life. In the 21st century, you would have thought we would be more advanced than this as a developed country. Yes, you have to be careful (STDs can be spread orally as well). Yes, you have to use protection (WARNING: lambskin is only good against pregnancy not STDs). Yes, anything in excess is bad for you (there's no shame in using lubricant). So try to practice moderation. And if you get 'The Ditney', just try to cuddle more and cause friction less for a while, or alternate manual stimulation with mechanical, to allow time for recovery. Enjoy your life as a sexual being!
Sunday, August 30, 2009
THE MARRIED MAN
PREFACE
Put aside your opinion of infidelity for this one. I am having an affair with a married man. This is not the first time that I've been single and had a married lover. Discretion is the key here. I was married for 20 years to a man I loved and felt was my best friend. We had an understanding that if either of us were to cheat on the other, it better NOT be discovered! Neither of us were jealous having the confidence that we were strong in our relationship and had no need to go looking outside it (or at least would never let the other know we had). It takes much planning and primary consideration for your spouse, if you are going to have an affair. You cannot risk STDs, evidence that can be discovered, nor guilt about your actions. You must BE THERE for your spouse, if there is ANY need at all. If you violate any of these, you WILL be found out and someone will be hurt. But what if your spouse never finds out and you have your affair? Who is hurt by this?
STORY
We met online on a community oriented website. We emailed back and forth and IM'd once before actually meeting. It was understood that he was to come to my house and complete some repairs (for no compensation) and we would get an idea whether or not it would move to a more affectionate arrangement. He came over the first time and we talked about repairs needed, about each other's lives and where we were at the moment. I cooked him dinner. and we talked some more about our beliefs and ideas. We found much in common. And we kissed at the end of the evening before parting, and confirmed that we both were attracted to each other. He left with us both wanting more.
The next week he came and did several repairs around the house, which was glorious since I couldn't do them. Then we sat on the couch and necked for a while. I massaged his back as he had worked very hard and was sore. We kissed and touched and generally explored each other. Nothing more intimate than 'third base' but we had waited too long to really get into anything sexual before he had to go home to his wife and family. I thought it was going very well. We were taking it slow (almost too slow for me!) and he was very a very sweet and gentle lover with a lot of smoldering passion that was VERY exciting and stimulating.
Then for several weeks there was always something that came up to prevent him (WS) from coming to see me until last Saturday, 8/29/09, only four days after my blissful encounter with BT. "What!" you say..."you would have sex with another man four days after BT? the man you supposedly love?" Yes. BT and I are not exclusive. He does not include me in his day-to-day life in the DR. So why not?
THE ENCOUNTER
Saturday, 8/29: WS is due to arrive around 2PM. I have been up all night and had just fallen asleep at 7AM.I text him to his phone and ask if he could postpone for an hour for me to get a little more sleep? He text me back "Would you like breakfast in bed?" I text "That would be lovely. The doors unlocked." (NOTE: I sleep naked. It saves time when I have hot flashes at night. I can just throw off the covers, cool down, then pull the covers back on and go back to sleep. My hot flashes last about 4-5 mins. but will wake me from a sound sleep. You learn to live with it.)
So WS arrives around 1PM with breakfast from a local diner (he was going to cook for me but decided that this would be better). Then he proceeded to feed me breakfast! I have never been pampered like this. The luxury of not having to cook breakfast or even feed myself. With affectionate kisses in between. (NOTE: I was nude with only bed covers in between me and him.) After I finished the eggs & cheese, with some whole wheat toast & several bites of ham (I don't usually eat bread or breakfast meats), I sipped my coffee and we talked casually.
I then asked him if he would massage my neck and shoulders, as I had suffered from a stiff neck for two days now. He was more than eager and has very good hands. This led to revealing more of my naked body as I lay on my stomach and he massaged away my tension. His hands on my bare skin, the soothing slickness of the lotion, and our heightened arousal...all led to us having our first sexual encounter. He was very sensual, generous, and showed great control of his orgasm. But once I turned my back to him, with his body spooned up against mine and we did it doggie style, he lost all control (can you blame him?).
He said he was so sorry that I hadn't cum. I said, "No worries. You can watch and help me orgasm." and he said he'd like that very much. So I brought out my new sex toy, the Relentless Rabbit, and we both enjoyed my orgasm. He said that he would have to work on giving me an orgasm and that I had to not limit myself with thoughts that "I can't have an orgasm except 'this way or that'...." I told him that I am always open to accepting stimulation as it happens during sex. (What I would like is to cum once for every time my partner cums. That would great!) We lay in bed most of the afternoon and into the evening. We talked about his wife being distant sexually to him, her clingy need to revolve around him, the loss of their 21 yo son a year ago in an auto accident and the losses I have suffered (husband, brother, mother & father). We both feel that you have to be thankful for each day and enjoy the joy that enters your life. We are sharing some joy, pleasure, human connection, happiness,...without any burden or expectations. Then he took a shower and left, kissing me goodbye before he left.
CONCLUSION
No matter your opinion of cheating, we all need human contact. We need to be desired, to have our thoughts and ideas listened to, to be encouraged that we matter...that our existence is important. Being confident in who you are, having self esteem, and projecting your dreams and desires into your reality...will bring you that which you desire. You can only hope that you give joy into the universe and try your hardest not to hurt anyone in the process. I am not here to prove or justify what is right or wrong...I give love unconditionally out into the universe and have received joy and comfort in return, without really expecting it. A regular sex life is a wonderful thing!
Put aside your opinion of infidelity for this one. I am having an affair with a married man. This is not the first time that I've been single and had a married lover. Discretion is the key here. I was married for 20 years to a man I loved and felt was my best friend. We had an understanding that if either of us were to cheat on the other, it better NOT be discovered! Neither of us were jealous having the confidence that we were strong in our relationship and had no need to go looking outside it (or at least would never let the other know we had). It takes much planning and primary consideration for your spouse, if you are going to have an affair. You cannot risk STDs, evidence that can be discovered, nor guilt about your actions. You must BE THERE for your spouse, if there is ANY need at all. If you violate any of these, you WILL be found out and someone will be hurt. But what if your spouse never finds out and you have your affair? Who is hurt by this?
STORY
We met online on a community oriented website. We emailed back and forth and IM'd once before actually meeting. It was understood that he was to come to my house and complete some repairs (for no compensation) and we would get an idea whether or not it would move to a more affectionate arrangement. He came over the first time and we talked about repairs needed, about each other's lives and where we were at the moment. I cooked him dinner. and we talked some more about our beliefs and ideas. We found much in common. And we kissed at the end of the evening before parting, and confirmed that we both were attracted to each other. He left with us both wanting more.
The next week he came and did several repairs around the house, which was glorious since I couldn't do them. Then we sat on the couch and necked for a while. I massaged his back as he had worked very hard and was sore. We kissed and touched and generally explored each other. Nothing more intimate than 'third base' but we had waited too long to really get into anything sexual before he had to go home to his wife and family. I thought it was going very well. We were taking it slow (almost too slow for me!) and he was very a very sweet and gentle lover with a lot of smoldering passion that was VERY exciting and stimulating.
Then for several weeks there was always something that came up to prevent him (WS) from coming to see me until last Saturday, 8/29/09, only four days after my blissful encounter with BT. "What!" you say..."you would have sex with another man four days after BT? the man you supposedly love?" Yes. BT and I are not exclusive. He does not include me in his day-to-day life in the DR. So why not?
THE ENCOUNTER
Saturday, 8/29: WS is due to arrive around 2PM. I have been up all night and had just fallen asleep at 7AM.I text him to his phone and ask if he could postpone for an hour for me to get a little more sleep? He text me back "Would you like breakfast in bed?" I text "That would be lovely. The doors unlocked." (NOTE: I sleep naked. It saves time when I have hot flashes at night. I can just throw off the covers, cool down, then pull the covers back on and go back to sleep. My hot flashes last about 4-5 mins. but will wake me from a sound sleep. You learn to live with it.)
So WS arrives around 1PM with breakfast from a local diner (he was going to cook for me but decided that this would be better). Then he proceeded to feed me breakfast! I have never been pampered like this. The luxury of not having to cook breakfast or even feed myself. With affectionate kisses in between. (NOTE: I was nude with only bed covers in between me and him.) After I finished the eggs & cheese, with some whole wheat toast & several bites of ham (I don't usually eat bread or breakfast meats), I sipped my coffee and we talked casually.
I then asked him if he would massage my neck and shoulders, as I had suffered from a stiff neck for two days now. He was more than eager and has very good hands. This led to revealing more of my naked body as I lay on my stomach and he massaged away my tension. His hands on my bare skin, the soothing slickness of the lotion, and our heightened arousal...all led to us having our first sexual encounter. He was very sensual, generous, and showed great control of his orgasm. But once I turned my back to him, with his body spooned up against mine and we did it doggie style, he lost all control (can you blame him?).
He said he was so sorry that I hadn't cum. I said, "No worries. You can watch and help me orgasm." and he said he'd like that very much. So I brought out my new sex toy, the Relentless Rabbit, and we both enjoyed my orgasm. He said that he would have to work on giving me an orgasm and that I had to not limit myself with thoughts that "I can't have an orgasm except 'this way or that'...." I told him that I am always open to accepting stimulation as it happens during sex. (What I would like is to cum once for every time my partner cums. That would great!) We lay in bed most of the afternoon and into the evening. We talked about his wife being distant sexually to him, her clingy need to revolve around him, the loss of their 21 yo son a year ago in an auto accident and the losses I have suffered (husband, brother, mother & father). We both feel that you have to be thankful for each day and enjoy the joy that enters your life. We are sharing some joy, pleasure, human connection, happiness,...without any burden or expectations. Then he took a shower and left, kissing me goodbye before he left.
CONCLUSION
No matter your opinion of cheating, we all need human contact. We need to be desired, to have our thoughts and ideas listened to, to be encouraged that we matter...that our existence is important. Being confident in who you are, having self esteem, and projecting your dreams and desires into your reality...will bring you that which you desire. You can only hope that you give joy into the universe and try your hardest not to hurt anyone in the process. I am not here to prove or justify what is right or wrong...I give love unconditionally out into the universe and have received joy and comfort in return, without really expecting it. A regular sex life is a wonderful thing!
Friday, August 28, 2009
REVELLING IN THE AFTERGLOW
I am still floating in the afterglow of a mutually satisfying sexual encounter. BT arrived at my door on Monday at 5PM. We hadn't seen each other since May 12th, when we spent 90 minutes together (a much shorter time than originally planned). Before that we had not been together for two years. So you can understand why I am still glowing after our 17 hours we spent together this week!
We kissed and said hello and after a short tour of my new home, we went back to my bedroom and got naked. BT and I have a powerful sexual attraction for each other and for the next three hours we had sex three times, with short naps in between for him. The sex is so good and intense. The naps were understandable since he HAD just put his three children (all in college) on a plane to Boston after spending the week in Orlando with them and drove 2 hours to get to me. We cuddled and he told me about a shake up at work, about his refusal to sign a new contract, and plans to leave and start his own company. All this to happen in the next week or so. I realized that if this relationship is to move forward, I will have to visit the Santo Domingo (DR) and see for myself why he loves it there so much. He has no intension of moving back to the states to live (at least at this point in his life).
We ordered pizza and watched THE WATCHMEN DVD which he had with him and I had not seen as yet. It was an interesting "comic book" movie done in the dark, violent tradition of SIN CITY and set in the 1980s (as much as I could tell). It was a very long movie but enjoyable. This one had some of everything in it; love story, chop-socky 'matrix' fight scenes, good pyrotechnics, flawed heroes galore, and a little humor here and there. BT fell asleep while we held hands watching the movie. At midnight we went to bed, naked and spooning...mmm, such a lovely way to sleep, that is if I did sleep, which I didn't much. Sex is easy, sleeping together isn't. BT does not snore very loudly, thankfully, but I'm just not use to sleeping with anyone anymore. But even in sleeplessness, I love to hear him breathe and listen to the low rumble of his snoring. It's comforting, knowing that no bears will attack (LOL).
I had set the alarm for 6AM to get some "morning wood" action and though his flesh was willing with a little hand work from me, he would not wake up enough to have sex. I accepted defeat for the moment and rolled over with my back to him...as he rolled over to spoon and envelop me with him strong arms. I dozed for a while until I felt his "flesh" becoming aroused all by itself (which is one of the BEST ways to be awakened in my book). We had sex for the fourth time and after his finish, I said, "OK, my turn. Do you want to watch me cum?" He said an enthusiastic YES! and I got out my new toy (a finger vibrator). He had orgasmed four times and not once for me, as I need direct stimulation. He spooned up behind me, touching me, kissing/biting my neck/ears...after about 20 minutes, I asked him to give me his oral attention, at which he is exceedingly good. Then after 20 more minutes, I became too overstimulated, feeling my blood pressure rise and hyperventilating, so I asked him to stop so I could rest. It is the best you can feel without actually having an orgasm. As soon as I had recovered a normal heart rate and breathing, I brought out my other new toy...the Relentless Rabbit. An improvement over the original and it did the trick within 15 minutes...with BT giving much attention to my body. He was quite happy to see me orgasm (as was I!). He then asked for oral attention from me as he knows I am glad to give him a happy ending. I enjoy it almost as much as he does. We cuddled some more and then took a shower together (another great level of intimacy for us). Then all too soon, it was time for him to go.
17 hours of bliss. As he walked towards his rental in the driveway, I told him "I love you"...he said "Love you too." That was the first time we'd said it since he arrived. Words do not speak as loudly as actions, nor the way someone makes you feel. I can live with that for now.
We kissed and said hello and after a short tour of my new home, we went back to my bedroom and got naked. BT and I have a powerful sexual attraction for each other and for the next three hours we had sex three times, with short naps in between for him. The sex is so good and intense. The naps were understandable since he HAD just put his three children (all in college) on a plane to Boston after spending the week in Orlando with them and drove 2 hours to get to me. We cuddled and he told me about a shake up at work, about his refusal to sign a new contract, and plans to leave and start his own company. All this to happen in the next week or so. I realized that if this relationship is to move forward, I will have to visit the Santo Domingo (DR) and see for myself why he loves it there so much. He has no intension of moving back to the states to live (at least at this point in his life).
We ordered pizza and watched THE WATCHMEN DVD which he had with him and I had not seen as yet. It was an interesting "comic book" movie done in the dark, violent tradition of SIN CITY and set in the 1980s (as much as I could tell). It was a very long movie but enjoyable. This one had some of everything in it; love story, chop-socky 'matrix' fight scenes, good pyrotechnics, flawed heroes galore, and a little humor here and there. BT fell asleep while we held hands watching the movie. At midnight we went to bed, naked and spooning...mmm, such a lovely way to sleep, that is if I did sleep, which I didn't much. Sex is easy, sleeping together isn't. BT does not snore very loudly, thankfully, but I'm just not use to sleeping with anyone anymore. But even in sleeplessness, I love to hear him breathe and listen to the low rumble of his snoring. It's comforting, knowing that no bears will attack (LOL).
I had set the alarm for 6AM to get some "morning wood" action and though his flesh was willing with a little hand work from me, he would not wake up enough to have sex. I accepted defeat for the moment and rolled over with my back to him...as he rolled over to spoon and envelop me with him strong arms. I dozed for a while until I felt his "flesh" becoming aroused all by itself (which is one of the BEST ways to be awakened in my book). We had sex for the fourth time and after his finish, I said, "OK, my turn. Do you want to watch me cum?" He said an enthusiastic YES! and I got out my new toy (a finger vibrator). He had orgasmed four times and not once for me, as I need direct stimulation. He spooned up behind me, touching me, kissing/biting my neck/ears...after about 20 minutes, I asked him to give me his oral attention, at which he is exceedingly good. Then after 20 more minutes, I became too overstimulated, feeling my blood pressure rise and hyperventilating, so I asked him to stop so I could rest. It is the best you can feel without actually having an orgasm. As soon as I had recovered a normal heart rate and breathing, I brought out my other new toy...the Relentless Rabbit. An improvement over the original and it did the trick within 15 minutes...with BT giving much attention to my body. He was quite happy to see me orgasm (as was I!). He then asked for oral attention from me as he knows I am glad to give him a happy ending. I enjoy it almost as much as he does. We cuddled some more and then took a shower together (another great level of intimacy for us). Then all too soon, it was time for him to go.
17 hours of bliss. As he walked towards his rental in the driveway, I told him "I love you"...he said "Love you too." That was the first time we'd said it since he arrived. Words do not speak as loudly as actions, nor the way someone makes you feel. I can live with that for now.
Friday, August 14, 2009
10 DAYS TO BLISS
Now that I finally know that BT is coming on the 24th, I almost can't stand the wait. 10 days and counting!
He and I met online (8/20/05) through AmericanSingles.com when I was a paying member after he sent me the first contact email. This was just before Hurricane Katrina brushed Florida and went on to demolish New Orleans. He had been divorced a couple years and was living in Santo Domingo in the Dominican Republic. Originally from the Boston area, he was GM of a plant in Santo Domingo. He would fly every two weeks to Boston to visit with his three children and would fly through Miami International Airport.
The first time I met him, was during one of his layovers at MIA. We had been emailing and IM'g for about ten days before he had a 90 minute stop at MIA and wanted to meet me. Through a series of mis-communications (something that seems to plague us throughout our relationship), I was in the wrong area of the airport and my cellphone was useless to call him. I finally found him and was so upset at all the time that was wasted that I cried. He was so gentle and caring...he took me aside to a spot that was more private, and he held me, hugged me, and then we kissed (monumental, fireworks, earthshaking...WOW kisses!). We did this for about 15 minutes before they called for his flight to Boston. I walked him to his gate and watched him until he disappeared from view. That was the first of many short encounters, with long separations and some emails and IMs in between.
April 2007, we spent 48 hours in a hotel room across from Miami Airport. The longest time we had had together in two years of brief encounters and long silences. BT had been assigned additional plants to supervise, one in Honduras. I was very worried about his safety. I decided to tell him that I loved him and let him off the hook about telling me back. I just wanted him to know that I loved him. I emailed him while he was in flight that I was afraid that I had scared him by telling him. He emailed me that telling me hadn't scared him, it had only made him want to be back with me even more than before. Then I didn't hear a word from him for three months! No email replies, no IM replies. I was so worried that something had happened and no one there knew to notify me about it. I finally emailed his work email and got a response. One that ripped my guts out. He had found someone in SD and they had been seeing each other for two months! I cried for three days. I was devastated. I had finally found that I could love someone after losing George, only to lose that love to someone more convenient...a local. It took me a long time to recover.
August 2008, I received an email from BT after more than a year of silence. He was re-establishing contact with me at one of the lowest times in my life. I wasn't able to meet with him as he flew through MIA (I had no transportation at the time and was living in a spare room at my sister's). His company had cut back on travel expenses and he only flew to Boston every six weeks or so, if then. He was traveling much more for business than to visit his kids. In one of his emails he said it was nice to know he had such a good friend "with benefits" in Florida. We IM'd and emailed, signing with 'Love ya.' Then we met in May 2009 for a short encounter during a layover at Orlando Airport. I still love him and will take what ever pleasure I can get from his company. Life is short...life is good.
He and I met online (8/20/05) through AmericanSingles.com when I was a paying member after he sent me the first contact email. This was just before Hurricane Katrina brushed Florida and went on to demolish New Orleans. He had been divorced a couple years and was living in Santo Domingo in the Dominican Republic. Originally from the Boston area, he was GM of a plant in Santo Domingo. He would fly every two weeks to Boston to visit with his three children and would fly through Miami International Airport.
The first time I met him, was during one of his layovers at MIA. We had been emailing and IM'g for about ten days before he had a 90 minute stop at MIA and wanted to meet me. Through a series of mis-communications (something that seems to plague us throughout our relationship), I was in the wrong area of the airport and my cellphone was useless to call him. I finally found him and was so upset at all the time that was wasted that I cried. He was so gentle and caring...he took me aside to a spot that was more private, and he held me, hugged me, and then we kissed (monumental, fireworks, earthshaking...WOW kisses!). We did this for about 15 minutes before they called for his flight to Boston. I walked him to his gate and watched him until he disappeared from view. That was the first of many short encounters, with long separations and some emails and IMs in between.
April 2007, we spent 48 hours in a hotel room across from Miami Airport. The longest time we had had together in two years of brief encounters and long silences. BT had been assigned additional plants to supervise, one in Honduras. I was very worried about his safety. I decided to tell him that I loved him and let him off the hook about telling me back. I just wanted him to know that I loved him. I emailed him while he was in flight that I was afraid that I had scared him by telling him. He emailed me that telling me hadn't scared him, it had only made him want to be back with me even more than before. Then I didn't hear a word from him for three months! No email replies, no IM replies. I was so worried that something had happened and no one there knew to notify me about it. I finally emailed his work email and got a response. One that ripped my guts out. He had found someone in SD and they had been seeing each other for two months! I cried for three days. I was devastated. I had finally found that I could love someone after losing George, only to lose that love to someone more convenient...a local. It took me a long time to recover.
August 2008, I received an email from BT after more than a year of silence. He was re-establishing contact with me at one of the lowest times in my life. I wasn't able to meet with him as he flew through MIA (I had no transportation at the time and was living in a spare room at my sister's). His company had cut back on travel expenses and he only flew to Boston every six weeks or so, if then. He was traveling much more for business than to visit his kids. In one of his emails he said it was nice to know he had such a good friend "with benefits" in Florida. We IM'd and emailed, signing with 'Love ya.' Then we met in May 2009 for a short encounter during a layover at Orlando Airport. I still love him and will take what ever pleasure I can get from his company. Life is short...life is good.
Saturday, August 08, 2009
WEIGHT LOSS
I started taking REZMelt a month ago (7/3). It's dissolve-on-your-tongue Resveritrol tablets. I got them for a free trial (which was to be two weeks, but in an accounting accident, I got two orders and just paid the S&H). Very tasty and easy to remember to let two of them dissolve on my tongue in the morning when I got up. So...I finished them on Tuesday. I lost 7 lbs in the month I took them, without doing anything different.
On July 28th, I finally received my free trial of Sensa. It is a two month supply that you use every day for a 30 day free trial (only pay S&H), but if you want to continue past the 30 days, you pay $90 for the two month supply and then you let them know when you want the next shipment to keep you on track. I've lost 8 lbs in 11 days! Sensa is a combination of "tastants" (their word for the seasonings) that you sprinkle on your food...ALL the food you eat (except soups or smoothies/drinks). There's one sprinkle for salty and one for sweet. You use the month's shakers (there's two so you can take one with you and leave one at home) and then you discard it when you start using the next month's supply. The "tastants" change each month so you don't get use to them.
It works through your sense of smell and taste, telling your body that you are full. (Sensa...senses...Duh! hello!) You start to eat less without any effort. I haven't really noticed that I'm eating less but the I have lost a total of 15 lbs since July 6th. I don't care how it works, and as long as there's no bad stuff in it...I'm using it! They are even in the process of removing a slight dye they had in the sprinkles so you could see it on the food, just to accommodate those with allergies to Yellow food dye. There's a community set up with forums for support.
I figured I'd try it in combination with other things that are suppose to stimulate weight loss. Food journal, Resveritrol, increased activity, and the Sensa. It's working, and that's what matters.
On July 28th, I finally received my free trial of Sensa. It is a two month supply that you use every day for a 30 day free trial (only pay S&H), but if you want to continue past the 30 days, you pay $90 for the two month supply and then you let them know when you want the next shipment to keep you on track. I've lost 8 lbs in 11 days! Sensa is a combination of "tastants" (their word for the seasonings) that you sprinkle on your food...ALL the food you eat (except soups or smoothies/drinks). There's one sprinkle for salty and one for sweet. You use the month's shakers (there's two so you can take one with you and leave one at home) and then you discard it when you start using the next month's supply. The "tastants" change each month so you don't get use to them.
It works through your sense of smell and taste, telling your body that you are full. (Sensa...senses...Duh! hello!) You start to eat less without any effort. I haven't really noticed that I'm eating less but the I have lost a total of 15 lbs since July 6th. I don't care how it works, and as long as there's no bad stuff in it...I'm using it! They are even in the process of removing a slight dye they had in the sprinkles so you could see it on the food, just to accommodate those with allergies to Yellow food dye. There's a community set up with forums for support.
I figured I'd try it in combination with other things that are suppose to stimulate weight loss. Food journal, Resveritrol, increased activity, and the Sensa. It's working, and that's what matters.
LATEX ALLERGY - CONDOMS
Some people know that they are allergic to latex. They break out on their skin wherever a bandage/bandaid touches. Or they discovered the hard way by trial and error, that their allergy extends to latex condoms and more!
I knew I was allergic to latex but never made the connection. I was married for 20 years and didn't need to use condoms. Before that, I was having sex in the late 70s, early 80s and there wasn't any great need to protect against STDs, just pregnancy. The few times I did use a condom during sex, it felt rough inside me. I didn't think anything of it, just thought that was what it was suppose to feel like (a stick poking me!). I rarely had partners that only penetrated once to completion, but had repeat sessions and used many condoms. If it was more than 3 times, I would be sore for days. Didn't want any more sex until it subsided. I NEVER made the connection!
It was not until I was back out into the dating scene after 20 years and scared to death of the mutant STDs now out there...so I insisted on condoms! When I finally HAD sex (more on that later), I insisted he use a condom for me to perform oral. Well, low and behold, I next day I ended up with a sore throat, mouth, tongue, and the edges of my mouth. DING! DING! the light went on! We only had one session so I was only slightly sore down there. I immediately started researching online if there were any non-latex condoms on the market. And the answer is yes.
You have two choices (actually three, but one is not a choice for me). You can use lambskin, which will protect you from pregnancy but not STDs! There is ONLY one size made in polypropelene (vinyl/rubber - non-latex). There are NO MAGNUMS!! NO larger than average non-latex condoms out there! There are condoms FOR WOMEN that are non-latex (not my choice!). Even sex toys were limited to ONE that was non-latex!
Things are improving. There are now two manufacturers making non-latex condoms, but no large sizes yet. There are more non-latex sex toys out there than three years ago. (Imagine - allergic to your vibrator/dildo?!)
Let's hope that the market catches up with the demand soon. For all us girls who know that size matters and prefer more than above average. (wink, wink)
I knew I was allergic to latex but never made the connection. I was married for 20 years and didn't need to use condoms. Before that, I was having sex in the late 70s, early 80s and there wasn't any great need to protect against STDs, just pregnancy. The few times I did use a condom during sex, it felt rough inside me. I didn't think anything of it, just thought that was what it was suppose to feel like (a stick poking me!). I rarely had partners that only penetrated once to completion, but had repeat sessions and used many condoms. If it was more than 3 times, I would be sore for days. Didn't want any more sex until it subsided. I NEVER made the connection!
It was not until I was back out into the dating scene after 20 years and scared to death of the mutant STDs now out there...so I insisted on condoms! When I finally HAD sex (more on that later), I insisted he use a condom for me to perform oral. Well, low and behold, I next day I ended up with a sore throat, mouth, tongue, and the edges of my mouth. DING! DING! the light went on! We only had one session so I was only slightly sore down there. I immediately started researching online if there were any non-latex condoms on the market. And the answer is yes.
You have two choices (actually three, but one is not a choice for me). You can use lambskin, which will protect you from pregnancy but not STDs! There is ONLY one size made in polypropelene (vinyl/rubber - non-latex). There are NO MAGNUMS!! NO larger than average non-latex condoms out there! There are condoms FOR WOMEN that are non-latex (not my choice!). Even sex toys were limited to ONE that was non-latex!
Things are improving. There are now two manufacturers making non-latex condoms, but no large sizes yet. There are more non-latex sex toys out there than three years ago. (Imagine - allergic to your vibrator/dildo?!)
Let's hope that the market catches up with the demand soon. For all us girls who know that size matters and prefer more than above average. (wink, wink)
Saturday, July 25, 2009
LAWNMOWER BACK
Today I was to have a visit from my new potential lover who is a married man. I postponed it until next week. I did not want him to see me like this, especially at the beginning of a relationship.
Last Saturday I bought a lawnmower and Monday I mowed the entire lawn. The first time I have had the need to mow in 20 years! I used muscles that were to say the least, out of shape. I didn't feel it until Wednesday, when it became difficult to take a deep breath without stabbing pains shooting through the right side of my upper back, ribs, and shoulder. So I realized I had overworked some muscles and pulled my spine out of alignment between my shoulder blades. Since my chiropractor is 140 miles away and my unemployment check isn't deposited until next Friday, I have to suffer and make do until then. My hot flashes are back again too, to add insult to injury (literally!). I get one every couple of hours and during the day it's not a problem. At night, they wake me up, for a five minute internal sauna and then I have to try to get back to sleep. It can make for fitful sleeping and uncontrollable, unpredictable crying jags for me the next day. Why would I want to expose anyone to that?!
So back to Mr. Married Man. I met him through an online community and we got to talking and flirting as friends. He offered his home improvement skills at my disposal after I eluded to being as interested in him as he was in me, and not being bothered by his being married. I have had an affair with a married man before while I was single and it worked out fine. We are still friends to this day and his wife (nor anyone else) ever knew, but us. I am discreet and I know this will not be for the long term and as I have stated before, I get what pleasure and joy I am offered in this life (as long as it doesn't harm anyone else). I'm taking this slow and we haven't done anything but a little kissing; after he fixed my leaky shower and installed my ceiling fan and I fixed him dinner which we enjoyed together. He's a passionate younger (Latin) man and very respectful. I like him. He wants more sex than his wife desires. He takes care of business at home, sees to her needs, and his children's needs. If I can get mutually satisfying sex once a week and my honey-do list done, I think that is a win-win situation for both of us for as long as it lasts.
I haven't heard a word from BT in a week. I have been writing to him every day letting him know how much I love him and miss him. I get silence. I know he's busy, but it takes so little from him to brighten my day. An email or IM that just says "love you" is enough for me to float the rest of the day. I know, a bit juvenile for a widow grandmother of 52 but it FEELS SO GOOD to be loved by someone. I can hardly wait until August and his visit.
That's all for now. If you have any questions or comments, feel free. I will respond as soon as humanly possible. Go forth and be happy!!
Last Saturday I bought a lawnmower and Monday I mowed the entire lawn. The first time I have had the need to mow in 20 years! I used muscles that were to say the least, out of shape. I didn't feel it until Wednesday, when it became difficult to take a deep breath without stabbing pains shooting through the right side of my upper back, ribs, and shoulder. So I realized I had overworked some muscles and pulled my spine out of alignment between my shoulder blades. Since my chiropractor is 140 miles away and my unemployment check isn't deposited until next Friday, I have to suffer and make do until then. My hot flashes are back again too, to add insult to injury (literally!). I get one every couple of hours and during the day it's not a problem. At night, they wake me up, for a five minute internal sauna and then I have to try to get back to sleep. It can make for fitful sleeping and uncontrollable, unpredictable crying jags for me the next day. Why would I want to expose anyone to that?!
So back to Mr. Married Man. I met him through an online community and we got to talking and flirting as friends. He offered his home improvement skills at my disposal after I eluded to being as interested in him as he was in me, and not being bothered by his being married. I have had an affair with a married man before while I was single and it worked out fine. We are still friends to this day and his wife (nor anyone else) ever knew, but us. I am discreet and I know this will not be for the long term and as I have stated before, I get what pleasure and joy I am offered in this life (as long as it doesn't harm anyone else). I'm taking this slow and we haven't done anything but a little kissing; after he fixed my leaky shower and installed my ceiling fan and I fixed him dinner which we enjoyed together. He's a passionate younger (Latin) man and very respectful. I like him. He wants more sex than his wife desires. He takes care of business at home, sees to her needs, and his children's needs. If I can get mutually satisfying sex once a week and my honey-do list done, I think that is a win-win situation for both of us for as long as it lasts.
I haven't heard a word from BT in a week. I have been writing to him every day letting him know how much I love him and miss him. I get silence. I know he's busy, but it takes so little from him to brighten my day. An email or IM that just says "love you" is enough for me to float the rest of the day. I know, a bit juvenile for a widow grandmother of 52 but it FEELS SO GOOD to be loved by someone. I can hardly wait until August and his visit.
That's all for now. If you have any questions or comments, feel free. I will respond as soon as humanly possible. Go forth and be happy!!
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
DIETS - TRUTHS AND LIES
Some good advice - FIGHTING FAT FOR AMERICA
I hate calling it a "diet" as I'm just adjusting my eating habits and trying to lose the weight I've gained (over the past four months AND over the past 18 or so years!). I do eat healthy but I know that my body has changed since I started going through menopause.
TRUTH: Hormones are an important factor in weight gain.
Whether you are young or old, male or female, rich or poor, live in the north, south, east or west, your weight is effected by your hormones, and depends on if they are in balance or out of balance. (Speaking from personal experience.)
Puberty can take a 12 year old pudgy girl of 4'11" and in one summer, remake her body into a knock-out, drop-dead 13 year old of 5'2" without much attention being paid by her. Birth control pills can put on 20-30 pounds without any change in eating or exercise (since they convince your body that you ARE pregnant!).
Pregnancy is when your hormones are on overdrive. The only hope you have is to be more active than ever for many reasons: 1) It will help keep the weight gain down to YOUR minimum. Don't go by others' pregnancies or even your past ones, 2) You will need to build up your strength for the coming baby not try to catch up after, 3) The increased activity will help in getting you involved outside of yourself, improve your attitude, curb mood swings, and help reduce your cravings. This is general advice and for those who are healthy enough to be more active while pregnant.
Menopause changes everything! What worked before, doesn't work now (more about this later on). Tastes change, the effects on your body of food and exercise changes, personality changes, and attitudes change. An extra 10 or 20 pounds above what the "average" is IS NOT a bad thing, it's normal. But weight gain is too easy at this stage and weight loss is next to impossible for some.
NOTE; Men go through these stages too. All of them! Take before and after pregnancy pictures of the "dad" and you'll see what I mean. (This applies to the men who stick around and are involved with their wives/gf/baby's moma during the pregnancy.) Weight gain is effected by hormones.
TRUTH: Genetics can make it impossible for you to ever be a size 0!
You have to be honest with yourself. Look at your relatives and ancestors. Your mother and father and their parents are good indicators of what you will look like when you are older. Don't try to look like Twiggy (size 0) if your mom looks like Mae West (size 16) and for those too young to know who they are, go by the sizes, okay. Be happy with what you were given and work to be strong and healthy (even at size 18!). And forget looking like the supermodels, they are all over 5'9", which is 5 inches over the average height for women!
LIE: If you follow this diet, you'll lose 15 pounds in 30 days! (Or one time truth)
I have found that fad diets, diet pills, short-term meal plans, diet programs (Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, NutriSystem, etc...) ONLY WORK ONCE! Whatever they change in your regular eating habits and whatever they DO to your fat cells (and god knows what else in your body), IT ONLY WORKS THAT ONE TIME. If in a few years (or months) you put the weight back on (or more), it won't work a second time. Your only hope is to find a LIFE DIET that you can follow every day for the rest of your life (barring any hormonal disruptions...see above). If you can find a LIFE DIET that works for you, then you can add and subtract things as you and your body change. Organic and raw foods are the key. Vegetable and fruits the main ingredients. Meats, fish, poultry, and other proteins should also be organic (preservative-free, hormone-free, antibiotic-free...these things are killing us as a nation). Starving yourself, eating foods you don't normally eat, or portions that are too small to satisfy your body's daily needs are all methods that contribute to failure in dieting and weight loss. Proportions made smaller gradually, eliminating one thing (bad) at a time over time, LEAVING SOME ON YOUR PLATE (one of the hardest things to do), eating when you are hungry, training your body to be hungry at certain times, and eating slower so you know you are full before you stop eating, will help with your LIFE DIET.
LIE: This diet will make you lose weight without even exercising!
Exercise is necessary to maintain or lose weight. As you get older (especially over 40!!), you have to exercise MORE to maintain or lose weight. When you are under 40, your metabolism is operating at a higher efficiency. After 40, it declines, so you have to do more to just stay at the weight you are at, if you are still eating the same way. The more sedentary you become (couch potato, lay like broccoli...), the more weight you will gain and in all the wrong places. You must move! MOVE! Move 5 hours every day. That is 20 minutes out of every hour (that most people are awake). If you walk in the grocery store or shopping for an hour, then you can sit at your computer for 3 hours or watch a movie and tv for 3 hours. Recommendations are that you do 30 minutes a day of cardiovascular exercise...raising your heart rate with a brisk walk, bike ride, swimming laps, low impact aerobics, yard work...find what works for you. Dancing is great (dance like nobody is watching for an hour every other day!). MOVE! and keep moving and be thankful that you CAN move.
LIE: Everybody should see the same results in 6 weeks. (Half-truth told about exercise CD/DVDs, equipment, and devices, except those that "do it for you" which are total LIES.)
If you do ANY kind of exercise consistently for six weeks, you will see results!! The results will not be the same for everybody, but there will be a difference in your body from the time you started to the change in six weeks. Everybody will have some strength improvement (as long as there are no underlying medical problems). That alone will improve your attitude and outlook. So MOVE!, start doing some kind of physical movement every day. In a month and a half, you'll see some difference and feel better!
TRUTH: No diet works for everyone. We are all individuals with different needs and wants.
Be careful what you put in your body. Listen to your body and pay attention to what you crave and when, when you are hungry and if you eat when you are NOT hungry. Social situations, emotional upset, habits from upbringing, stress-filled days, economic stress to name a few, can all influence how and what you eat. If you have more weight on your body than you feel is healthy, start paying attention to your body. You are worth it! Try to eat more natural foods, less refined/packaged/convenient/processed/fastfoods...and any change, no matter how small, will result in an improvement you will notice. And the more you try, the better it will be and easier it will become. If you change one thing a week, in two months, that's eight things you've changed. Believe me...YOU WILL SEE IMPROVEMENT. And don't beat yourself up when you splurge, just get back on track the next day. A little reward for effort every once in a while is needed.
I hate calling it a "diet" as I'm just adjusting my eating habits and trying to lose the weight I've gained (over the past four months AND over the past 18 or so years!). I do eat healthy but I know that my body has changed since I started going through menopause.
TRUTH: Hormones are an important factor in weight gain.
Whether you are young or old, male or female, rich or poor, live in the north, south, east or west, your weight is effected by your hormones, and depends on if they are in balance or out of balance. (Speaking from personal experience.)
Puberty can take a 12 year old pudgy girl of 4'11" and in one summer, remake her body into a knock-out, drop-dead 13 year old of 5'2" without much attention being paid by her. Birth control pills can put on 20-30 pounds without any change in eating or exercise (since they convince your body that you ARE pregnant!).
Pregnancy is when your hormones are on overdrive. The only hope you have is to be more active than ever for many reasons: 1) It will help keep the weight gain down to YOUR minimum. Don't go by others' pregnancies or even your past ones, 2) You will need to build up your strength for the coming baby not try to catch up after, 3) The increased activity will help in getting you involved outside of yourself, improve your attitude, curb mood swings, and help reduce your cravings. This is general advice and for those who are healthy enough to be more active while pregnant.
Menopause changes everything! What worked before, doesn't work now (more about this later on). Tastes change, the effects on your body of food and exercise changes, personality changes, and attitudes change. An extra 10 or 20 pounds above what the "average" is IS NOT a bad thing, it's normal. But weight gain is too easy at this stage and weight loss is next to impossible for some.
NOTE; Men go through these stages too. All of them! Take before and after pregnancy pictures of the "dad" and you'll see what I mean. (This applies to the men who stick around and are involved with their wives/gf/baby's moma during the pregnancy.) Weight gain is effected by hormones.
TRUTH: Genetics can make it impossible for you to ever be a size 0!
You have to be honest with yourself. Look at your relatives and ancestors. Your mother and father and their parents are good indicators of what you will look like when you are older. Don't try to look like Twiggy (size 0) if your mom looks like Mae West (size 16) and for those too young to know who they are, go by the sizes, okay. Be happy with what you were given and work to be strong and healthy (even at size 18!). And forget looking like the supermodels, they are all over 5'9", which is 5 inches over the average height for women!
LIE: If you follow this diet, you'll lose 15 pounds in 30 days! (Or one time truth)
I have found that fad diets, diet pills, short-term meal plans, diet programs (Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, NutriSystem, etc...) ONLY WORK ONCE! Whatever they change in your regular eating habits and whatever they DO to your fat cells (and god knows what else in your body), IT ONLY WORKS THAT ONE TIME. If in a few years (or months) you put the weight back on (or more), it won't work a second time. Your only hope is to find a LIFE DIET that you can follow every day for the rest of your life (barring any hormonal disruptions...see above). If you can find a LIFE DIET that works for you, then you can add and subtract things as you and your body change. Organic and raw foods are the key. Vegetable and fruits the main ingredients. Meats, fish, poultry, and other proteins should also be organic (preservative-free, hormone-free, antibiotic-free...these things are killing us as a nation). Starving yourself, eating foods you don't normally eat, or portions that are too small to satisfy your body's daily needs are all methods that contribute to failure in dieting and weight loss. Proportions made smaller gradually, eliminating one thing (bad) at a time over time, LEAVING SOME ON YOUR PLATE (one of the hardest things to do), eating when you are hungry, training your body to be hungry at certain times, and eating slower so you know you are full before you stop eating, will help with your LIFE DIET.
LIE: This diet will make you lose weight without even exercising!
Exercise is necessary to maintain or lose weight. As you get older (especially over 40!!), you have to exercise MORE to maintain or lose weight. When you are under 40, your metabolism is operating at a higher efficiency. After 40, it declines, so you have to do more to just stay at the weight you are at, if you are still eating the same way. The more sedentary you become (couch potato, lay like broccoli...), the more weight you will gain and in all the wrong places. You must move! MOVE! Move 5 hours every day. That is 20 minutes out of every hour (that most people are awake). If you walk in the grocery store or shopping for an hour, then you can sit at your computer for 3 hours or watch a movie and tv for 3 hours. Recommendations are that you do 30 minutes a day of cardiovascular exercise...raising your heart rate with a brisk walk, bike ride, swimming laps, low impact aerobics, yard work...find what works for you. Dancing is great (dance like nobody is watching for an hour every other day!). MOVE! and keep moving and be thankful that you CAN move.
LIE: Everybody should see the same results in 6 weeks. (Half-truth told about exercise CD/DVDs, equipment, and devices, except those that "do it for you" which are total LIES.)
If you do ANY kind of exercise consistently for six weeks, you will see results!! The results will not be the same for everybody, but there will be a difference in your body from the time you started to the change in six weeks. Everybody will have some strength improvement (as long as there are no underlying medical problems). That alone will improve your attitude and outlook. So MOVE!, start doing some kind of physical movement every day. In a month and a half, you'll see some difference and feel better!
TRUTH: No diet works for everyone. We are all individuals with different needs and wants.
Be careful what you put in your body. Listen to your body and pay attention to what you crave and when, when you are hungry and if you eat when you are NOT hungry. Social situations, emotional upset, habits from upbringing, stress-filled days, economic stress to name a few, can all influence how and what you eat. If you have more weight on your body than you feel is healthy, start paying attention to your body. You are worth it! Try to eat more natural foods, less refined/packaged/convenient/processed/fastfoods...and any change, no matter how small, will result in an improvement you will notice. And the more you try, the better it will be and easier it will become. If you change one thing a week, in two months, that's eight things you've changed. Believe me...YOU WILL SEE IMPROVEMENT. And don't beat yourself up when you splurge, just get back on track the next day. A little reward for effort every once in a while is needed.
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Sunday, July 12, 2009
COMMUNICATION
Communication. It is necessary, sometimes vague, misunderstood, subtle, loud, confused...but what would we do without it? I think that I'm a good communicator partly because I'm a good listener. I'm open and honest, but I also try my best to be diplomatic during times that involve hurting someone's feelings. But when it comes to telling someone how much you love them and how much you miss them when they are not there. How much communication is too much?
Women seem to go overboard on communicating their feelings, especially to men. Women are much more emotional and verbal than men, so it stands to reason that this happens. When you get to your 40s or 50s, you should have gone through enough emotional and verbal growth to be able to control your emotions and be able to verbalize without gushing. Well, that's a load of crap when you fall head over heels in love with someone that you feel is perfect for you.
So now I'm emailing or IM'ing BT once a day. I am showing restraint, really I am. I could easily go overboard in the outpouring of affection expression. He makes me giddy. I was IM'ing a new female friend of mine (Yvonne) today and he messaged me. My heart leapt and a giddy grin crept onto my face. It was a short exchange between me and his blackberry as he ended a meal out with friends. Four and a half hours later and I'm still grinning and floating on the high of his communicating with me that he thinks about me. I hadn't heard anything since Monday and I figured he was traveling on business all week. I still sent him emails and pictures to remind him of me, and to let him know that he is on my mind.
Is this any way for a 52 year old widowed grandmother to act? You bet your ass it is! Communication is a great thing.
Women seem to go overboard on communicating their feelings, especially to men. Women are much more emotional and verbal than men, so it stands to reason that this happens. When you get to your 40s or 50s, you should have gone through enough emotional and verbal growth to be able to control your emotions and be able to verbalize without gushing. Well, that's a load of crap when you fall head over heels in love with someone that you feel is perfect for you.
So now I'm emailing or IM'ing BT once a day. I am showing restraint, really I am. I could easily go overboard in the outpouring of affection expression. He makes me giddy. I was IM'ing a new female friend of mine (Yvonne) today and he messaged me. My heart leapt and a giddy grin crept onto my face. It was a short exchange between me and his blackberry as he ended a meal out with friends. Four and a half hours later and I'm still grinning and floating on the high of his communicating with me that he thinks about me. I hadn't heard anything since Monday and I figured he was traveling on business all week. I still sent him emails and pictures to remind him of me, and to let him know that he is on my mind.
Is this any way for a 52 year old widowed grandmother to act? You bet your ass it is! Communication is a great thing.
Friday, July 10, 2009
TODAY IS THE FIRST DAY
And the saying goes...Today is the first day of the rest of my life. Any day can be a turning point in your life.
Today I started a food journal to record everything I eat, every day and when. (It has been proven that those with food diaries lose weight faster than those without.)
I have decided that in order to "move" 5 hours a day that you have to "move" 20 minutes out of every hour of being sedentary. So if you "move" for an hour, you can be still for 3 hours. An hour workout earns you a movie and an hour and a half, or so of computer time. Or you could get up and purposely dance, sweep, rake or whatever, 20 minutes out of every hour. If I work in the garden or at yardwork for 2 hours, I've earned 6 hours of couch-potato-time. Now that I have the concept equated in my mind, I can do this.
Today I completed my application to enter a Master's program with an online university. I still have to apply for financial aid and get approved to pay for it but I started the ball rolling. I was dropped from the graduate programs at FAU in 2004 after failing to complete the degree in a timely manner (which really didn't apply since I was working on two Master's degrees, one being a terminal degree like a PhD). This was the last straw of all the complications that had happened since my husband's death in October 2002...the semester I was to graduate with my first Master's degree. I have taken the first step towards earning at least one.
I have started sending emails or an instant message to BT every day, to let him know that I think about him every day. That he's on my mind. I love him and I want him to know how much. A new friend of mine said out loud what I had thought but not acted on. I was afraid I would scare him away or overwhelm him. Afraid that daily contact would make me look needy or that I might be a psycho-bitch waiting to explode. When Yvonne said I should let him know how I feel, I knew she as right, no matter how it turned out. I have been hurt once by BT and I was just protecting myself against it happening again by not reaching out to him but waiting until he contacted me. He is a busy executive, with a stressful schedule and a multitude of responsibilities as his daily routine. He is also 300 miles away from me, and I am out-of-sight, out-of-mind. It has been pointed out to me recently that men tend to forget what they can't see...being the visual creatures they are. We have a long distance relationship with short visits which are few and far between. But those times we are together are events when time stops, stress stops, and we are in bliss...it feels like home...like it's where I should be at that moment. The sex is the best but we are also comfortable with each other. We are communicating more now then ever before and I am very hopeful.
Each day we are given a new opportunity to find happiness. Today is the first day...
Today I started a food journal to record everything I eat, every day and when. (It has been proven that those with food diaries lose weight faster than those without.)
I have decided that in order to "move" 5 hours a day that you have to "move" 20 minutes out of every hour of being sedentary. So if you "move" for an hour, you can be still for 3 hours. An hour workout earns you a movie and an hour and a half, or so of computer time. Or you could get up and purposely dance, sweep, rake or whatever, 20 minutes out of every hour. If I work in the garden or at yardwork for 2 hours, I've earned 6 hours of couch-potato-time. Now that I have the concept equated in my mind, I can do this.
Today I completed my application to enter a Master's program with an online university. I still have to apply for financial aid and get approved to pay for it but I started the ball rolling. I was dropped from the graduate programs at FAU in 2004 after failing to complete the degree in a timely manner (which really didn't apply since I was working on two Master's degrees, one being a terminal degree like a PhD). This was the last straw of all the complications that had happened since my husband's death in October 2002...the semester I was to graduate with my first Master's degree. I have taken the first step towards earning at least one.
I have started sending emails or an instant message to BT every day, to let him know that I think about him every day. That he's on my mind. I love him and I want him to know how much. A new friend of mine said out loud what I had thought but not acted on. I was afraid I would scare him away or overwhelm him. Afraid that daily contact would make me look needy or that I might be a psycho-bitch waiting to explode. When Yvonne said I should let him know how I feel, I knew she as right, no matter how it turned out. I have been hurt once by BT and I was just protecting myself against it happening again by not reaching out to him but waiting until he contacted me. He is a busy executive, with a stressful schedule and a multitude of responsibilities as his daily routine. He is also 300 miles away from me, and I am out-of-sight, out-of-mind. It has been pointed out to me recently that men tend to forget what they can't see...being the visual creatures they are. We have a long distance relationship with short visits which are few and far between. But those times we are together are events when time stops, stress stops, and we are in bliss...it feels like home...like it's where I should be at that moment. The sex is the best but we are also comfortable with each other. We are communicating more now then ever before and I am very hopeful.
Each day we are given a new opportunity to find happiness. Today is the first day...
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
AFFIRMATIONS
They do work. Perception is reality. I am healthy. I enjoy exercising every day. Every cell in my body is whole and vital. I easily maintain my perfect body weight. Believe it...Be it!
Friday, June 19, 2009
TO ALL YOU ANIMAL LOVERS!
Hi, all you animal lovers! Click to feed rescued animals!
This is pretty simple... Please ask ten friends to each ask a further ten today!
The Animal Rescue Site is having trouble getting enough people to click on it daily so they can meet their quota of getting FREE FOOD donated every day to abused and neglected animals. It takes less than a minute (about 15 seconds) to go to their site and click on the purple box 'Click Here to Give. It's Free!'. This doesn't cost you a thing.
Their corporate sponsors/advertisers use the number of daily visits to donate food to abandoned/neglected animals in exchange for advertising.
CLICK HERE
Here's the web site! Please pass it along to people you know.
This is pretty simple... Please ask ten friends to each ask a further ten today!
The Animal Rescue Site is having trouble getting enough people to click on it daily so they can meet their quota of getting FREE FOOD donated every day to abused and neglected animals. It takes less than a minute (about 15 seconds) to go to their site and click on the purple box 'Click Here to Give. It's Free!'. This doesn't cost you a thing.
Their corporate sponsors/advertisers use the number of daily visits to donate food to abandoned/neglected animals in exchange for advertising.
CLICK HERE
Here's the web site! Please pass it along to people you know.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
DEAD SOLDIER PICTURES
While going through the 600 bulletins on the Bulletin Board (BB) at Tagged.com (an online community) early this morning, I came across a notice to report and ban a member because "he's a sick f**k" and to look at his profile was "not for the faint of heart." Considering myself quite stoic and strong-willed, I clicked on the link in the bulletin to see what was so controversial.
This member has posted a picture of a dead (and mutilated) soldier as his profile picture. He has also posted many more graphic images of mutilation and acts of war. These are ugly and profound. I am conflicted in how I feel about his right to express his opinion in a public forum and the sensitivity of exposing the public to such graphic images without a warning (other than the person who posted the link on the BB). I expressed this conflict in my statement of the day: "Lark the Shark (Mafia Wars) is conflicted over the outrage on the BB. A member has posted pics of the horror of war. Free speech is what our troops are fighting for over there."
I prepared myself for a flood of venom directed towards me, but so far I've only gotten this email conversation, much to my pleasant surprise:
-----------------------
K: I think there is a diff between freedom of speech and disrespect. The pics he has on there are horrible. I understand freedom of speech, but I just really have a problem just plastering pics of a dead soldier.
Mass public opinion will ban him from the sight. Those that rally the support will fight him until he gives up and goes somewhere else to express his opinion (or cause outrage). And it is my opinion that the US government disrespects us in not giving us the truth. With the media's support, we are manipulated and lied to all the time. I saw it and now I choose not to ever look at his profile again. Not to give him validation. Not to engage him. All that does is fuel his need for attention and controversy. He does have the right to express his opinion on a public forum, no matter how much I object. I certainly don't want to see his pictures. I'm a visual artist and anything I SEE is in my brain forever. But there is no denying that while I object to war, I can still support our troops being over there and doing whatever it takes to secure our freedoms here. There are always atrocities in war. No one escapes blame. But our country is based on the freedom to disagree, to have an opinion opposite of the popular, and to demand accountability (whether we get it or not). There should be some kind of a warning, if he invites someone to his site. This should be put in place by the site managers. When you get to his page, it should say that there is graphic material, just as it should say for some of the profiles that have pornographic images in their comments and tags. But someone performing a sexual act is not filtered any more than the picture of the dead soldier. I am in conflict.
Lark
----------------------
K: You make some very good points. I wish I hadn't seen what I did. I keep seeing it over and over in my head. I am purely disgusted by it. but you are right. He has the right but I still clicked report profile. Thank you for sharing your views on this. You helped me see this in a diff light.
------------------------
Thank you for being an intelligent, open-minded person. I am sometimes afraid to take a stand because of all the extremists out there. It's scary to have an opinion that doesn't march with the crowd. We don't want to see the ugly side of life, the cruel, the grotesque...if war is softened and presented as righteous...when will it ever stop? Have you ever seen the pictures from the Nazi concentration camps? I was in 8th grade when I saw a documentary on it. THOSE images are still in my head, just as if I saw them today. Just because I don't want to look at it, doesn't mean it's not there.
Lark
---------------
K: That is very true. We as a society have become very desensitized and it's sad. I don't want to become callous to the horrors that happen. But I also don't want to just turn my cheek at it either. Activisim is something I feel very strongly about, I just have never taken a political stand. It's always been for the animals.
I have thoroughly enjoyed our conversation.
Thank you!
This member has posted a picture of a dead (and mutilated) soldier as his profile picture. He has also posted many more graphic images of mutilation and acts of war. These are ugly and profound. I am conflicted in how I feel about his right to express his opinion in a public forum and the sensitivity of exposing the public to such graphic images without a warning (other than the person who posted the link on the BB). I expressed this conflict in my statement of the day: "Lark the Shark (Mafia Wars) is conflicted over the outrage on the BB. A member has posted pics of the horror of war. Free speech is what our troops are fighting for over there."
I prepared myself for a flood of venom directed towards me, but so far I've only gotten this email conversation, much to my pleasant surprise:
-----------------------
K: I think there is a diff between freedom of speech and disrespect. The pics he has on there are horrible. I understand freedom of speech, but I just really have a problem just plastering pics of a dead soldier.
Mass public opinion will ban him from the sight. Those that rally the support will fight him until he gives up and goes somewhere else to express his opinion (or cause outrage). And it is my opinion that the US government disrespects us in not giving us the truth. With the media's support, we are manipulated and lied to all the time. I saw it and now I choose not to ever look at his profile again. Not to give him validation. Not to engage him. All that does is fuel his need for attention and controversy. He does have the right to express his opinion on a public forum, no matter how much I object. I certainly don't want to see his pictures. I'm a visual artist and anything I SEE is in my brain forever. But there is no denying that while I object to war, I can still support our troops being over there and doing whatever it takes to secure our freedoms here. There are always atrocities in war. No one escapes blame. But our country is based on the freedom to disagree, to have an opinion opposite of the popular, and to demand accountability (whether we get it or not). There should be some kind of a warning, if he invites someone to his site. This should be put in place by the site managers. When you get to his page, it should say that there is graphic material, just as it should say for some of the profiles that have pornographic images in their comments and tags. But someone performing a sexual act is not filtered any more than the picture of the dead soldier. I am in conflict.
Lark
----------------------
K: You make some very good points. I wish I hadn't seen what I did. I keep seeing it over and over in my head. I am purely disgusted by it. but you are right. He has the right but I still clicked report profile. Thank you for sharing your views on this. You helped me see this in a diff light.
------------------------
Thank you for being an intelligent, open-minded person. I am sometimes afraid to take a stand because of all the extremists out there. It's scary to have an opinion that doesn't march with the crowd. We don't want to see the ugly side of life, the cruel, the grotesque...if war is softened and presented as righteous...when will it ever stop? Have you ever seen the pictures from the Nazi concentration camps? I was in 8th grade when I saw a documentary on it. THOSE images are still in my head, just as if I saw them today. Just because I don't want to look at it, doesn't mean it's not there.
Lark
---------------
K: That is very true. We as a society have become very desensitized and it's sad. I don't want to become callous to the horrors that happen. But I also don't want to just turn my cheek at it either. Activisim is something I feel very strongly about, I just have never taken a political stand. It's always been for the animals.
I have thoroughly enjoyed our conversation.
Thank you!
Saturday, June 13, 2009
PAY ATTENTION! OR FREE TRIALS AREN'T FREE
Just when you think things are going along smoothly, you discover that your "free trials" have expired and your account has been charged $150!! Paying attention to the details CAN save you money.
All I wanted was white teeth without spending $500-1000 at the dentist. Two "free trials" later I'm looking at two charges, one for $58 and one for $89 and I don't even need the product again if the claims are valid. These products are the advertised claim from a "regular mom" that discovered that by combining TWO teeth whitening products, one used for two weeks, then the other for two weeks...resulted in visibly whiter teeth without the costly visit to the dentist.
I have very little sales resistance when it comes to something I REALLY want. And I REALLY want whiter teeth. I smile a lot...a lot! And not having medical coverage for the last 18 years has cramped my seeing a dentist regularly (or any other medical professional, besides the firm belief that they are all drug pushers). So I ordered the two products, paying ONLY the S&H fees totaling a mere $8. The two week "free trial" period began when I ordered one and received the other (like how do they know?). Then I went to see my sister for a week!!! Totally forgetting about the time constraints on the "free trial" period!
This is the pseudo-scam behind the whole thing. They EXPECT you to forget about the trial period. And then when you see the outrageous charge on your account, you get all freaked out and call and are told that "you had two weeks to cancel" and it's "all in the terms and agreement that you agreed to when you ordered." They got you! ALWAYS READ EVERYTHING BEFORE YOU ORDER ONLINE!
Another tip: Set a reminder on your calendar (Yahoo has one with your email account, use your PDA, cellphone, or hand write it on your wall calendar!!) several days before the expiration of the "free trial" and then two days before and the day before! With all the reminders, maybe you can cancel and not have to pay FULL PRICE.
All of this is to make myself more appealing, and to eventually have more sex. All the watching what I eat, trying to exercise daily and lose weight...all for more sex, and eternally hoping that it leads to a REAL RELATIONSHIP, that includes regular, great sex! Don't we all!
One more thing you can do: Report your card stolen and get it reissued. That way they can't charge your old card any more "membership charges." This solution is a pain in the ass though since you have to change all your automatic charges and payments that you have set up. But sometimes it's the last resort. Happy shopping!
All I wanted was white teeth without spending $500-1000 at the dentist. Two "free trials" later I'm looking at two charges, one for $58 and one for $89 and I don't even need the product again if the claims are valid. These products are the advertised claim from a "regular mom" that discovered that by combining TWO teeth whitening products, one used for two weeks, then the other for two weeks...resulted in visibly whiter teeth without the costly visit to the dentist.
I have very little sales resistance when it comes to something I REALLY want. And I REALLY want whiter teeth. I smile a lot...a lot! And not having medical coverage for the last 18 years has cramped my seeing a dentist regularly (or any other medical professional, besides the firm belief that they are all drug pushers). So I ordered the two products, paying ONLY the S&H fees totaling a mere $8. The two week "free trial" period began when I ordered one and received the other (like how do they know?). Then I went to see my sister for a week!!! Totally forgetting about the time constraints on the "free trial" period!
This is the pseudo-scam behind the whole thing. They EXPECT you to forget about the trial period. And then when you see the outrageous charge on your account, you get all freaked out and call and are told that "you had two weeks to cancel" and it's "all in the terms and agreement that you agreed to when you ordered." They got you! ALWAYS READ EVERYTHING BEFORE YOU ORDER ONLINE!
Another tip: Set a reminder on your calendar (Yahoo has one with your email account, use your PDA, cellphone, or hand write it on your wall calendar!!) several days before the expiration of the "free trial" and then two days before and the day before! With all the reminders, maybe you can cancel and not have to pay FULL PRICE.
All of this is to make myself more appealing, and to eventually have more sex. All the watching what I eat, trying to exercise daily and lose weight...all for more sex, and eternally hoping that it leads to a REAL RELATIONSHIP, that includes regular, great sex! Don't we all!
One more thing you can do: Report your card stolen and get it reissued. That way they can't charge your old card any more "membership charges." This solution is a pain in the ass though since you have to change all your automatic charges and payments that you have set up. But sometimes it's the last resort. Happy shopping!
NOT TOO BUSY TO WRITE
I could say that I've been busy. It has been 12 days since I posted anything. I went to Ft. Lauderdale (140 miles south) for a day to finish up moving my sister's art room to her new classroom for next year. I got there on Monday at sundown and left on Thursday night 11PM, arriving back home at 2AM. My poor cat was VERY pissed off at me for leaving him for so long. So I've been home for a week now. I've been playing Mafia Wars (RPG online game) on Tagged and having phone sex with a guy who lives in California. I met him through playing the game and we just clicked. WTF is wrong with me?
I'm lonely. I'm depressed. I gotta snap outta this.
My plans are to go to a dance on Sunday hosted by a member of POF (Plenty of Fish...and online dating service) and I've booked a room at the Boca Bridge Hotel again. I love this luxury hotel! It's only costing me $40 (priceline.com) for the night. I'm also meeting a contact at the dance who's been playing phone tag with me for a month. We'll see how this goes. I'm not expecting anything.
I'm lonely. I'm depressed. I gotta snap outta this.
My plans are to go to a dance on Sunday hosted by a member of POF (Plenty of Fish...and online dating service) and I've booked a room at the Boca Bridge Hotel again. I love this luxury hotel! It's only costing me $40 (priceline.com) for the night. I'm also meeting a contact at the dance who's been playing phone tag with me for a month. We'll see how this goes. I'm not expecting anything.
Monday, June 01, 2009
WHEN DOES NUDITY BECOME PORN?
I'm an artist. I love photography and creating paintings from photographs. The nude body in all it's splender is a beautiful thing. Somewhere along the line, our ancestors decided that looking at the nude body was dirty, evil, reprehensible...so they called it pornography and hid it from view. The Supreme Court defines pornography as "Anything having no artistic value and stimulating sexual thoughts" and as Bill Hicks said in one of his comedy routines..."that defines almost every commercial seen on television!" Sex sells! So are commercials pornography? Is a picture of two people engaging in sex pornography? Are photos of "private parts in various stages of stimulation" pornography? Or is it all just natural...the nature of us as human beings?
I notice that many older female artists go through a phase of erotic expression in their favorite medium. I wonder if this is instigated by the change of life as it has been for me. Georgia O'Keefe and her 'flowers' is a prime example. A former female art professor went through a period of painting penises, in all imaginable forms...incorporated into flowers and landscapes...'popping up' in all kinds of images not related to a nude male body. Some said she did it for shock value. I think it was just experimentation with the taboo society puts on full frontal nudity for men (not as much for women).
Later in life when women start the journey through menopause, creativity is heightened and inhibitions seem to melt away. (I'm just speaking for myself and those I know.) I know that the change has brought about more exploration for me into who I am, what I look like (all of me), and what I want (from life, love, sex, career) and what I want to accomplish. I think more about sex now than when I was 15! I can understand (not condone) why a woman in her mid-thirties would seduce a boy of 13, since menopause can start that early and a woman not even know it or control it. I remember being attracted to the son of a contemporary who was 15 and I was early thirties. I could control my urges but there are some who can't.
I have taken many photographs of myself naked. Many different poses and parts. And I have invited opinion from those I know and trust and have received photos in return too. All reviews have been favorable but I take them with a grain of salt (since they're all men and not all artistic). I am painting a self portrait of one of these nude photos and I think it would be considered not pornographic. Artistic in the same sense as Degas's women at their bathing rituals. But some of my more intimate photos are inspiring to me too and they may be considered porn by some in the art world. Not that I really care (lol).
I notice that many older female artists go through a phase of erotic expression in their favorite medium. I wonder if this is instigated by the change of life as it has been for me. Georgia O'Keefe and her 'flowers' is a prime example. A former female art professor went through a period of painting penises, in all imaginable forms...incorporated into flowers and landscapes...'popping up' in all kinds of images not related to a nude male body. Some said she did it for shock value. I think it was just experimentation with the taboo society puts on full frontal nudity for men (not as much for women).
Later in life when women start the journey through menopause, creativity is heightened and inhibitions seem to melt away. (I'm just speaking for myself and those I know.) I know that the change has brought about more exploration for me into who I am, what I look like (all of me), and what I want (from life, love, sex, career) and what I want to accomplish. I think more about sex now than when I was 15! I can understand (not condone) why a woman in her mid-thirties would seduce a boy of 13, since menopause can start that early and a woman not even know it or control it. I remember being attracted to the son of a contemporary who was 15 and I was early thirties. I could control my urges but there are some who can't.
I have taken many photographs of myself naked. Many different poses and parts. And I have invited opinion from those I know and trust and have received photos in return too. All reviews have been favorable but I take them with a grain of salt (since they're all men and not all artistic). I am painting a self portrait of one of these nude photos and I think it would be considered not pornographic. Artistic in the same sense as Degas's women at their bathing rituals. But some of my more intimate photos are inspiring to me too and they may be considered porn by some in the art world. Not that I really care (lol).
Saturday, May 30, 2009
5 TIPS TO WRITING FIRST CONTACT EMAILS
I received this first contact email today:
(This is copied & pasted exactly as sent except for personal information.)
Hello pretty,
I was surfing through profiles after a longtime on this site and i came across your picture,it attracted me so i stopped and decided to read your profile and wow,your profile is just as great as your picture itself.What a beauty!You definitely got your appearance so attracting and appealing.Nobody is gonna skip your profile without sending you a message.I can see sincerity in your eyes.
You look far younger than your age.Is what you have on this site a correct statement of your age?Well for once i thought," hey dare not try contacting her because a pretty lady of this type is already seriously dating'' but again I decided to give it a shot by sending you an email as there is no harm in trying. I really will like to hear back from you so i get to know you more.u can email me on xxxxxxxxxxxxx@yahoo.com or we can talk on yahoo im, also you can leave your number so that i can call you if you don't mind. .hope to hear from you soon bye
Pxxxxxx
What is wrong with this? Nothing, you say? If you can't see it, then you've probably been writing emails like this or worse. It shows the deterioration of the English language skills and letter writing in this country. Run together sentences, improper grammar, and that doesn't even address the content! Just because it's email doesn't mean you should ignore proper form. A woman will be impressed with a man's intelligence in the way he expresses himself. (Apologies to those who are immigrants but, LEARN THE LANGUAGE!)
5 STEPS TO WRITING FIRST CONTACT EMAILS:
1) Open your email with a salutation and end with a signature, i.e. Dear XXXX, or use their ID or something romantic (Beautiful Lady, Dear Venus, etc...). Once you know a woman's real name, address her by it...Dear Jill, Dear Vanessa, or just Vanessa. And please end it with a closing and your signature (name). "Awaiting your reply, John" "Ciao, Eric" "Have a blessed day, Robert" so that she can address you in her reply.
2) Compliments should be sincere, used sparingly, and be creative. DO NOT SAY: "You have a great body." "You are so hot!" "Hot and sexy!" These short, one line compliments are no better than construction workers whistling and cat-calling at a girl passing by. They are offensive, not compliments, when given to a total stranger. It would be better to tell a woman that she has classic beauty, or that she reminds you of someone you had a crush on, or that your life would be improved if you knew her better. Don't gush. Give one or two compliments and move on.
3) Try to get a reaction. Intrigue her, make her laugh, express something about you or your life that you think she might share an interest, tell her about an activity that would be so much more fun if you did it together (not sex! not this soon). If nothing comes to mind, ask questions about what she's into...READ HER PROFILE! Don't just look at the pictures.
4) Thank her for noticing you. "Thanks for taking the time to read my email." "Thanks for looking at my profile. There is so much more that I didn't include." "I can understand if you aren't interested in me romantically but if you need a friend to talk to, I'm here." You can never have enough friends. And sometimes, good friendships turn into great romances.
5) Answer her email promptly. If you can't answer right away, send a short note letting her know that. "Thank you for your email. Things are hectic right now. Will write more soon." and then make the time to answer her. If she's interested in getting to know you better, don't rush into more intimate contact; like giving her every possible way to contact you all at once. Ask if she'd like to message in real time (instant messaging) or would she prefer to talk on the phone. Then let her ask for your information. If her reply says she's not interested, see #4.
I have noticed men rush into phone contact or meeting face to face, putting pressure on the relationship before it even starts. Some men can't type. Let a woman know that or LEARN TO TYPE FASTER! Women are word-based, men are visual-based. Learn to invest some time in expressing yourself, listening, and getting to know a woman as a person. If all you want is sex, then asking every woman you're attracted to if they want to have sex will get you some eventually (just by sheer percentages) but it won't be something you can count on. Establishing conversation and mutual interest will have a woman coming back for more.
(This is copied & pasted exactly as sent except for personal information.)
Hello pretty,
I was surfing through profiles after a longtime on this site and i came across your picture,it attracted me so i stopped and decided to read your profile and wow,your profile is just as great as your picture itself.What a beauty!You definitely got your appearance so attracting and appealing.Nobody is gonna skip your profile without sending you a message.I can see sincerity in your eyes.
You look far younger than your age.Is what you have on this site a correct statement of your age?Well for once i thought," hey dare not try contacting her because a pretty lady of this type is already seriously dating'' but again I decided to give it a shot by sending you an email as there is no harm in trying. I really will like to hear back from you so i get to know you more.u can email me on xxxxxxxxxxxxx@yahoo.com or we can talk on yahoo im, also you can leave your number so that i can call you if you don't mind. .hope to hear from you soon bye
Pxxxxxx
What is wrong with this? Nothing, you say? If you can't see it, then you've probably been writing emails like this or worse. It shows the deterioration of the English language skills and letter writing in this country. Run together sentences, improper grammar, and that doesn't even address the content! Just because it's email doesn't mean you should ignore proper form. A woman will be impressed with a man's intelligence in the way he expresses himself. (Apologies to those who are immigrants but, LEARN THE LANGUAGE!)
5 STEPS TO WRITING FIRST CONTACT EMAILS:
1) Open your email with a salutation and end with a signature, i.e. Dear XXXX, or use their ID or something romantic (Beautiful Lady, Dear Venus, etc...). Once you know a woman's real name, address her by it...Dear Jill, Dear Vanessa, or just Vanessa. And please end it with a closing and your signature (name). "Awaiting your reply, John" "Ciao, Eric" "Have a blessed day, Robert" so that she can address you in her reply.
2) Compliments should be sincere, used sparingly, and be creative. DO NOT SAY: "You have a great body." "You are so hot!" "Hot and sexy!" These short, one line compliments are no better than construction workers whistling and cat-calling at a girl passing by. They are offensive, not compliments, when given to a total stranger. It would be better to tell a woman that she has classic beauty, or that she reminds you of someone you had a crush on, or that your life would be improved if you knew her better. Don't gush. Give one or two compliments and move on.
3) Try to get a reaction. Intrigue her, make her laugh, express something about you or your life that you think she might share an interest, tell her about an activity that would be so much more fun if you did it together (not sex! not this soon). If nothing comes to mind, ask questions about what she's into...READ HER PROFILE! Don't just look at the pictures.
4) Thank her for noticing you. "Thanks for taking the time to read my email." "Thanks for looking at my profile. There is so much more that I didn't include." "I can understand if you aren't interested in me romantically but if you need a friend to talk to, I'm here." You can never have enough friends. And sometimes, good friendships turn into great romances.
5) Answer her email promptly. If you can't answer right away, send a short note letting her know that. "Thank you for your email. Things are hectic right now. Will write more soon." and then make the time to answer her. If she's interested in getting to know you better, don't rush into more intimate contact; like giving her every possible way to contact you all at once. Ask if she'd like to message in real time (instant messaging) or would she prefer to talk on the phone. Then let her ask for your information. If her reply says she's not interested, see #4.
I have noticed men rush into phone contact or meeting face to face, putting pressure on the relationship before it even starts. Some men can't type. Let a woman know that or LEARN TO TYPE FASTER! Women are word-based, men are visual-based. Learn to invest some time in expressing yourself, listening, and getting to know a woman as a person. If all you want is sex, then asking every woman you're attracted to if they want to have sex will get you some eventually (just by sheer percentages) but it won't be something you can count on. Establishing conversation and mutual interest will have a woman coming back for more.
Thursday, May 14, 2009
HELPING FAMILY
While I was in Orlando (between the great sex and showering together) I got a phone call on my cellphone. I answered it only because I get so few calls that I figured it must be important coming from my sister. She was calling to ask my help in moving her classroom. The conversation was short enough that I didn't feel it necessary to tell her she interrupted an intimate moment. I told her I'd drive down to Ft. Lauderdale and help her pack up, sort through, and throw away what was necessary to get her moved from her art room that serviced 800 students/week to her new classroom for 20 second graders next year.
Toni has been teaching elementary art for 16 years at the same school. She got her degree later in life after 30 years as an independent sign painter. Three days after receiving her diploma, she was hired to teach art in an elementary school with 800 students. This year the Broward County School System (South Florida) decided to eliminate art from elementary schools and therefore, eliminating her job. She compensated by immediately getting certified to teach elementary ed to K-3 and will be teaching 2nd grade next year. She saved her employment, her paycheck, and her retirement in four years. She shouldn't have had to do this and this is wrong on so many levels.
Art has more uses than any other subject that is taught. It allows a break from the increasing academic pressures while giving kids an outlet for their creativity. Problem-solving and logic are the core of artistic projects. Students learn about science, math, history, and language incorporated into art classes. They are taught responsibility and conservation (of materials) in art class. There is a special family bond that is formed in an art class (between students and between students and teachers). I lament on what kind of children we will be graduating from elementary school without art. A little less beauty in the world. Fewer sparks of innovation and more creative minds repressed. A large percentage of children that don't do well in math, science, or history, blossom in art, music, performing arts, or creative writing. These are just as important as academic subjects.
Everything we see and buy has been created by an artist. When will the politicians in charge of the money realize art is necessary?! When will artists and educators not have to defend the need for art and not have to fight or beg for every dime that goes for art education??? The family of man will always need to express itself through art.
Toni has been teaching elementary art for 16 years at the same school. She got her degree later in life after 30 years as an independent sign painter. Three days after receiving her diploma, she was hired to teach art in an elementary school with 800 students. This year the Broward County School System (South Florida) decided to eliminate art from elementary schools and therefore, eliminating her job. She compensated by immediately getting certified to teach elementary ed to K-3 and will be teaching 2nd grade next year. She saved her employment, her paycheck, and her retirement in four years. She shouldn't have had to do this and this is wrong on so many levels.
Art has more uses than any other subject that is taught. It allows a break from the increasing academic pressures while giving kids an outlet for their creativity. Problem-solving and logic are the core of artistic projects. Students learn about science, math, history, and language incorporated into art classes. They are taught responsibility and conservation (of materials) in art class. There is a special family bond that is formed in an art class (between students and between students and teachers). I lament on what kind of children we will be graduating from elementary school without art. A little less beauty in the world. Fewer sparks of innovation and more creative minds repressed. A large percentage of children that don't do well in math, science, or history, blossom in art, music, performing arts, or creative writing. These are just as important as academic subjects.
Everything we see and buy has been created by an artist. When will the politicians in charge of the money realize art is necessary?! When will artists and educators not have to defend the need for art and not have to fight or beg for every dime that goes for art education??? The family of man will always need to express itself through art.
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
THE TRIST
I had it all planned. Two days in an upscale 3 star hotel in Orlando. BT had a 6 1/2 hour layover in the Orlando International Airport and the hotel is the top floors of the airport. How's that for convenience? I haven't seen him in two years. I was so excited I could hardly sleep. He was coming in at 9:30AM and his departure flight was at 4:30PM. I ordered breakfast for 8AM, so I could eat and then nap while waiting for him to pickup the key/card I left for him at the desk. He would come up and slip into bed with me and wake me with sensual affections. I even condescended to wear a thong and matching camisole, thinking that he would have something to "unwrap." That was the plan.
He still hadn't arrived by 10:00AM. I figured he must be held up at customs. The hotel CC channel only showed departure information. I napped some more and then it was 11:15!! I checked my email (which had been our only communication through his Blackberry since he was on the road). Had he lost my phone number?! He had sent me an email asking "Where are you?" I emailed him back. "I'm in room ### waiting for you. There's a key waiting for you at the front desk." 15 minutes later he knocked on the door. I opened the door and asked why he hadn't used his key? He said they didn't have an envelope for him at the desk...I said no, they had a key for him...He said no they didn't! I was pissed! But I didn't care, he was there! and I threw my arms around him and said, "I don't care, you're here now, I don't care!" and we kissed, and held each other. And then when we came up for air, he told me..."I didn't think you were here. I changed my flight to an earlier flight" and my heart sunk. Instead of five hours, we now had an hour and a half. He said, "It's usually impossible to change to an earlier flight, but this time it wasn't." OH JOYS! WTF!? Damn if our timing doesn't suck! Or is it just our communication?
So we made the best use of the time we had. We got naked, fell into each others arms, gave personal attention to each other and then got down to serious sex. After he came, we held each other, intertwined, and talked and sighed...deep, satisfied, comfortable sighs. Then we took a shower and soaped each other thoroughly and it was glorious. He got dressed and I came out with only a towel on my wet hair. He said, "You're naked." I said, "I am." We kissed, and he said that maybe he would get bumped from the flight and could stay over. I said I'd pray for it. We kissed...long, deep, soulful...and then at the door, just before he left, we kissed...my hand on his cheek, looking deep into his eyes...I said, "love you"...and he said, "love you"...and then he was gone. An hour and a half of joy!
1:30 came and went..No news..2:00PM...I knew he was on his way back to Santo Domingo. He promised to try to make arrangements to have a longer layover soon, like overnight. He visits his uncle in Orlando once a year (with his kids) but he'd plan to slip away a day or two to see me. But that's not until August. Long distance relationships SUCK!
He still hadn't arrived by 10:00AM. I figured he must be held up at customs. The hotel CC channel only showed departure information. I napped some more and then it was 11:15!! I checked my email (which had been our only communication through his Blackberry since he was on the road). Had he lost my phone number?! He had sent me an email asking "Where are you?" I emailed him back. "I'm in room ### waiting for you. There's a key waiting for you at the front desk." 15 minutes later he knocked on the door. I opened the door and asked why he hadn't used his key? He said they didn't have an envelope for him at the desk...I said no, they had a key for him...He said no they didn't! I was pissed! But I didn't care, he was there! and I threw my arms around him and said, "I don't care, you're here now, I don't care!" and we kissed, and held each other. And then when we came up for air, he told me..."I didn't think you were here. I changed my flight to an earlier flight" and my heart sunk. Instead of five hours, we now had an hour and a half. He said, "It's usually impossible to change to an earlier flight, but this time it wasn't." OH JOYS! WTF!? Damn if our timing doesn't suck! Or is it just our communication?
So we made the best use of the time we had. We got naked, fell into each others arms, gave personal attention to each other and then got down to serious sex. After he came, we held each other, intertwined, and talked and sighed...deep, satisfied, comfortable sighs. Then we took a shower and soaped each other thoroughly and it was glorious. He got dressed and I came out with only a towel on my wet hair. He said, "You're naked." I said, "I am." We kissed, and he said that maybe he would get bumped from the flight and could stay over. I said I'd pray for it. We kissed...long, deep, soulful...and then at the door, just before he left, we kissed...my hand on his cheek, looking deep into his eyes...I said, "love you"...and he said, "love you"...and then he was gone. An hour and a half of joy!
1:30 came and went..No news..2:00PM...I knew he was on his way back to Santo Domingo. He promised to try to make arrangements to have a longer layover soon, like overnight. He visits his uncle in Orlando once a year (with his kids) but he'd plan to slip away a day or two to see me. But that's not until August. Long distance relationships SUCK!
Sunday, May 10, 2009
MOTHER'S DAY
And it is a mutha' of a day. 37 years without one, missing her every Mother's Day, birthday (hers, mine, my son's), holiday, and any day that I'm depressed and feeling like I have no focus or purpose. Any day that I need comfort, guidance, support, or motherly wisdom, the vacuum left behind in her absence is a cavernous ache in my heart and soul. I had to face becoming an adult woman, becoming a wife, pregnancy, childbirth, young motherhood, empty nest, widowhood, and menopause without a mother to help me through any of it.
The only thing that got me through it all is the part of me that is her. Her determination, strength of will, tenacity, and the unwavering conviction that I can be and have whatever...if I want it bad enough. Nothing is impossible. I have her sheer appreciation and enjoyment of simple pleasures and pure beauty. Through example and necessity, she taught me independence and self-reliance. She taught me to be frugal but always invest in that which is made well and lasts. I inherited her thirst for knowledge. I see her in my son and my nephew...little sparks that remind me of her.
I'm trying to read through her diaries and create something from them. Something that will live on long after I'm gone from this plane of existence. I only had her in my life for 15 1/2 years and I would like her to "come alive" to my son and my granddaughter, who never had the chance to know her. I remember her and my sister remembers her, but the memory of Sunny Anderson needs to be accessible to the future. I don't want her spark to go unnoticed.
Evelyn (Sunny) Marie Insley Anderson (April 16, 1923 - July 2, 1972)
Happy Mother's Day, Mom! I love you and miss you.
The only thing that got me through it all is the part of me that is her. Her determination, strength of will, tenacity, and the unwavering conviction that I can be and have whatever...if I want it bad enough. Nothing is impossible. I have her sheer appreciation and enjoyment of simple pleasures and pure beauty. Through example and necessity, she taught me independence and self-reliance. She taught me to be frugal but always invest in that which is made well and lasts. I inherited her thirst for knowledge. I see her in my son and my nephew...little sparks that remind me of her.
I'm trying to read through her diaries and create something from them. Something that will live on long after I'm gone from this plane of existence. I only had her in my life for 15 1/2 years and I would like her to "come alive" to my son and my granddaughter, who never had the chance to know her. I remember her and my sister remembers her, but the memory of Sunny Anderson needs to be accessible to the future. I don't want her spark to go unnoticed.
Evelyn (Sunny) Marie Insley Anderson (April 16, 1923 - July 2, 1972)
Happy Mother's Day, Mom! I love you and miss you.
Friday, May 08, 2009
WHY BOTHER, T?
Got a phone call and voice mail today from T finally. He said "I wanted to call and say hi. We had a good time, didn't we?" That was it. No, "call me back" or "Sorry I didn't call sooner" and then an excuse as to why, "I'd like to see you again." My instincts were correct (as they usually are) and all he wanted was sex. He made contact frequently to facilitate interest on my part and a meeting. I'm too blasted honest about sex and what I want for my own good. Do I have to tell a man when I expect him to call me? Like, "I expect you to call me, no later than tomorrow, to tell me how much you enjoyed my company." Are men this insensitive? YES! Are men this unappreciative? YES!
TWO WEEKS he waits to call me! Which planet does this man come from? As I said in the earlier post, I didn't expect anything more than this, so I'm not disappointed. But I wish I had been pleasantly surprised instead. Se la vie!
TWO WEEKS he waits to call me! Which planet does this man come from? As I said in the earlier post, I didn't expect anything more than this, so I'm not disappointed. But I wish I had been pleasantly surprised instead. Se la vie!
Tuesday, May 05, 2009
FIVE STAGES OF CONTACT
ONLINE DATING SITE CONTACTS
It takes a lot of courage to write an email to someone to whom you are attracted. Lots of dating sites allow for "winks," "icebreakers," "flirts," and other synonyms for (mostly free) first contact. (True.com is notorious for sending unsolicited winks to it's members to generate interest between matches. Just be polite and honest with a contact if you didn't send the wink.) Here's some hints on what it all means, so you don't get the wrong idea of intentions. These terms all have to do with the site and it's vocabulary.
It takes a lot of courage to write an email to someone to whom you are attracted. Lots of dating sites allow for "winks," "icebreakers," "flirts," and other synonyms for (mostly free) first contact. (True.com is notorious for sending unsolicited winks to it's members to generate interest between matches. Just be polite and honest with a contact if you didn't send the wink.) Here's some hints on what it all means, so you don't get the wrong idea of intentions. These terms all have to do with the site and it's vocabulary.
- Someone looks/views your profile - means JUST that. They looked at you. It doesn't mean they are interested in you. Unless they look at your profile a lot, many times a week, or everyday (this might be a very shy person or a stalker...too soon to tell).
- Someone sent you a wink - means look at me, read my profile and see if you like me. They were looking through the matches sent to them by the dating site or collected in a search, and thought you looked nice or you might have something in common with each other. If you like what you see, wink back or email them that you like what you see/read.
- Someone added you to their favorites or black book - means they are interested in you. They were looking through their matches and did not want to forget you but were not quite ready to send a wink or email. If they don't initiate contact within a week or so and you are interested, then you initiate contact with an email. It makes a stronger statement than just a wink. Put some thought into it and ask some questions to get the conversation going.
- Someone sends you an email with less than a paragraph. These emails consist of: "Your really hot!" "I want to get to know you." "You so sexy. Email me if your interested." "Heres my phone number/email/IM ID. Plese contact me." and so on.... (If the obvious lack of spelling/grammar or self expression doesn't turn you off immediately, then pursue it.) These are so uninteresting that you can ignore them without any response. If they are not going to even ask you a question or tell you something, they didn't put much thought into the contact. More than likely they are just looking for a brief encounter. Don't feel guilty about being rude, they certainly were.
- Someone sends you an email with some thought to the content but they don't want to waste a lot of time on emailing back and forth. They want to talk on the phone right away. These people more than not are not very good at typing and/or expressing themselves in writing. They also don't want to invest any time in building a relationship. Put in the time! Find someone with like goals who does not mind getting to know you through each step of the way. Otherwise, you will have a lot of first meetings, few real dates, and lots of one-night-stands. But if that's what you're looking for, go for it. Just be honest with yourself and your date.
Saturday, May 02, 2009
HAPPY BIRTHDAY IAN!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY IAN!
To my son on his 24th birthday, I hope today brings you happiness. Celebrate the fact that you are alive. Do something you really want to do. Have some fun. Be with people that you enjoy. I love you sweetheart.
The day you were born was the happiest day of my life. It was the happiest day of your father's life. He said it was the best birthday present he'd had ever gotten (even though you were a week late for his birthday). You gave him great joy, as you do me. He was so proud of the you and I am so proud of the man you've become.
Think of what is important to you, what excites you, what brings you joy, and work towards making those things the priorities in your life. Be open emotionally, affectionate, and loving, and you will attract the same. Try to be of service to others without losing yourself. Be good to yourself.
Happy Birthday, son. I love you.
To my son on his 24th birthday, I hope today brings you happiness. Celebrate the fact that you are alive. Do something you really want to do. Have some fun. Be with people that you enjoy. I love you sweetheart.
The day you were born was the happiest day of my life. It was the happiest day of your father's life. He said it was the best birthday present he'd had ever gotten (even though you were a week late for his birthday). You gave him great joy, as you do me. He was so proud of the you and I am so proud of the man you've become.
Think of what is important to you, what excites you, what brings you joy, and work towards making those things the priorities in your life. Be open emotionally, affectionate, and loving, and you will attract the same. Try to be of service to others without losing yourself. Be good to yourself.
Happy Birthday, son. I love you.
Friday, May 01, 2009
WHERE ARE YOU?
I'm here waiting. I'm looking for you. I have put myself out there on countless dating sites. I have read 20,000 profiles, written 10,000 emails and IMs. I've gone on hundreds of "first meetings" and "first dates" and dozens of second dates...had brief encounters, no encounters...made several long term friends and friends with benefits. I've broken hearts and had my heart broken.
WHERE ARE YOU? I need you to laugh with me and to make me laugh. To share secrets, hold my hand, rub my back, and say how great I cook. You were suppose to wake me up this morning with a gentle kiss on my shoulder, spooned up against me, wrapped up in your arms. And then I was suppose to rock your world. I need to give all this love and affection to you, not to mention full body massages. I was suppose to tell you how much I love you today, but you weren't here.
WHERE ARE YOU? There's a new Star Trek movie opening and I wanted to see it with you. I wanted to wash your clothes. I wanted to go shopping with you for your new shoes but you're not here. I wanted to get tickets to the baseball game, the comedy show, and the art exhibit but I can't find you to go with me. Where are you?
WHERE ARE YOU? I need you to laugh with me and to make me laugh. To share secrets, hold my hand, rub my back, and say how great I cook. You were suppose to wake me up this morning with a gentle kiss on my shoulder, spooned up against me, wrapped up in your arms. And then I was suppose to rock your world. I need to give all this love and affection to you, not to mention full body massages. I was suppose to tell you how much I love you today, but you weren't here.
WHERE ARE YOU? There's a new Star Trek movie opening and I wanted to see it with you. I wanted to wash your clothes. I wanted to go shopping with you for your new shoes but you're not here. I wanted to get tickets to the baseball game, the comedy show, and the art exhibit but I can't find you to go with me. Where are you?
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